Sister troubles

To be honest, and I really dont mean to come off as rude or offensive, but I think you're over reacting by a lot. One of my bridesmaids is getting married next Friday (about a month before mine) and she only announced it a couple weeks ago (it's a marriage because of pregnancy so its rushed). I'm getting married only 3 weeks before my fiance's cousin and they were engaged for longer. I made sure to check with them to make sure they were ok with the date, but everyone is happy for each other. How long you've been with someone doesn't put you ahead of the line to get married. Neither does length of engagement. She will be almost 3 months ahead of your date. That's more than enough time for her to have her own spotlight and for you to have yours. I think you should leave it be and just be happy for her

Our best man for whatever reason was the same way. He really wanted ours to be after his. We got engaged about a month after he did. Been together for about same time he has with his lady. I don't know why it really mattered to him that ours was after and not before but we did after due to our schedules not because we accommodated him.
Are you worried about something? Like comparisons of your weddings? Or are you worried she would be too engrossed in her own planning that it'd conflict with duties for yours?

Are you worried about family not being able to make it to both events? If you are worried that out of town family can not come to both events then I understand why you would be upset. If you are just upset cause her wedding is first then I think it is a bit of a over reaction,

She already moved it for you, which is HUGE.
My brother and I had weddings 6 weeks apart. Both were lovely and very much their own, neither took away from the other even in the slightest.

I totally get it from your perspective of getting engaged first. This happened with my cousin and my brother and they never got over it.

My cousin and her husband had a long engagement and finally set the date. She has always dreamed of her wedding so it was a huge deal. They had their date in California. My brother and his wife got engaged and set their date a week before my cousins wedding in hawaii. Most family had to pick between the two and it has caused a lot of strain even though they were never close. So it's not a surprise they still hold resentment for each other.

My husband's brother got married a little over a month before us (their date was actually in may as a destination wedding. We set our date, they had to reschedule cause of hurricane devastation and then chose their date a month and change before ours.) Also his step brother was married a few 3 months before them! My husband was more annoyed about the change before ours and it ended up just fine. If it was happening to me directly I would have been annoyed as well initially.

Perhaps it's just the principle of the entire thing, did you want her to get married after you? Does it steal your thunder? Do you not agree or understand why she needs to get married before?

Sometimes getting married last is best cause you get to learn from everyone else's weddings. you may just need time and space from your sister. Maybe compare notes or not at all. Both weddings will be your own and fret not. Refocus and reevaluate. You'll likely look back years from now and be able to laugh about it.

I agree that it was nice of her to move hers up so that it’s 10 weeks before yours. Unless 2 weeks or less before yours I don’t think it’s right to be upset.

And just don’t share details with her if you’re worried she’ll use your ideas. You’ll be fine!

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Its good to hear from some non biased people and people who have had similar situations.

I don't think it's right for people to tell you it's not right for you to be upset.
It is. You are a human with feelings.
My best friend did this to me as well, got engaged 4 months after me and put her wedding 4 months before mine. I was pissed, FH was pissed. It's something we had talked about before their engagement even happened. I personally feel like everyone is going to care more about her than me, because they are liked more as a couple and have had way less ups and downs than us. But, in the end, her wedding and mine are completely different. She's a princess type, I'm more laid back! She's doing pinks and girlier stuff, I'm doing fall and deep colors. While it still irks me, because I am terrible with grudges, I'm still happy for them and love them, and we are eachothers matrons of honor, and I couldnever kick her oit of my wedding for something that's my own deep rooted issue. That's just cold. I mean I can be petty, but that's beyond petty.
At the end of the day, each of your weddings are different and are about YOU and FH.
I understand your frustration, but please don't hurt her like that over something like this.

Your sister should've handled your feelings better, but everyone lives their own lives. And that includes planning weddings.

My FSIL acted the same way when we got engaged a few weeks after her and my brother did and set our wedding 9 months before theirs. She said that they got engaged first, so they get to be married first. Really, she just wanted all eyes on her for 2+ years.

I said, "I'm sorry but that's just how it's worked out for us". We found a gorgeous venue at an amazing price and we jumped on it. It wasn't our fault that they had to push their engagement to over 2 years because they couldn't handle their finances correctly. (It was a whole thing with buying a brand new house that was out of their budget and had to be financed twice).

I 100% understand where you're coming from. My first husband and I got engaged in August and his older brother got engaged the following October. We planned our wedding for that upcoming July and his brother and fiance planned for the following October. We came out with our date before them and my inlaws had a fit that we were getting married before the older couple even though they picked their date after we did. We ended up posting our wedding for December after the other couples wedding to ease the tension. I didnt really care who got married first but I was definitely upset that they were so upset and they chose a wedding date after ours. My advise.... you chose your wedding date and the tricky thing about having long engagements is that its likely others will get engaged and married before you and you cant except them to postpone for you. If you want to beat them down the eisel you could always consider moving your wedding date.

I think you're overreacting. She already moved the date for you and you're weddings are almost 3 months apart. Everyone gets their day, but I think it's a tad selfish to basically expect your whole engagement time to be about you only. There's plenty of room and time to celebrate both things.