Sister (moh) bringing baby to no children wedding

I wouldn't leave a 3 month old for a night, never mind a weekend. If you're not good with her bringing her baby, she may opt to stay home. She probably can't provide information because she doesn't know how her pregnancy will go and definitely doesn't know of the health of the baby.

In pandemic times, there's literally no way I'd show up with my baby, who is too young to have Covid vaccine.

I agree with Jacks and Gillian. A 3-month old is more susceptible to infection, and I would refrain from exposure to crowds. The baby will also be breast-feeding and need more care so I would extend some compassion. That said, the baby may sleep, cry, or need to be fed. Plus, Mom may need to leave early. If you feel the need to micromanage her steps, I would consider asking your sister to politely step down as MOH in consideration of her family's needs. You can give her a corsage.

I personally wouldn't be too upset. You will be too distracted with all the tasks and plans on the big day.

I am in a similar boat as you. I invited my co-worker to my wedding. The wedding was going to be children-free, but she is bringing her 7 years old, and will then be a 1-month-old infant to the wedding.

Her usual babysitter is also going to be going to a wedding, so the 7-year-old is coming. She is breastfeeding, so the infant is coming with her.

As for fishing the details out of her, you can kindly ask your sister if she needs a special seat (hightop) for her baby, or a chair at the dinner table removed, so the baby can sit in the scroller.

Ask her if you should help her find a sitter during the getting ready and ceremony because you would like her to enjoy her time with you and not get distracted (or if she would rather get ready on her own with the baby in her room...etc.)

Package it nicely - ask it in the way you are helping her getting the logistic right

Ya'll she's not mad or upset the baby is coming so stop coming at her for that.

I completely understand where you are coming from! I too am a planner and not knowing if a plan was set up would make me anxious too! But, you are so far out from your wedding, I would not stress yourself out with this yet!

As the wedding gets closer, and once the baby is here, first enjoy your new niece or nephew, and support your sister as she adjusts to being a mom of two! Then (I'd honestly wait till like a week or two before the wedding) when every ones adjusted with the new baby, you can ask what the plan is, if you should keep the adjoining rooms etc. Right now, your sister honestly probably doesn't even have a plan and thats OK, you guys have time!

Let this go for now, and just handle the things you can for now. All will work out in the way it's supposed to!

I think your best bet is to plan on anything baby-related being nailed down after the baby arrives (easier said than done, I know!). Things like whether your sister and her husband will be able to stand up with you/ your groom are probably things they won't know about until closer to the wedding. If you're cool with the baby being there, then the only thing that really needs to happen is to figure out how your sister needs/ wants to be accommodated (in my opinion, that's a lot easier and less of a headache than trying to tell her she can't bring the baby lol).

What you can do if you want to be proactive is make a list of things that could be impacted by the baby (the hotel room situation, whether your sister/ her husband will still be able to stand up with you, whether she'll need a private space to pump/ feed the baby during the reception, etc.), then write out the possible ways you can handle those things. I'm a planner too, and having everything written down and a list of possible options would definitely help me feel like I had a handle on things. You might even find that some things are already handled, like if your venue has a lactation room.

Down the road, you can phrase it like "hey sister, I'm working on finalizing X, and I wanted to know if you'd be comfortable with a, b, or c solution, or if there's something else that you'd prefer or think would work better!" People usually respond better to options than having to figure out a whole plan on their own. If you frame it as you wanting to help her (and maybe stagger when you ask about different things), I'm sure you'll be able to figure everything out!

Hi Aria,

I have found myself in nearly the exact same position that you are in. My relationship with my sister has been a little tense over the last year (she had a lot going on with breaking up from her partner whom she has a 5 year old son with ) my nephew is our page boy (I am based in the UK so not sure if that's a thing where you are) Anyway we had plans in place that my sister would stay over the night before the wedding with me to celebrate and so she is there to get hair and make up done at 7am and my parents would bring her son with them the wedding morning so he didn't get bored in the getting ready girly time. (they are all travelling over an hour to get to my house from where they live) Anyway fast forward to now and she is with a new partner since March (they got married last weekend and didn't invite anyone) and she is pregnant. New baby will be 6 months old at my wedding. I am happy for her as I can see that she is happy however trying to bring up the changes to the wedding plans have been difficult.

I went in with the whole making sure she would be comfortable and baby would be comfortable etc and really just wanted to talk transport as the transport I have booked last year doesn't include her new baby or new husband! I'm aware of her breastfeeding so wanted to see if she was comfortable with travelling separately and when / where she would be getting ready all of that stuff but I was met with her saying she isn't in the position to talk about my wedding right now.

I get there is still time to go however transports is booked, deposits paid etc. Her new husband I have only met once and until that time I didn't even know if he could drive or had a car so I didn't think my questions were unreasonable. I also tip toed around seating arrangements and if she is still happy to sit on the top table with me or would she prefer to be on a main table with husband and 2 children. I am yet to address the whole potential crying during vows and if her husband will be ok to take a seat near the back so he can nip out with baby if needs be.

I get that it's difficult, my parents however are of the understanding that it's my day and I need to do what I want. My partner has managed to convince me to just carry on as we are and that I have made her aware and tried to engage her in transport / seating arrangements and it will be up to them to sort themselves out on the day if they haven't given me the answers I want.

I hope it all works out for you. x

A nursing infant is widely considered to be an appropriate exception to a no child wedding and in any case OP is not saying the baby cannot be there.

OP, I think the offer of a sitter or baby nurse, or allowing her to bring one, not to the wedding itself, but to the location, would be extremely helpful in these circumstances. I would not count on the adjoining room scenario. Is there a bridal room?

Covid has mainly affected people over 60. Younger people have not been affected much by covid-19. So the baby is not expected to be at any heightened risk.

I do think it would be a bit much for both your sister and her spouse to be in the wedding party. It sort of depends who is at hand to keep the baby comforted during the ceremony. (A single baby crying during the vows ... well... that is life and not a big issue. The real problem is with older children that are not managed well and are running all over the place and at the wrong times.) If they work thought out among them and people like your mother, it should be manageable.