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Marquita
Dedicated January 2020

Siblings in the wedding??

Marquita, on September 29, 2019 at 8:58 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 11
Hey y’all! So I have four siblings, two brothers two sisters. Different parents. So my fiancé and I are sponsoring our own wedding with little help from other parents just in case someone asks. My brothers are good on everything. Neither of my sisters have purchased their dresses and after the second deadline I just sent their (our) moms the link to purchase the dress on their own. Two weeks have gone by and they’re still not purchased. I’d gotten to a point I didn’t care when they got here as long as everything else was in order but now I’m at the point where I feel I’ll be saving money and time and stress by just not including them. I won’t have to pay for their makeup, accessories, gifts, etc. No I’m not super close to either of them but we’re not enemies either. Should I just tell them not to worry about it and just walk down the aisle with the rest of the family or still include them? They haven’t done much with anything and I get they have other things to focus on and this isn’t a priority which is why I want to take the responsibility off of them so it doesn’t stress me out when I have expectations from my sisters and they don’t meet those expectations. Again, both of my brothers are taken care of so they’ll still be in the wedding. What should I do or consider? Still let my sisters be in it or ask them to walk with the family?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Marquita, on October 4, 2019 at 9:00 AM
  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I would probably call them and find out what the problem is. If they don’t want to do it then let them off the hook but if that’s not it give them a deadline for getting their dresses.
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  • Marquita
    Dedicated January 2020
    Marquita ·
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    The problem is simply it’s not top of their list to get done and I’ve given them at least three deadlines. It takes about a month for them to come in and then they need to be altered. It can happen but what about when I need them to order shoes and other items?
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I think just setting expectations with them on timing for everything will tell you if they want to do it or not. You don’t need the stress with the holidays coming and s January wedding. Everyone will get more busy so they need to do it now 😊
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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    I would remove them. I did just that with my bridal party, and I feel like it was a great decision! I'm still good friends with everyone, but now I don't have an extra worrisome burden.

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  • Marquita
    Dedicated January 2020
    Marquita ·
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    Thank you! That’s exactly what I’ve been telling them all. With it being right after The Holidays I want it taken care of now.
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  • Marquita
    Dedicated January 2020
    Marquita ·
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    Lol thank you for that! I feel it’ll be easier on everyone and less responsibilities
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  • H
    Devoted November 2019
    Heather ·
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    I would give them a solid deadline for the dresses if they want to be in the wedding party but tell them that you are ok with whatever they choose. If you already asked them I wouldnt kick them out if you haven't given them a hard deadline. They might be really offended.
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  • Marquita
    Dedicated January 2020
    Marquita ·
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    I’ve given them 3 deadlines. How many more should I give? It’s time to purchase shoes now so they’ll need dresses and shoes. That’s when the seamstress can get started on dresses. I’ll pray about it again and see what happens.
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  • H
    Devoted November 2019
    Heather ·
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    Ok. I would tell them this is the final deadline and after that they will just have to come as guests because you dont have any more time to stall. Make it 1 week from now if you have to. Then it's their choice. I agree you shouldn't have to do that but at least they cant blame you or tell anyone that you kicked them out. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    I'd just leave it. If they don't have their dresses by the wedding, then they attend as guests. If they do, they are in the wedding party. You don't really even need to know until the day.

    Throwing someone out of the wedding party, by contrast, is often a relationship ending move. That seems pretty extreme for your own siblings.

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  • Marquita
    Dedicated January 2020
    Marquita ·
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    Thanks y’all! I told them not to worry about it and just help me when they can. Neither seem to be upset so 🤷🏾‍♀️
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