Sister decided to interrupt my wedding plans by getting married herself

I honestly couldn't get through everything you wrote, but I'll simply say, you get one day and she does too. Let it go. It's not worth the stress and drama to give it another thought, except to say "congratulations".

I understand why you're upset, and obviously I dont know your family dynamics but it seems kind of petty to ban your sister from your wedding for this. I think a month and a half difference in wedding dates is fine. It's not like she chose your date.

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Your sister isn’t even engaged. Just wait and see what happens. If she does get engaged and gets married 45 days before you I wouldn’t worry about it. The important thing is getting married. Even if she is trying to upstage you, her boy still has to jump into the upstaging.

As for the budget, don’t count on anything until it’s in your bank account.

Good luck. Life is too short to worry about others.

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Thank you for your input but there is drama and it does need to be dealt with letting it go is not really an option and if she continues to get away with this pattern of behavior she is going to end up ostracizing my whole family. I'd rather deal with this now than have my family push her away for walking all over everyone as she does.

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He has already asked my father for his blessing and is picking out a ring. He didn't just join the upstaging he made it worse.

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I don't really know what else to do but ban her. I would like another option but I'm not willing to be walked all over by her especially with this.

A month and a half is very close together and it is financially straining my parents for a boy she barely even knows. No she didn't choose my date but now she has made my wedding seem insignificant to everyone else by demanding all the attention for hers.

I really do not know what else to do.

Agree with pps. Also, if she's not even engaged yet, but planning a wedding 6 weeks ahead of yours, based on your date, that would be May '19? Depending on where you are located, 6 months might not be enough time to plan the "spectacular" you think she's got in mind. Not a lot of great venues are going to be available in May '19 at this relatively late date. I totally understand why this would be upsetting, but would think that there is a LOT that can change her plans in the next couple of months and even if her wedding happens on the proposed timeline, all you can really do is roll with it. Unless there is some kind of crazy history between the two of you, it does seem petty to "ban" her from your wedding. Be the more mature sister. Wish her well, be supportive, and continue to plan your wedding. There's not much good that come from asking you parents and/or others to "choose" one child over the other.

View Quoted Comment Made it worse by wanting to marry your sister? How dare he!? /s

You sound extremely jealous (not sure why, you're re both getting married) and it's not a good look. Be happy for you sister in this happy time and enjoy planning your own wedding so well. Multiple happy events is a good thing!

Be like Elsa and Let It Go.

So what outcome would make you happy? For her to say never mind I don't want to get married because it upsets you? I suppose she could change her date so its farther away from yours but it seems like that wouldn't even solve all the issues you have with her. I can see the extended family problem, so maybe you can talk to her and calmly explain and see if she'd be open to something like a fall wedding. If she isnt even engaged yet that date isnt set in stone. It's been said already but "banning" her will solve nothing, it just creates more drama and quite frankly makes you look immature. Also, stop complaining about your parents money. They owe you literally nothing and you should be grateful for any amount they choose to give you.

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I couldn't even begin to get into the crazy history but suffice it to say there is a lot (15 years worth). I haven't asked anyone to choose between us but I have told my parents she isn't allowed at my wedding. Thanks for the advice.

I understand why you may be stressed about this. But in the end...she gets one day. You get one day. No one will ne as excited about your wedding as you. What your parents decide to do with their money is their choice. You cant count on any money until its in your account or the balances are paid. As for her only knowing the guy for a short period, it's not for you to judge how soon they get married. Some people just know after a very short period of time. Honestly, I knew I would marry my FH after about a month. But we dated for over 3 years before getting engaged, and have been engaged for almost 2 now. We just weren't ready to get married at that point, so early, but I knew and after about a year he knew too. Some couples just know and dont want to wait. Could it end up not lasting, sure, but you never know. Remember, if you ban her from your wedding, you risk losing her as a sister. She may never speak with you again. Are you okay with this possibility? I think you need to just let her do her thing, while you continue planning your wedding. It will still be beautiful and in the end it's the fact your marrying your FH that matters the most.

"Siblings should not have their weddings close together at all. I have tried to explain things to her but she won't listen. My parents are trying to be supportive of her despite everything and do not see my concerns as valid or simply dismiss them while trying to support her." There is no rule that siblings cannot get married in a short period of time, and she is not choosing the week before or after. Your parents, like most everyone else, know this, and likely that is why they dismiss you complaints. People marry when it is right for both of their lives. And if your family actually loves you, there is enough love to go around, you are not getting shortchanged. Though if your family hears you are banning your sister from your wedding because you are self-involved enough to want all the attention, they may be so appalled that they do skip your wedding, because they think you are behaving badly. And go to hers, because there is nothing wrong with what she is doing. And your attitude, and the way you are treating your sister, anyone I know would think wrong, too. Love and sharing go together. Selfishness is dysfunctional. In trying to have everything, a person can lose the respect of all their family and friends. Is that what you want?

View Quoted Comment How horrible. You're effectively making your parents pick between their children. And with the way your acting, you might not come on top of that choice...

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I have tried to talk to her and even though she isn't even engaged yet she is acting as if the date they have chosen is set in stone. She and I may have issues but we were working on them up to this point and were in a very good place until now.

My parents do owe me nothing and I did not even ask them to pay for my wedding they offered. Then my sister decided to get married and did demand they pay for it. I hate seeing my parents stress because my sister is telling them they have to pay for hers as well now.

View Quoted Comment You can only control your behavior. Don't try to make others do what you want. If your family decides to push her out because they are tired of her actions, so be it. Hopefully she'll learn and apologize, but you can't force it.

My advice stands. Let it go. If she gets engaged/married tell her congratulations. Don't feed the drama monster.

Please reconsider. And please be certain, that I anyone hears about this, they will think less of you.

... is this a real issue or am I being duped?

My brother and I are each getting married a month and a half apart. My FH and I decided years ago we’d get married Fall 2019 (before we were even engaged), and my whole family was aware of that general plan. My brother has been with his fiancée a couple years longer than I have been with mine, so not the exact situation as yours, but similar. Anyway, my brother proposed this past Spring and they set their date for August 2019. I could have chosen to get upset after all this time that he decided to propose and have his wedding so close to mine even though he knew our plan, but I figure it doesn’t matter. I’m not changing my plan because of his and he shouldn’t change his plan because of mine. I think it’s all in the attitude. We are genuinely happy for each other, looking forward to celebrating each other’s marriages, and are making sure to not overlap dates for anything. That’s it.

I guess my point is, it’s your choice to get upset about this. There’s no reason you can’t both have a wedding in the same few months. You can just let it go and try to enjoy an exciting year for both you and your sister. You’re only hurting yourself by being angry.

A month and a half between your weddings is FAR more than enough time. If I were you, I wouldn't share your thoughts on your sister's date, your parents funding of the wedding or guests choosing which to attend with anyone. You will come across as petty and immature. I'm guessing you're young - hopefully at some point when you realize your overreaction to this situation, your sister and parents will forgive you.

So unfortunately you get 1 day for a wedding. If they hardly know eachother they may break up before that. They may not get a venue that day. She may be trying to upstage you but I do not see how you banning her from your wedding will help your parents financially. If they need to they may need to tell her to move her wedding farther from yours. But banning your sister is not going to help any strain with the family it will just make it worse.