Sister problems..

Ask her to consider her kids since they're your ring bearer and flower girl. Is a family intervention or mediation an option? I'm sure you were surrounded by those that love and care about you at shower, however, I'm sure it's not the same with the lack of support from your sister. Maybe there's something else going on that your sister is uncomfortable talking about-- sounds like there's more there reading between the lines. You may need to have a heart-to-heart with your sister-- perhaps it weill help? Good luck! Sending positive vibes your way!

I'm sorry you're going through this! I don't have a sister and I've always been happy about that. Even if she does leave after the ceremony, you will hardly notice. There will be so many other people there who are excited to celebrate! Try to focus on those people.

I have a sister and have had no relationship with her over the last 2-3 years. She did some awful things and refused to acknowledge her part in the drama that followed and so we don’t talk. She’s seen my daughter twice since 2016 and both of those were for family events. She’s not in my wedding, though I invited her because that was easier than fighting with my grandmother.

I know it’s hard, but sometimes you have to accept that even if someone is family doesn’t mean they’re a healthy relationship for you.

It sounds like she has consistently shown her true colors, so it's time for you to move on. If you constantly stress over her, then you will only rob yourself of any joy you could be having during your wedding planning, because I promise your stress is not bothering her one bit. You should concentrate on the people in your life that do show love, support, and happiness towards your wedding. Plus you will have plenty of other guests at your wedding to celebrate with. The only way her leaving after the ceremony could ruin anything is if you let it. I know she is your sister, and you want her to be closer / more excited, but unfortunately it doesn't sound like she is going to be. Sorry she is making you feel that way, but really try to concentrate on your FH and y'all's wedding right now...and all of the positive surrounding it.

This sounds very similar to my sister. We were never close growing up (9 year age gap) but she moved back home 3 years ago and we became very close since I was now an adult. We dyed our hair together, went to concerts, got tattoos together and she really is like one of my best friends. She’s my big sister, she watched out for me and taught me things and was there for me when I needed her. Our mother passed away 7 years ago and she stepped up when she moved home and became my friend again.

But my sister is very temperamental. It’s her way or the highway sometimes. She can be rude and mean and selfish. She’s very critical of me and has an incredibly strong personality that sometimes we don’t always get along because of. Not to sound vain, but I think she’s jealous of me. I love her, but her life didn’t turn out the way she thought it would. She got stuck in a terribly emotionally and mentally abusive marriage because of a pregnancy and eventually divorced him but she and her son suffer because her ex is a legitimate psycho, like a doctor really thinks he’s had a mental break since she left him.

And she takes her woes out on me. And it’s not fair. But no matter what I do or say, she’s too selfish to care. She was going through a bad breakup when I moved out and got engaged, and she treated me horribly the whole time. She basically told me that she didn’t approve when we fought and I asked her why she wasn’t excited about me getting married (“You don’t want my opinion on that.”) and has spoken badly about me to my MOH (my best friend and our hairdresser) about planning my wedding (“I don’t know why Kaitlyn is bothering to plan a wedding when she’s just going to end up getting married in the backyard.”). She got married in the backyard of our dads house to her terrible ex and is being spiteful.

I knew the moment she wasn’t excited about my engagement, that I didn’t want her in my wedding party. I had to bug her and practically drag her out of her room when FH and I went to my dads house to tell them. I’ve contemplated not even inviting her to my wedding, that’s how much I don’t want her bad, negative energy around me on my wedding day. I’m convinced that she would still be a massive witch to me up until the moment I got married. And don’t even get me started on her + an open bar at my wedding. She’s a disaster, a trash fire, a selfish mean, cruel woman.

At the end end of the day, it’s my decision not to include her in my party (or wedding at all). I can understand your hurt and grief and sadness about all of this. Sisters are tricky things. I have some of the same fears that you do about how my sister will act at my wedding. So you’re totally not alone ❤️

Oh man! I relate to this! My sister has decided not to come to my wedding. The motto with my sister has been and will continue to be "No expectations, no disappointments." We cannot control other's actions, she will do what she wants.

Oye. Girl. Let me tell you. I had a similar situation with a family member. I did the same thing as you, tried to build a relationship, reach out, include, include, include. And got rejected about 90% of the time. If I have learned anything over stressing about it, talking to a therapist about it, and crying about it. No matter what you do, you can't control other people's actions.

If she is not making you an active part of her life, that is not your problem to fix. Make whatever decisions you need to make to have your niece and nephew involved, give her the details she needs to get them there and probably prepare that she won't follow through. And if she does, it will be a nice surprise.

She's showing you who she is every time she talks to you (or ignores you). Listen to what she's saying. You have to let it go. You're never going to have a close relationship with her. Just be glad she agreed to let your niece and nephew be in your wedding and let the rest go.

For me, my youngest sister has done something extremely distasteful recently, and it hurts my heart because I've tried to talk to her about it, give her advice and it's almost like she has 0 feelings about the situation. 0 Feelings about how | feel about everything, and I told her I basically don't approve of what she's been doing. She's been ignoring me through text, calls, FB, every social media platform. She was going to be one of my bridesmaids, but I told her I think it's obvious that she's not interested in anything that's going on, or fixing the situation she has caused, so why should I be interested in her still being a bridesmaid? Some people need tough love, even if it's your blood relatives. It's sad that it's sometimes your family members that truly hurt, burn, and disrespect you the most. Just devastating. But you've done your part in trying to include her in various activities, just for her to shut you down! It's just downright mean of her. She says she can live with not being a bridesmaid. That's what my sis said. Just so cold! She'd rather not be a bridesmaid than correct her wrongdoings, and it just goes to show that you can't fix people. We still gotta live our lives. Really sorry you're going through this!

Thank you for all the supportive responses! And thank you for sharing your stories. I’m sorry that a lot of us have gone through similar situations...my heart goes out to all - but it’s nice to not feel alone with these feelings ❤️
My sister didn’t show to rehearsal, came to wedding and all was fine but a few days later we had a falling out over my wedding photos that she shared all the photos with the family without asking me first - when I nicely asked her to delete the drive because it was something my husband and I wanted to do - select our photos to share, she said she never wanted to hear from me and and told me to enjoy my life. and I am going to do that and enjoy my life without any more emotional abuse from her.
I am going to look into therapy to help cope with the situation but for now just celebrating my new family with my husband and find happiness in the fact that we had a beautiful memorable wedding and our marriage ❤️

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing ❤️ Trying to come to terms and just working on living my life happily. Going to look into therapy for assist to cope. It Is what it is at this point and I know there’s nothing more I can do as I have done everything to take the high road. Thank you ❤️