Sister not able to make wedding! Should i postpone?

I wouldn’t move it, just because with her being in the Army there’s no guarantee she can make it next summer either. She could have another school, a training, a field problem, a deployment, etc. You wouldn’t know if her leave got approved until like 2-3 months before and even then leave can get cancelled. It sucks but unfortunately that’s the military for ya.

I personally wouldn't postpone. You've likely already been planning the wedding for your chosen date and many other people have set aside their plans on that date for you. That being said, I understand the importance of family and if you're really close it may feel strange to do it without her. In the end, if this is the date you want, I would stick with it. Unfortunately, people miss weddings sometimes- even the really important people in our lives. The two factors you should consider are whether your family's feelings matter more than the emotional, physical, and mental investment you've put into your current date, and whether or not they're paying for the wedding. If your family is contributing a lot financially it may be hard to go against their wishes.

Thanks for the input ladies! I mostly want to take my sister into consideration and not look like a jerk by not wanting to postpone. Annisa, my parents are paying for it, but they are of the opinion that I should mostly run the show myself, with their advice. I guess I am curious if you guys think it would be seen as "rude" by her/parents/other family members if I didn't postpone. I'm so torn between wanting my sister there and wanting to marry my future hubby this summer!

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That's a really good point, Caitlin. Most of my siblings and their spouses are in the Army so it's an ADVENTURE when planning family events

View Quoted Comment Oh, I see. Well I think it's great that they have more of a hands off approach, so you're very lucky in that regard and I'm happy that you can have the wedding you want.

I mean, you know your family best. I think they may be put off by it, or not understanding at first. But you planned so much of this for that date, it wouldn't really be feasible to reschedule as the other poster mentioned, because there's no guarantee she will be available next year. Also, if a lot of your family is in the military, they may be more understanding that life happens and unfortunately, part of the sacrifice of serving in the armed forces is missing these events.

I think your family and sister would come around eventually, based on what you've said. Maybe consider a special way of paying tribute to her at your wedding? Or when she is home/free, do a special activity with her and your hubby so she feels included?

Family is family, they may have differing opinions or drive us nuts, but in the end, families find their balance. You'll just have to find your "balance" by sticking to your guns, but also showing your appreciation for your sister.

I don’t know what you should do because it really depends on how close you are to your sister. If I was in your situation I would probably postpone it because my sister and I are VERY close and she is also my best friend (well, tied with FH, lol). But if it’s really important to you to get married soon then that’s what you should do! Especially because who know if you sis will actually even be able to come next summer. Btw I do think it’s pretty unfair that your family suggested that maybe you should elope so she doesn’t feel left out. They are basically suggesting that perhaps you should miss out on having a wedding because of your sister choose to be in the army?!

I'm so sorry. I feel the same way lately about my brother. My brother is in the marine. He was suppose to get deployed in January for 6 month and it keeps getting push back. He was most likely able to attend when I started planning. Now I don't think my little brother will be at my wedding. Its too late to postpone for me deposits are all put down. And my wedding is August 18. Part of me is still hoping he will be there. That would be a wonderful gift. But its all up to you. Follow your heart. Talk to your sister and fiancee. Honestly maybe there is a chance for her to be at your wedding but she would have to find out. If you don't want to postpone then don't. Your wedding is in 6 month. Follow your heart. Your sister should understand. Good luck. Congratulation.

Seeing my sister & I are very close I would postpone it however is there a way you can at least push it to the first weekend in September?

This depends on how important it is to have her there, my sister is my MOH and with her being in the navy I planned my entire wedding around her deployment schedule because I could not get married without her.

Have you booked a venue or anything else yet? Without a venue, you don't have a date, and many popular venues and vendors (caterers, photographers, esp!) will book up a year in advance. if you haven't booked anything yet, I'd postpone, if only to have a better choice of venues and vendors. (If you don't want to wait until next summer, have you considered a winter wedding?)
If you've already booked things, then you'd have to ask if your vendors would let you use the money you've already paid towards a later date. But, pp are right; even if you postpone there's no guarantee your sister would make it. So you have to decide what is most important to you. (In your situation, I'd probably try to plan a small, immediate family only ceremony with a restaurant reception before your sister leaves.)

I wouldn't postpone it. If she is in the Army who knows if she will be able to attend next summer. I went to a wedding where the brother was away due to being in the army but we made sure to have a chance for him to be included by facetiming him a through times throughout the night. It made the bride feel as if he was still sort of there with her.

I wouldn't postpone . I am in the same situation my brother is in the Navy initially I planned to get married last year but postponed because he was getting deployed. After postponing my wedding the deployment was delayed. It's hard because with the military they change things so frequently. I am getting married August 24 and he mostly likely won't be there because he is scheduled to be deployed . It's tough I feel your pain.

As far as everyone asking about vendors, I’m having family and friends do most of the “vending”. I’m getting married in my church, the pastor there is marrying me, and I’m doing all the food myself. The only thing I’ve really “booked” is the musicians for the ceremony. That, and I’ve told everyone who I’m asking to help with the wedding that it is August 11. So I’m not set on that date in contracts, mostly just mentally and socially. I can’t do it in September because of school schedule. I wanted to have it at the end of August because then I would have the whole summer to plan. What I think I’m going to do is try and get on the phone with my sister and ask her what she thinks I should do. She just got married herself three years ago and I think she’ll understand my dilemma. If she says that she really wanted to go to my wedding and will be disappointed if she can’t come, I’ll try to postpone. If she wants me to go ahead, I will, and I’ll try to FaceTime or include her in the ceremony like some people have said

OP, can you do it at Thanksgiving time or the holidays? Her command is more likely to give her leave for a family's wedding during that time; they'll probably be on some kind of holiday standdown themselves. It sounds like your sister is very important to you, I would try to include her if you can