Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

J
Just Said Yes March 2024

sil drama

Jess, on January 20, 2025 at 1:51 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6
My fiance and I have been together for 3 years. He’s very close with his little sister who’s planning to get married in 2025. A few months ago, his sister asked her brother (my fiance’) to stand up with her as a Bridesman on her wedding day: I was very excited for him, as I know his sister means a lot to him. A few weeks ago, I went on her wedding website and noticed my fiancés ex girlfriend is also standing up in her wedding. His ex and him dated back in high school and is now married to someone else. However, I feel completely blindsided and uncomfortable about the entire situation. I feel as your future SIL, a conversation should’ve occurred with some sort of warning. I would’ve sucked up how uncomfortable the day is going to be knowing my fiance will be spending the day with his ex celebrating with the other people in the bridal party. Do I have a conversation with my fiancé’s sister letting her know how uncomfortable this situation is for me?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Janae, on January 31, 2025 at 6:49 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Are your SIL and his ex close friends? Also given the fact they dated at least 3+ years ago and she's married to someone else I don't think you have anything to worry about. I also don't think SIL is required to run anything by you for her wedding. It's her friend and if ex is one of her close friends then it only makes sense that she'd be included in the bridal party. Now if they weren't close friends then I could see how it could be unexpected, but again she's still not required to ask you permission for who is in her bridal party.

    • Reply
  • LM
    Super December 2022
    LM ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    No, the Bride doesn't need your permission. I would not talk to her about this unless you want to look like the suspicious, jealous, "potential" in-law (just a reminder, you're not married yet). Most likely, your partner will be getting ready with the groom as it's more comfortable than getting ready with dressing women. Or you two can both decide to get ready together and he join his sister closer to time.

    • Reply
  • A
    Amy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Why is that uncomfortable for you? She's married. You are the one he is engaged to.

    Why are you making it weird?

    • Reply
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    They dated in high school and she’s now married. It sounds like they’ve both moved long past whatever relationship they had as children. Personally, I don’t think there is anything to worry about. I also agree with other posters that your future SIL is not required to run her bridal party choices by you. I can understand being uncomfortable if it was an ex-fiance who he was with right before you or something similar, but a high school ex is so far removed. Although I guess that depends on how long ago high school was for you two.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Savvy June 2025
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Hi Jess,
    I get how it puts you in an odd spot. I don’t have any info to fully advise however, I don’t think a conversation with her is needed. I think if you want to talk about it, talk to your fiance…I am not sure what boundaries (if any) you guys have when it comes to exes. I’m sure if this ex is someone the sister is close there’s already been discussions about her or boundaries set with exes/that sort of thing. But as far as a convo with the bride I wouldn’t. She’s probably not even thinking about something like that or didn’t think it mattered. But if it’s been a thing, I would get how you’d feel blindsided…just be kind, try not to think about it & even make an effort to say hi! She’s married, don’t assume the worst! You’ll have a fun night supporting his sister & dancing with your fiance 😊
    • Reply
  • Janae
    Devoted September 2021
    Janae ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Ugh, this stinks, but I agree with above! Trust your man and let his sister have her day.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics