L
Just Said Yes October 2022

Sister in Law

Lindsey, on October 15, 2021 at 2:52 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 10
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So my husband and I have been planning our wedding for well over a year now thanks to covid hiccups, we finally selected a date and put the deposit down on a venue. Then the next day my sister in law announces she plans on getting married the day after us. Obviously this upset me. We calmly approached the situation and asked them to move the date. My mother in law sees nothing wrong with any of this. Am I over reacting or is this seriously messed up?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Susan, on October 18, 2021 at 12:41 PM
  • Ashley
    Savvy November 2022
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    I don't think that you're overreacting at all. Did she happen to know the time you guys were planning on having your wedding? Or at least the time of year?

    If they don't have a venue already, I don't see the issue with them changing the date.

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  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    If it were a few weeks or a month after, this wouldn't be an issue, but I do think the day after is too close. People will still be traveling home from yours. Are they the type to try and steal the spotlight? Or do you think this was just the only date they could get? Venues are very booked up now, so I would find out if they really didn't have another choice or if they did this on purpose.
    • Reply
  • S
    Expert September 2022
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    You are not overreacting at all and if you calmly spoke with them about it, like you said you did, then I think you handled it in the appropriate way. I'm assuming when you put the deposit down and locked in your date you told the important people (i.e. SIL and MIL), if so this is pretty inconsiderate of her.

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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag

    Have they already booked a place then I think it would be hard for them to change a date but if they didn't yet then there is no reason why they can't change the date, did they know your date beforehand

    • Reply
  • J
    January 1895
    Jessa ·
    • Flag

    I don't think you are over reacting. Maybe they have a reason. Do you have a lot of family that are coming from far away in which two trips would be impossible? Just trying to think of any reason this would be okay. I am usually on team you only have one day, but the next day seems crazy.

    Since there is nothing you can do about it....it may be very hard, but I would try to be as gracious as you can possibly be. She is going to look like the inappropriate one, don't let her goad you into sinking to her level.

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  • Ginny
    Beginner October 2021
    Ginny ·
    • Flag
    Wild. Had she already placed deposits? It could be a very unfortunate accident. Also, are both wedding occurring in the same city? If y’all are all getting married in the same town, then everyone is going to have a much better time at your wedding since they’ll be tired and hungover for hers. So while it sucks, you’ll get to have the full wedding experience and she doesn’t get to have a rehearsal dinner and other standard pre-wedding events since everyone will be at your wedding…
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Actually, it may be to ensure family members would already be in town and could attend BOTH. I think it’s practical. But if she had booked the day BEFORE yours I’d be pissed.
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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with this - IF THAT WAS THEIR REASONING. Otherwise, I see why you are upset.
    • Reply
  • JM Sunshine
    JM Sunshine ·
    • Flag
    This is a terrible situation. I do have a question. You just put down a deposit for a venue/date and VERY NEXT DAY SIL announces she is getting married day after you. Does that mean she already booked her venue/date prior or does she just think she wants to get married day after and hasn't actually reserved anything yet? If it's the latter then I completely agree that you have right to be upset.
    • Reply
  • Susan
    Devoted October 2021
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    I feel your pain. I posted about this issue before--my husband and I had to reschedule three times due to Covid, sent out Save the Dates six months in advance, let people know with plenty of notice, and then my cousin got engaged two months before our wedding and picked the day after ours to get married. I was livid, because it meant my dad wouldn't get to see his brother, which he was really looking forward to, and I was excited to have my family around for the first time in forever. Take a deep breath and try not to kill her. LOL Then throw an amazing wedding so hers pales in comparison. hehe

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