Sister taking the Mother of the Bride role

I'm more concerned about how you said, "I don't care about the title so much and what responsibilities I should give her."

What responsibilities? If she is a BM, she shows up and stands by your side. No jobs. And why does it matter if it is the day after her anniversary? Sorry Danielle - I'm confused on what you are wanting here..

Matron-of-honor

Jamie, I think she means should her sister walk down the aisle the way MOB would, or as a bridesmaid or MOH. It sounds too nice for that

I would ask her what she prefers - that you love her and want to honor her and be a part of your wedding, in whatever capacity she wants.

I would just ask her what she wants to help with and include her that way.

If you want her to walk down the aisle with you, she can still be a matron of honor - it's your wedding, you can make the roles anything you want!

I'm trying to stay with as much of the traditional/old fashioned as possible with my non traditional situations. Looking at what roles the different relations follow and then personalise it for my wedding. Because I'm doing a bigger and attempting at traditional wedding there are different things that are asked of the MoB then there would be of a bridesmaid. I think the thing that was hard was it didn't feel right asking her to be a bridesmaid. She doesn't seem to fit that role and I didn't really know how I could still have her participate in the ceremony. I'm having a hard time figuring out how to do the ceremony all together. Someone suggested to have her do a reading for us during the ceremony which I still need to ask her if she would like to do. I guess we worked out that my fiance will walk her down the isle, then his parents will go together and then her husband is walking me down. This is a way that she will get recognition of how important she is to me during my big day. I'm also working on a present for my fiance's mom and I'm going to give her a similar while personalised one. Still don't know if I should give them at the same time or individually. She lives in a different state but I'm trying to keep her updated on the day to day decisions about the wedding through text and phone calls a bit more. She is already telling me that on the day of the wedding if anything goes wrong or needs to be taken care of she will handle it. Instead of me having to stress about little details that go wrong she will be the one to fix them for me. (I hope she won't be too forceful when standing up for me.) My sister and my fiance's mom are both very forceful personalities that want a more active role in the wedding then just showing up and maybe standing at the altar with me. I guess it's a good thing that the two of them get along so well.

The reason (that I didn't make very clear) that I mentioned about my wedding being the day after my sisters 15th anniversary is that I want to acknowledge it in some way. I was originally going to have my wedding on there anniversary but decided to do it the next day. That way we will both have our own special day but it will be significant that they are back to back. They were going to have a renewal of vows on their 15th but said they don't want to do it now because it will take away from my day (I think that while it is very thoughtful it is also stupid and they should still do it.) Because the rehearsal dinner will be on their 15th anniversary I want to find some way to make that dinner a little bit more about them. A toast or maybe a mini cake or something? The rehearsal dinner is just so the two sides can meet and get to know each other a little before the big day, right? My fiance's sister heard that we were wanting to do this and said that acknowledging the anniversary in any form would be very uncomfortable for the people on his side that don't know them. I don't understand how that would be but I don't want the guess to be uncomfortable. (It might help to say that she is extremely jealous of the great relationship her bother has with my sister's husband rather than her husband.)

I was "mother of the bride" at my sister's wedding. (My parents didn't attend, and they actually needed the "parents of the bride" to sign off on some paperwork, so my brother and I stepped in.) I don't know that you really need to give her another title if she's doing that. You can have her escorted to her seat (or she could escort you up the aisle), sit in the front row, wear a corsage, give a short speech at the reception, etc.

As to your sister's anniversary, my parents' 25th anniversary was the day before my first wedding. We just did a toast to them at the rehearsal dinner. I don't think that anyone was uncomfortable about it, even though the vast majority of the guests were on the groom's side.

I second what others have said.

Have you thought about?

Matron of honor

Walking you down the aisle with her husband.

You making a speech in her honor.

You presenting her with a gift.

She sits with you at the table of honor.

You surprise her with a cake at the rehearsal dinner.

You can do whatever you want!!!!

As for your anniversaries being back to back, my sister got married the day after my parents' anniversary. They got a small cake that we ate to celebrate. My sister also said a quick little toast I think to my parents. I don't think anyone found it strange and it was cool for people to see that strong marriage, so I think you should mention something like that.

I think having her as an MOH would be nice, I had my sister-in-law who is 10 years younger than me as a bridesmaid so age differences aren't terrible. And my sister was my MOH and also handled a lot of things like your sister sounds like she wants to do. So an MOH would be a good idea. However I also like that your FH would walk with her and maybe she can give a small speech at the reception as the more MOB role. Have her get ready with you too. Honestly, my mom didn't do a whole lot in terms of special roles. I did a father daughter dance and my mom joined at the end, and she was introduced as my mom before the grand entrance but other than that there wasn't anything really specific for her. I think you can just have her do whatever you both like!