Significant Others when planning Guest Lists

I personally am never in favor of only inviting one half of a couple. Couples are a social unit and should be invited as such. I feel like there is wiggle room if the individual makes you fearful or something.

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t come to a wedding where my husband wasn’t invited. Personally, I would extend a plus one to anyone in a relationship/married

Do you have the space to invite them as a couple?

I went to my coworker’s wedding in which SOs were not invited and everyone left early to get back to their SOs (we also only knew each other, so once a couple left, the last few of us left as well). I definitely did not enjoy myself as much as I would have if my fiancé had been invited (and I would have stayed the entire night if he had been there). For those reasons (coupled with the fact that proper etiquette states you always keep social units together), we’re inviting SOs of the coworkers on our list.

Couples are social units and should always be invited to events as such.

I think it really depends on the dynamic of the group. I invited most people as couples, but for one instance my mom and I were part of a “mother-daughter book club” when I was in elementary school, and the group of friends of both the moms and the daughters stayed in touch and are still all really close. However we’ve literally NEVER done anything with families (so like, most of the “moms” are married but I’ve never even met their spouses and some of the “daughters” have SOs) but that’s just not the dynamic of that group. There were also 16 people invited from that group which was already more than a full table (12 ended up coming which was exactly 1 table and was perfect) but I was not about to invite all 16 people and their husbands and some boyfriends who ive never met, when the whole dynamic of the group was ALWAYS that it was just the women involved in it, and I knew they’d all have a fun time together and not need their SOs there. Literally not one person expressed a problem with it, and no one left early (about half of them actually stayed late and got drinks at the bar after!)


That’s a rare situation though, as a rule of thumb you should invite people’s SOs. But only YOU know the dynamics of your guests. If your group of coworkers is really tight and you think they’d have a blast together without their partners, maybe you don’t need to invite them. But I’d try to think of it realistically in terms of how YOU would feel if it was one of their weddings. Would you be disappointed if your FH wasn’t invited? If the answer is yes, or even “not sure,” invite their SOs.

If they are in a relationship, their sig other should be invited.

Agree with everyone that said invite the significant other

Yes, spouses and significant others should be invited

We made some personal rules about plus ones to help us out:

Married- definitely invite
Long-term relationship 1+ years- invite Dating less than a year and never met- nope! Unless they are traveling long distance then we’d consider on a case by case basis.

Definitely I think you should include their husbands. I was invited to a distant friends wedding (friend from college that moved) in NC - I live in NY - and my fiancé was not invited. She hadn't met him, but still, I was not able to travel and pay for a hotel room without him, so I didn't go. I sent a card, but wasn't able to travel and stay in a hotel in a city that ive never been to, by myself without my fiance.

View Quoted Comment Thank you everyone for your help! They have been added to the guest list! 😊

Totally understand, it is frustrating, but rule of thumb I’ve been following...
Spouses and S/O LIVING together = invite.
All others = no plus ones. Sorry to my single friends... but maybe they can meet at my wedding and catch a spark!Lol. Good luck. ❤️

This is an event where most come in couples, not a work event just for employees. Most people invite o ly coworkers they see socially outside of work, or have an exceptional bond with. So they are like social friends. If they have a SO, someone they are in a relationship with , by the time invitations are being addressed, around 3 months out, they need to be invited as a couple. They are a social unit. If they don't care, and say they would rather come alone, that is fine. But you cannot skip husband's or boyfriend's to keep num beers down. Single people with no SO relationship, need not be given a plus on, for a date. Otherwise, cut enough people off your list so you can invite those in a relationship as a couple.

Only the people involved can define whether or not they are a couple, a social unit, and thus invited together. It's not a matter of time, a ring, living together, having announced an engagement, or your having met one of them. If you're not sure if two people are a couple, ask one of them. If s/he says "Yes," invited them together by name. (This is not a plus-one.)

View Quoted Comment Yes! To exclude people not living together, who may have been together enough to be committed, & exclusive, is not considered polite. The only time limit on how long they have been together should be the traditional one: If they are together when you are getting invitations addressed to send. People cannot be expected to redo invitations, or rearrange seating, meals, counts, right up to the wedding, for new people starting to date. After that, hosts only need to issue new invitations if they forget someone.

For my wedding we included plus ones for people who were married or anyone we know is in a relationship, even if we have never met their significant other.

We decided on plus 1's by two things:

1) if we know their partner, they get a plus 1

2) If they will be uncomfortable NOT having their partner there, they get a plus 1. So if you know they go absolutely everywhere with their partner, they're going to expect a plus 1, or if they won't know anyone else, they should get a plus 1.

I invited 6 coworkers and only 1 got a plus 1 and they were all completely okay with that. It's your call and don't let anyone bully you into inviting people you don't know. If it's important to your coworker and they really want their spouse to be able to attend but didn't recieve a plus one, they'll ask if they can bring their spouse.

If someone is in an established, serious relationship their SO should be included, even if you have never met them. Its okay not to include the girlfriends/boyfriends of newly established couples (like if when you send out the STD the person is single but by the time you send out the invite they've just started seeing someone).

Since you're asking guests to come support your relationship, I think it's important to respect their relationships and invite them as a social unit.