SIster in Law Flower Girl Etiquette

Stick to your guns, they seem a bit too young to me. Perhaps show them this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_gEiKl8JD3Y

Hold up. How does she have two kids 7 months apart?

PS - You're in the right. You have to decide what's best for your wedding. We are having about 10 kids come and I love them all. I just don't want them all walking down the aisle screaming.

Thanks for the video! That is exactly the type of situation I am trying to avoid!

My mistake about the ages! Typo, one will be 14 months and the other will be 2.5 yr old.

Ah...now it makes sense! Either way, I would just let her know that you'll be happy to have them as guests (if you are) but that you want only the oldest girl as a FG as she can understand the role better.

14 months and 2.5 years old! That's too young! I agree with Carrie. Stick to your guns. Don't let her manipulate you into having all of her children in the wedding. Let her be mad. Eventually, she will get over it.

One of our groomsmen and his wife recently adopted twins (boy and girl) When we get married in December, they will be 15 months old. They asked if they could be in the wedding (yes I know) Before FH could say anything I told them they would be too young and could not be in the wedding. They are upset, and he constantly talks to FH about it, but I made it very clear to them and to FH, they will NOT be in the wedding.

The problem is that she doesn't understand at all. She thinks her other 2 kids should be in the wedding bc all but the 2 are in it now. And she is trying to get in between my fiancé and I. She talks to him about it all the time and asked me point blank " does my brother agree with you?" We are going to visit (they live out of state) for her delivery (that's right the 3 child is not even born yet!), and it is going to be so uncomfortable bc my fiances parents want all 3 girls as flower girls too.

I would stick to your guns... it is rude of her to expect all of her kids to be in the wedding. We had my 20 month old daughter and our 3 year old nephew in our wedding party, and that was plenty! Just tell her you are having ____ as the flower girl and that is it. She may choose to pull her daughter from the wedding (if she is a childish person) so just be ready for that but still stick to your guns. Once you let people get the better of you then they will never stop trying!

I would stick to your guns.. This is your wedding and if you don't want all three to be the flower girls then you don't have too.. Better explain that right now to her.. Also talk to hubby and see how he feels..

It's not her decision, its your's and your FH. So first, you may want to talk to FH and see how he feels about the situation. If he agrees with you, I'd tell her that the two additional children do not fit into your vision of your wedding day and that she'll need to make alternate arrangements for them during the ceremony since she and her husband are MOH and GM.

Thanks everyone! Now MOG called and FH has since decided he would like all 3 in the wedding. The plot thickens!

If its the MOG calling the shots, I would def stick to your guns... lol, but that may just be me, I don't like being told what to do, these people are making this a waaaayyy bigger problem then it should be!!!! We have 2 nephews (4 & 3) and 1 niece (3) we had my daughter fg and only 1 of the nephews as a RB, we didn't get any slack for it because it was our decision, I hate that people think it is ok to meddle in things that are none of their business

How you stand now, will be indicative of how you stand during this marriage. You HAVE to let these 2 women know, they are not running your wedding/marriage. They are not decision makers in your life.

Also, you have to make it clear to FH, that when you two make a decision he CANNOT allow his mother and sister a vote in the matter. Be ready to stand firm.

However, should you conceded, you will never have a say in what goes on in your home, family and marriage. I have seen too often where pushy in-laws cause EVERY problem in a marriage.

Heck no! It is rude to assume that your child is going to be in the wedding. My FH was supposed to tell his brother that we wanted his son to be our RB. I just found out this weekend that FBIL still did not know I wanted his kid! Lol. He didn't know until I told him I found a vest and tie in his kids size..he was like he has to wear a tie? I said umm yeah if hes going to walk down the aisle I would like for him to match the rest of the guys. To us though it was a no brainer. His son would be ring bearer and my MOH daughter would be flower girl.

That's way to many little ones for one wedding! Definitely stick to your guns and keep with your original plans! I agree with Forever, don't let the in-laws start being pushy now or it will only get worse and FH has to back your play - you're a team now and he can't let other people undermine your decisions!

They are acting like bullies and not grown women. FH keeps saying that we can have what I want but he would like them to all be flower girls. I don't know how to be fair to him but stick to my guns. Am I a bad bride now to tell him no? Even though he agreed with me before the bullying!?

If they HAVE to all be flower girls, I plan to tell her that she is no longer my MOH, for causing so much stress as opposed to helping me.

We are having 5 year old and 21 month old... they are sister. and my cousins.

I'm so glad I don't have this problem. I have two FGs one is my 4 yr old step daughter and the other is my niece's 4 yr old daughter. My niece also has a 2 yr old daughter but is not at all concerned that her 2 yr old is not a FG which if the situation should arise I wouldn't have any problem including her cause I love her to death. I have my own unique nickname that I call all three girls.

This is one of the many reasons we have decided not to have a FG or RB at our wedding. My FBIL's wife is disappointed, obvious to everyone since she keeps suggesting the FG/RB thing to us, but it's not really up to her.

I think if it comes down to really choosing, I would decide just not to have any children in the wedding at all. (But then again, that's my choice anyway).

But did you show him this video?

Also, just curious, how did HIS sister become your MOH? No sisters or BFFs? Just seems like his family is taking over your wedding a bit. I agree - three children in the wedding to manage seems like a bit much for the MOH with all of her other duties.