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Just Said Yes April 2018

Sister or cousin for maid of honor

Tiffany, on March 22, 2017 at 11:18 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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Help! I'm having such a hard time deciding who to pick and it's stressing me out. My cousin has been my life long best friend but lives so far away and has so many things going on in her life so I feel like she wouldn't be able to be as involved in helping out... which I need. She's really not in a healthy position in her life for me to feel comfortable asking help with anything really. Then there is my sister, who I've had many issues with throughout my life, but who so badly wants to be involved in the wedding and would be really good at helping out since she lives closer and loves doing these types of things. Also, I know if I don't pick my sister there will be so much drama, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I am in such a pickle... please give me positive advice!

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Erin Wood, on March 22, 2017 at 11:33 PM

Master April 2017
Bemyguest · on March 22, 2017 at 11:19 PM
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The good news is you can wait 3-4 months and reevaluate your relationships and their statuses then.
Also they don't have to do anything but show up on time in a dress of your choosing.
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Expert October 2017
RosieOutlook · on March 22, 2017 at 11:20 PM
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You need a wedding planner, not friends serving as your employees for the next year.
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Master October 2017
RealLindseyO · on March 22, 2017 at 11:20 PM
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No one needs to help you plan your wedding except the person you're marrying.
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Super October 2018
FutureMrsComo · on March 22, 2017 at 11:21 PM
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It's too early to pick them, wait a few months. Exactly what are they supposed to be "helping out" with? How will there be drama? They literally buy a dress and then stand by you for 30 minutes. How can that be dramatic?
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Devoted October 2017
HappilyHauser · on March 22, 2017 at 11:25 PM
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I know everyone says that they aren't required to do anything but show up, and true they aren't "required" to, but it's so nice to have people you can count on and that really want to help. It makes it much more enjoyable. I would definitely recommend waiting a little to make a decision. You never know, things may change between you all. Another option is to not have a maid of honor. Just have them both be bridesmaids. That's what I did, everyone's happy!
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Dedicated September 2017
Krissy · on March 22, 2017 at 11:28 PM
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I have a best friend, whom I've been best friends with since we were 8 (so 18 years now) and I basically consider her a sister. Then I have a sister who is only 15 months older than me and we're very close. Like you, I couldn't imagine choosing one of them to be my maid of honor, so I didn't! I chose both of them. Is it traditional? Nope! Do I care? Nope! Not much of my wedding/planning has been traditional.
Really it came down to me deciding my relationship with both of them meant more to me than tradition!
Hope this *positive* message helps you out!
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VIP May 2017
Teri · on March 22, 2017 at 11:29 PM
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Why can't you have both as MOH
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VIP May 2018
hannnnahhhh · on March 22, 2017 at 11:29 PM
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I have both my sisters as MOH. Technically I guess I have a maid and a matron of honor. Could you do that? Or just have 2 maids of honor?
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VIP May 2017
Teri · on March 22, 2017 at 11:32 PM
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You can have both.
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Master July 2017
Erin Wood · on March 22, 2017 at 11:33 PM
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You should not base this on who can help you. Help yourself. It's not anyone's job to help you. Sorry. That's just rude.
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