Sisters as Bridesmaids

I'm sure she will be hurt to be the only sister not asked. But she has to remember you have friends too. Maybe she could be your personal attendant instead.

I don't have any siblings so I can't say how I'd feel if I weren't chosen, but from what you have said, I wouldn't ask her. You said you're not close and you don't want to, so don't. I'm sure most will disagree, and I might be influenced by the fact that "family" means nothing to me, but you should surround yourself with people who are meaningful and will support you.

I would normally say no obligation bridesmaids but I too added my sister who I'm not close with at all. Turns out she cared about being one far more than I thought. When I asked her, I planned to just include her in things like the shower and staggette, but not depend on her for anything else- that's what my other bridesmaids will be for. This way I won't be disappointed if she doesn't step up.

I am not asking my brother to be a groomsman and I am not asking my FSIL to be a BM. Why? My brother would hate it and it would not be cool to force him to be cordial with FH's best buddies who all know each other. And FSIL? My FH basically hates her and they will not even acknowledge each other if they are in the same room. It is insanely awkward. She will not even try to talk to me or attempt a conversation. FH suggested she be a BM to "have an extra person". Quite frankly I do not care if I only have two BM's and he has 6 GM's - I am not going to ask a relative stranger to be a BM in my wedding.

I'd be hurt but I'd move on. I say do what works for you. Or from how you describe her, she may say no anyway. I had a similar dilemma with cousins. I have a group of three first cousins who are sisters. One I grew up with as best friends and I was in her wedding but we've since really grown apart, one I got really close to as I got older, and one I was never really close to because she's the youngest. The only one I wanted was the one I've been close to for the last 10 years. I was worried about offending the others but just said eff it. If they get hurt they'll get over it.

I should also include that part of it also comes down to the fact that I will already have a party of four (eight if you include his groomsmen) and I really don't want anymore than that.

I'm not gonna lie with siblings I get a little touchy. I would be very upset if it was me. Especially since you're asking your other sisters. My brother is in my wedding but I was not asked to be in his and I'm not gonna lie, it really hurts. I try to tell myself it's okay because I won't have to worry if I get prego or spend money on a dress but it still bothered me that I'm not part of his day... and we are close. I personally think unless you don't get along with your siblings or there are too many then they should have some part of your day. I understand that you may have grown apart but ultimately the first at least 18 (usually or more) years of your life you spent a significant amount of time with them (just by living in close proximity) and I'm sure they influenced you and made you part of who you are today. That's just my opinion. I know everyones situation is diff tho.

I have 4 BMs, 3 are friends and the 1 is FH's younger sister. I too have a younger sister but I did not want her to be a part of the bridal party just because we never got along and I feel that she is very irresponsible. My mother and grandmother did tell me that she was hurt that I did not ask her to be a BM but I don’t really feel that bad because we always argued about everything and she’s very immature. Not sure what kind of ceremony you are having, but I was going to suggest your older sister could read a scripture during the ceremony…

If one sister is unsupportive and negative, you can almost count on her making an issue out of two sisters being asked while she's being excluded (whether she really wants to be in the bridal party or not). If it gets ridiculous enough, your mother may be pulled into it -- this just seems like the set-up for the perfect storm. I'd ask her. In the long run, I think it will make things run more smoothly.

I would; my SIL asked me to be a bridesmaid for my brothers wedding and not my sister and my sister was offended. She went on how they would hang out more then us, go shopping etc. and didn't get why she asked me and not her. my SIL had her walk our nephews down the aisle because they were still too young but she really wanted to be a maid. So yes, I would still ask and if she doesn't want to be then she can say no but at least you asked.

The thing is I know she will say yes, not necessarily because she wants to be one, but again out of obligation. So there is no "at least I asked her". Thank you guys for your responses. All of your opinions have been very helpful. I guess I have a lot of perspectives to think about.

Also, no one in the family really likes her so no one would be on her side drama wise.

My brother is in my wedding, FH loves him and they're moderately close.

If the tables were turned and I wasn't in my brothers wedding I would be heart broken.

I think she will be upset if she is the only one not asked.

What if I wouldn't be upset at all if I wasn't included in hers regardless of who else was? When she was planning her wedding (which never ended up happening) we weren't even going to be invited.

You could have her speak at the ceremony or reception?

IDK I am from the south were all sisters/brothers are bridesmaids/groomsmen and the best man is the grooms dad.

If I were her, I would, but there are other roles than just BM's.

I generally have a "whatever" attitude towards this kind of thing, but I would be offended. Only one of my sisters is married and she didn't have bridesmaids, and that was fine. But if she made my other sister a bridesmaid and not me, that would cut deep. Even if she is not a bridesmaid, it would be nice to include her in the bridal party in some way so she doesn't get excluded.