SIL devastated she is not a bridesmaid.....

Everyone is going to tell you it's too early to pick BP because relationships change. Honestly I wouldn't reply.

If you ask her now, it would seem like she guilted you into it. If she wasn't your first thought, I would just stand strong with you original party. Unless you really want to add her.

I literally just went through this same thing this morning except my bm was pushy as all he'll and honestly I wish I didn't pick my bms yet but I already did and im reconsidering the pushy one now.

I don't know what I would do, and this is why I'm not asking mine for a while.

FH's sister was livid when she found out she wasn't going to be a bridesmaid. She didn't talk to me for a few weeks and told FH she hated me. I felt like an awful person and it sucks knowing you unintentionally hurt someone feelings. I think the best way to respond is to tell her it doesn't mean you don't love her or value your relationship. You can't put every close friend or family member in your wedding party and that sucks and she might be disappointed for a while, but in the end she'll still be there for your special day and I'm assuming you'll invite her to other events like your bridal shower and that'll be nice.

Nikol what would be an appropriate time to start doing bms so I can give future advice for friends.

Holy early! You asked your bridesmaids 2+ years before the wedding? What happens when your relationships change? Stick around and you will see this happens often. Once you ask you cannot take it back.

9 months before the wedding. That is when you ask. A year max.

ETA... can't count. Still too early. Lol

How the hell is it almost 2017??

I was going to say 8 months to a year before the wedding.

@lauren thank you so much for the advice. This is why I hadn't asked everyone yet because I know relationships change. I just thought it was so rude to ask why she isn't a bridesmaid and I definitely don't want to add her out of guilt that's not fair to us both.

This why I'm not having a bridal party. I don't have time for people's feelings getting caught up in my day. Ugh

I asked 18 months before the wedding for FHs 2 sisters to be bridesmaids and I almost regret it. It seems like they don't care and in the meantime, I became closer to 2 of my friends who I wish were the BMs instead. That's why it's always advised to wait a little later.

I would ignore it. Sometimes the less said the better

I'm sure you don't want to have conflict with you SIL, so I would just be up front and tell her you are sorry and that you didn't mean to upset her.

It is wayyyyy too early to pick your bridal party. I wouldn't respond.

Just because she is going to be your SIL doesn't mean that you have to add her.

I did that. I asked FH's sister to be a bridesmaid because I felt like it would be rude of me not too.

Big mistake. She has zero interest. We had to buy her dress for her because she has no money, no job, nothing. All we needed her to do was literally go to David's bridal and get sized and we would call and pay. She didn't do that either. We had to drive 3 hrs, pick her up and take her. Then FH offered to pay for her makeup. She said she only wants it done if the girl is "good enough to do her make up because she doesn't want to lol like shit." So I had to send her the mua portfolio so she could approve. Then I have them free reign on their make up looks and such, and she send me a picture of what she wants and it's so dramatic, like I'm all for dramatic make up, but I just feel she is trying to out do me.