Sister in Law Ruining Wedding

“No” is a complete sentence. If she’s so terrified, she can stay at home. And how is her driving 5 hours to beg you in person any less dangerous than actually having a wedding? Your fiancé needs to shut his sister down right now. Be kind but firm - “we know you have concerns however we will not be cancelling or postponing our wedding. If you’re not comfortable attending, we will miss you.” Then next time she brings it up, say “this subject is not up for discussion” and change the subject when she circles back to it, hang up. The following time she calls, no warning - hang up when she starts in again. If she texts or emails about it, ignore them completely. And if she’s crazy enough to drive to you again, don’t let her into your house - yell through the door that you’re not having this conversation. Simply stop entertaining the discussion. She’s shown that you can’t calm or assuage her fears, to an insane point, so stop trying.

EDIT: you’re doing pretty much what Princess Beatrice did, except that she included her grandparents. If it’s good enough for royalty, who undoubtedly have the best medical advice possible available to them, it’s good enough for you!

What she said.

"No." It's a complete sentence.

If she does not want to come, "I'm sorry, we'll miss you. We understand."

But, honestly? She drove FIVE HOURS to come see you? Uh, that's super unsafe right now, and I think you have every right to say, "we are not confident in your ability to quarantine, we will see you after the vaccine comes out."

Oof. I think you're being very responsible with all the precautions you're taking. I myself have let my fear get the best of me at times just because there's so much going on in the world, BUT I think she's taking it to a whole. new. level. Whoa! I would agree with prior posters: try to calmly state that you'll be proceeding with x, y, and z precautions, and she's more than welcome to Skype in, and then shut the convo down if she continues to nag you guys. I think what she's done (driving 5 hours to beg you in person...uhh...doesn't that defeat the point?) is a little worrisome. Is she ok, like is there something else going on in her life that is exacerbating how she's feeling about this situation? (A rhetorical question, but just wondering out loud if other stuff could be affecting her reaction to the wedding)

Wow - she sounds......like a handful. Skype her in, whatever, but tell hr you respect her feelings on COVID 19, but "We are moving ahead with safety precautions and it sounds like we will miss you!"

She also sounds like a major control freak.

Good luck!

I agree that "NO" is the answer and she can stay at home in order to keep herself safe if she is so overly worried/panicked in regards to getting COVID 19.
If you have the option to where others can watch virtually then I would give her that as an option to "be there" without physically being there so she can feel and remain safe.

Glad she got the point! You go enjoy your big day girl!

Good for you! Exactly what needed to be done.

Good for you for standing your ground! If she continues, ignore her.

This almost sounds like an actual anxiety disorder. Because that is a VERY extreme outcome that she believes, and it seems like it is really consuming her life. She needs professional help.

OMG do we have the same sister-in-law?

It sounds like you are taking every possible precaution to ensure everyone's safety - with a two week quarantine and Covid test you should be able to celebrate like it's 2018! I would reiterate all of the precautions you are taking and emphasize that attendance is optional. Tell her that every adult invited to your wedding has the ability to decide for themselves if they want to commit to the expectations for the wedding and attend, and that she is free to skip the wedding if she doesn't feel safe.