Just Said Yes May 2022

Sister , Bridemaids and Alcoholism

Natasha, on June 11, 2021 at 8:29 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
Hello Everyone,

Quick question for y’all. I am getting married in May 2022 and I would like your input in this situation. My sister is a bridesmaid (my initial plan wasn’t to include her however my fiancé thought it was a good idea). We are cordially and friendly to each other but we are two separate walks of life. Long story short, I am planning the bachelorette party or at least trying to gather a good group right now.
I don’t want to go on a 3 day drink binger however I do know that when she drinks. She isn’t fun. At all. She’s either falling asleep in public settings, runs off somewhere or starts an argument with anyone. This isn’t a one time thing - it has happened several times. I’d like to think I’m a very caring person but I wouldn’t want that stress on myself or anyone else (babysitting someone who gets inebriated). Is it rude of me to not invite her to the bachelorette?
P.S our wedding will be open bar and I will cap her to a max of 3 drinks. Her and her plus one 🥴
Thanks Tash


Latest activity by Vicky, on July 19, 2021 at 3:17 PM
  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag

    Have you talked to her about her drinking issue? It would be rude to ask her to be a bridesmaid and then not invite invite her to all the events.

    Honestly she's a grown adult, if she gets to be too much throw her in an uber and send her home.

    • Reply
  • A
    Expert June 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    Hmm this is a tough one. Would it be at all possible to invite her to the bachelorette and implement a plan to cut her off / call an Uber or Lyft if she gets out of hand? I would definitely second AJ's recommendation for an open, honest convo with her to discuss your concerns and (hopefully) come to a mutually-agreeable solution.

    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Expert September 2022
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this. Sounds like sister has a drinking problem, but it's not really your job to babysit her.

    If you can find someone willing to keep an eye on her that night that might be best, but rather than doing a 3 day bach weekend you could just do a night out on the town. Then you're not having to keep track of her the whole time.

    • Reply
  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
    • Flag

    A conversation needs to be had if her drinking really is that out of control. Not just for your bachelorette and wedding's sake, but also for your family and HER health and safety.

    It isn't your job to hold her hand and babysit her, so having someone designated to keep track of her might be a good idea on the bach trip. I do agree with AJ that if she's in the bridal party, she should really get an invite to the trip. There's Ubers and Lyfts for a reason lol, so if she gets too out of hand, put her in one and have someone accompany her to make sure she gets back safe and sound.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with this. She is a full grown adult and apart of the wedding party. She should be allowed to come at all the events. Honestly I'd have a conversation with her about it and see where it goes from there. She might be very pissed to find out at your wedding she and her significant other are the only ones cut off after 3 drinks. That could start something with her at the wedding. I'd at least give her a heads up or something.
    • Reply
  • Lunajay
    Super August 2022
    Lunajay ·
    • Flag

    I say talk to her and let her know... read her, her right if you have too because I know none of us want to deal with that drunk sibling. And the fact that you have to deal with her on the wedding day is more reason to talk to her.

    • Reply
  • Natasha
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Natasha ·
    • Flag

    So Ive tried talking to her several times in the past, and she gets super defensive. Long story short, I attempted to talk with her again yesterday and it was a No-Go! I told her I need to create boundaries for her sake and mine and she will not be a bridesmaid. She told me, "send me pictures, because I am not coming!". I need only positive vibes and energy at my wedding. Its unfortunate my only sibling had to get the cut but the show must go on. I told her, she is more than welcomed to be a guest but thats about it


    Thanks everyone for your input

    • Reply
  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    You kicked your sister out of your wedding? Because you don't like how she acts when she drinks?

    • Reply

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