Sister photographer

Oh man that’s a steal if she’s free because wedding photography is expensive. However I wanna think she would still treat this professionally?

If you can afford it, maybe hire someone and tell her you want her to be there enjoying your wedding day with you and being IN family photos, not taking them?

Friendors are very difficult to navigate. My cousin is a wedding photographer but we ended up hiring someone else because she wanted to enjoy the wedding, and I agreed. I'm of two minds, and while I do agree that she shouldn't get overtly frustrated with you, I'm sure she gets just as annoyed with her other clients and just has to put on her game face. But she's giving you a 2-5k gift, which we should double the value of if you're getting married on a weekend where she could have been making money. At the same time, your wedding day should be a happy day and you guys may end up resenting each other. I just think mixing friends/family with business is an iffy move. This probably wasn't very helpful. But maybe gave you another viewpoint? Maybe you should offer to pay her something for her time, even if it's not the full amount so she feels appreciated. She's not going to be able to enjoy your wedding day as your guest/sister because she's going to be working.

View Quoted Comment This exactly. I said it much less succinctly

Friendors are never a good idea for a wedding. It can cause a lot of additional stress that a professional vendor will not cause. I would determine what you can afford to spend on your wedding and find a professional photographer. Once you do that, I would just explain to your sister that you've decided to hire a photographer because you don't want to make any of your friends or family work on your wedding day because you want it to be as stress free as possible for you and those you love. I would also point out that as your sister she will need to be in family photos so if she is taking the photos that wouldn't be possible. Also, if she doesn't have a second shooter you could mention how you'd really like to have two photographers and that you booked someone that includes a second shooter.

View Quoted Comment I 100% agree with this. The photographer is running around taking pictures the whole time. My mom and I literally had to remind our photographer to stop and eat something twice! This isn't one of those vendor jobs that are quick and then done so your relative can then enjoy the wedding as a guest. I would ask her for a recommendation for a colleague because I would much rather have my sister in the wedding photos and enjoying the day rather than working.

Hire a different photographer.

View Quoted Comment Hopefully, your sister will understand. But if you think she’ll really want to take photos, you can ask if she’d be willing to do your engagement photos, or maybe the photos at the rehearsal dinner.

I’d tell her you want her to enjoy the wedding as a guest and not work. The stress might not be worth the money.

Just to note, we have TWO family members with very expensive professional cameras and they love taking photos; they would have stayed all wedding behind their cameras. I didn’t want them in the way of pros we hired so I asked them NOT to take photos during the ceremony or cocktail hour because I wanted great photos of them enjoying our wedding, not hidden behind a camera. They totally listened. 👍

Professional photographer for nothing ouuff. As tempting as that is, if you guys disagree a lot It could be really bad. I don’t know I think you should probably just hire a regular photographer. Think about it, what if you guys get into some sort of tiff or argument and then she still has to edit your pictures. I’m not saying that she won’t do a good job, but imagine someone editing someone’s pictures that they’re kind of upset with. That’s a pretty huge gift on her part as well. Do you think that may cause tension after the fact?For example, after your wedding is over and after you already have the pictures, say if you get into a fight with her will she possibly bring up your wedding photos that she did for free?

Honestly, I would rather have family and friends as guests at my wedding rather than working. You could use that as a reason for hiring someone else.

View Quoted Comment

Joining the chorus on this one.

I had one "friendor" and she was more of a coworker. She was my videographer, and she literally tailed us from the start of the ceremony to close to the end of the reception. Our photographers were with us even before the ceremony.

Your sister wouldn't even get to be in family photos.

Ask for her recommendation, and, if you're super lucky, the professional friend will give a discount.