sil doesn't want to be a bridesmaid

It might be best not to force her onto an uncomfortable situation, no matter how well intentioned you are.

If she wants, maybe she can stand on his side? Wearing a pantsuit of course. Also? She can be a BM and not wear the dress, too.

If she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid then that's her decision to make. Let her know that you respect her decision and understand if it makes her feel too uncomfortable to stand with you. Nobody else is going to notice

If she's talking about how nervous it would make her, I would let her off the hook. I know you'd love for all your immediate family members to be with you, but if it makes her uncomfortable, you need to let her know that her feelings are validated and though you would be honored to have her up there with you, you respect her decision not to.

Hi there, I am in a similar situation. 3 sisters, 3 friends all in the wedding. My fiance's brothers are also in the wedding. His sister was invited to be a bridesmaid, but she graciously declined. She is acting in a bridesmaid way with helping with all the planning and such, she just didn't want the title or to walk down the aisle. It's totally fine and when folks have approached either of us looking for a scandal, we have both stated that there was nothing to tell, she didn't feel comfortable wearing a bridesmaids dress, but is still very much involved in her own way.

So don't worry how it looks. If she is happy with not being in it (it seems it's her wish) then it's totally fine.

If she doesn't want to, why make her? I wouldn't want to have to bully someone into standing with me, and if she'll be happier as a guest then let her be a guest.

Would she be more comfortable wearing a suit? If so, there's nothing wrong with giving her that option. If she just doesn't want to it, she doesn't have to. Maybe you can find another role for her to play on the wedding day and include her in activities prior to the wedding.

If I were you, I'd just say I'm good with whatever SHE wants. If someone says they don't want to do something, take them at their word.... Don't try and come up with an alternative or convince them; just say, "okay, I understand." If someone attending thinks it's "weird," that's on them.

Thanks everyone for your replies! I think she's going to want to wear a dress, which is why I even really asked! She never asked me what kind of dresses I want the bridesmaids to wear - if she had asked and I demanded something totally out of her comfort zone then I would understand, but I'm honestly very chill and am totally happy as long as everyone else is happy. I guess its just like, if she's going to wear a dress, I would really love for her to blend in with the wedding photos and everything. I guess I just also don't want it to look like I'm purposely excluding her to our guests or anything, especially since I'll have so many bridesmaids and she is my fiance's only sibling.

I definitely would never force her, I guess I'm just sad because I feel like I've been super accommodating and I'm honestly not asking for ANYTHING from my bridesmaids in terms of help. My best friends are planning a small shower for me because they're sweet, but I honestly would be fine without and they know that. I don't think she really wants to help with anything, especially because she's a few years younger and I know she's really busy and probably feels a little like the odd one out since I have my sisters, my group of friends, and then her. I personally think she's going to get looked at more if she is in a completely different dress but still in all of the bridal party photos (because I still want her to be in them, considering she will be my sister in law and we do get along) but! It's really not a big deal and I know won't end up mattering as much as I think it does.

If she doesn't want to be, don't make her. Being uneven is fine.

If she is willing to be included in the day you could invite her to escort an older family member down the aisle.

Respect her wishes

If she doesn't want to be then don't try to force her. Let her be a guest and enjoy the day.

She wouldn't have said anything if this wasn't a big problem. I would talk with her, but ultimately respect her wishes.

The best thing you can do is respect her feelings. you offered, she declined, for whatever the reason may be.

i wouldnt worry too much about people noticing. it definitely wont be weird. there's really nothing you can do about her declining to do it, its her choice.