Sister in law hates bridesmaids dress

I let my bridesmaids pick their style of dress. They had seven to choose from. Some were still not pleased. Therefore, it is your wedding, do what you want!

View Quoted Comment Oh wow. Maybe I have a problem or blame it on me being a millennial. But I love it 🤕. I like the Instagram glam look. BUT I’m definitely going to read up on wedding etiquette! Bc im a little off. Lol

View Quoted Comment Okay. I am totally okay with that option. And I wouldn’t mind paying for alterations to make it longer. Thank you!!

View Quoted Comment Okay thank you. I have a perfect dress in mind. That way I can keep the same theme going. Thank you !

View Quoted Comment You're welcome! Update us with the new dress!

Honestly, as a plus size girl I would not wear either of those dresses. If I was asked to, I would step down. Neither are flattering or supportive at all. You would probably be better off letting your girls choose their own dresses, within certain criteria like brand, length and color.

View Quoted Comment If the gold dress was altered longer would it make u more comfortable? And I think I’m being stubborn bc they forced their way in the bridal party and now are complaining. I guess I’ll try to be more understanding 🤕

View Quoted Comment I personally would be more comfortable if the entire bottom was covered like the left half, instead of the half covered lace on the right.

View Quoted Comment I think it's definitely understandable being frustrated if you really didn't want them in the bridal party. Unfortunately, they are now.. But to keep the peace I would probably let them pick something else. As others have said you can totally pick the color, place to order etc and even give some guidelines and still give them a bit of freedom to find something that works for their body type.

Can they get their own dresses that are gold and sparkly? They’ll know best what they are comfortable in. Have them text you pics of the dresses before they buy them. Do you have other bridesmaids? They could wear the one you picked, with the FSILs in something similar

I think you should give them an alternative to it. Not everyone is comfortable with being sexy. OR let them do stuff to it such as wearing a jacket over it or something.

I get that you want your girls to look "sexy" but you also have to consider how they like to dress. I am plus size and would never wear either of those dresses! They are way to form fitting and will show every love handle, fat roll, you name it. I would not feel comfortable and would say I hated it too. I am letting my girls pick their dresses. I told them they need to be a specific color and length but from there they have free range so they feel comfortable. You should really take that into consideration. I get that its your day, but you also should not want you BP to feel uncomfortable.

I'm 5'8" and 115 pounds and I wouldn't even feel comfortable in those dresses as a bridesmaid. You bridesmaids don't need to be a reflection of you, they aren't props.

I had another idea for it. Would you be ok with them having the straps pulled up into cap sleeves instead of off the shoulder? Busty ladies will be fussing with their sleeves all night if there’s no bust support. I think a thick cap sleeve would still match the dress, provide support and coverage for your girls and combined with the longer skirt(satin not just the lace) you would have a conservative version of the same dress. I think you would have a beautiful cohesive look for your whole bridal party.

The sexiest thing a woman can do is dress their bodies 1) in something they love and will exude confidence in and 2) pick flattering silhouettes for their shape.

Not for anything, I am a pretty small human and while I might *look* nice in either of those dresses, I would want be incredibly self conscious and uncomfortable and it would show. Thus, I would not be very confident and confidence is the sexiest accessory you can wear.

I think you should see what they're thinking and work with them a little. You still get to approve whatever it ends up being.

1.) you pick whoever you want to be your BM. There aren’t any rules on who can be asked. That said, if you already picked them, you shouldn’t ask them to step down unless they’re not being a good friend (not getting along with other bridesmaids/causing drama and in turn stressing you out, not being there for you (within reason), or any other big reason why someone may stop being friends with someone. If you ask someone to step down, you better be ready to explain this to a lot of people, including that person, other bridesmaids, and in this case your FH.
2.) you pick the dresses you want them to wear. That’s part of being a bridesmaid that everyone who accepts to be a bridesmaid should understand. On the other hand, you need to understand that budget and feeling self conscious in a dress are major concerns for most Bridesmaids. If you’re set on this dress, would you be ok if this Bridesmaid adds a matching wrap or bolero? I think the gold one is much more figure flattering for more body shapes than the blue one.

3.) As someone who has hypothyroidism, and before being diagnosed gained a lot of weight, so have lots of extra lumps that are still going down/toning up over the past couple of years, a good set of shape wear is a major confidence booster. Most are actually very comfortable, and help with other plus sized women issues like leg chafing, etc. Dominique makes a really nice low back longline bra that helps shape the waist, and hold the girls up. I am wearing that with a high waisted tummy/thigh/butt shaper by either Maidenform or Rago. It helps smooth me out, flattens my tummy a little, lifts my butt, and gives me a beautiful retro hourglass figure, and I’m actually very pear shaped. It is also very comfortable. properly fitted shape wear won’t be too hard to get on, and won’t feel constructive anywhere. Maybe try asking your FH’s sister if she’s tried different types of undergarments with the dress you picked to see if anything helps her feel more comfortable in the dress. If she says no, offer to go with underwear shopping with her, and bring the dress along. You can say you need something for undergarments too, so you could make it a girls day, just the two of you!

4.) ultimately, if she flat out won’t buy the dress, and your heart is set on that dress, then you have every right to say “it is what you’re asking everyone to wear, and telling one BM they can wear a different dress, and not let anyone else pick a different dress, wouldn’t be fair.” You can then ask if she would be more comfortable taking on another roll at the wedding like doing a reading during the ceremony, and/or hand out programs. From there the choice is hers, and that takes any backlash away from you.

5.) another alternative is to let each girl pick a different dress in the color of your choice. Word of the wise: don’t tell them they can go anywhere. Pick one specific shop where they need to order from. Select a handful of dresses yourself that they can choose from. Tell them they have to get measured, leave a deposit (enough to cover the cost of one dress to order), and have until X date to pick their dress. If they don’t, a dress of your choice will be chosen for them. I tried telling my girls to wear whatever they wanted from wherever they wanted, just in the dress length and color family of my choice, but it was a huge headache, and actually lost two bridesmaids because of it!! Go figure!

If they are forcing their way in and were not actually chosen I would def say that this is what you chose, you purposefully chose girls who would be okay with that and that it's your wedding and this is what you want. I play that card with my brother. The "It's my day, a simple tux and just an hour or two for the ceremony and pictures. Why can't you do that for me?"

If they put themselves in as bridesmaids.. then they have to be okay with what you put them in. If they weren't originally in the group then I would try to tell them nicely that you would like everyone to wear the same dress, and that your open to suggestions. I'm letting my girls wear whatever dress they want as long as it is the same color and length, but it's your wedding.

View Quoted Comment That’s exactly how I feel. If you were self conscious about yourself and you know I’m known to be sexy and I been saying my bridesmaids will dress sexy why would u force to be apart of it. It’s not fair I have to change things up for them.

I don't have a comment on the dresses, just the choice of bridesmaids.

I originally wanted my three brothers to be my FH's groomsmen (along with his own brother and best friend). When I told FH my idea, he immediately and kindly said no. As much as he loves my brothers, he did not want them standing by his side, he thought it felt like a shotgun wedding lol. I completely respected his decision and thought of other ways to include my brothers on my side or doing other parts of the ceremony.

If you don't want his sisters as bridesmaids, respectfully say no. It's unfair to you for them to take the place of your friends in the bridal party. If he wants them to be part of it, he can have them stand with him, or do a reading or something.