Siblings and wedding party

I feel like a lot of times people feel pressured that they need to include every single person in their wedding. That's not the case. I think just having them there as guests would be just fine.

My FH has his best man as his older brother. But his younger sister 13yo thought she could be my maid but I had to say no. Still she will walk the isle as the sister of the groom and take a sit at the fron next to the Gooms mother and father. She is pretty happy with that. So maybe just presenting them as family will be fine

You could think about having them do readings (if you'll have readings). I was also at a wedding where one of the sisters gave a toast in addition to the MOH and best man. Or if one or two wanted, they could give toasts at the rehearsal dinner if you don't want it at the reception. But I agree that I don't think you should stress too much about it. I'm sure they'll enjoy just being there!

Can you incorporate one or two of the older ones with a reading? or if they can sing..maybe a hymn?

or maybe just acknowledge during your ceremony that you both come from loving and supporting families and wouldn't be where you are today without them...We are doing something to this extent but worded better during the ceremony since we aren't doing anything in the ceremony that includes all the parents (like a unity candle), almost as another way of saying thank you and honoring them for raising us.

let us know what you decide. that is a ton of people to try to put into a wedding party- I was somehow able to manage getting all of our family into the BP and it was a struggle. 3 sisters and 2 brothers between us.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having them attend as guests. But if you would like for them to be involved, is it possible to split the cost of attire with the parents? Or as PP said you could have them do readings?

My Fiance has 3 siblings, a brother (26), two 21 year old sisters (twins) and then a SIL (his brothers wife) and I felt so pressured to have them all in the wedding. So all girls (twins and SIL) are 3 of my 5 bridesmaids and his Brother is a GM. I tell you now, it has been my most regretted wedding choice made to date. The 21 year olds dont honestly care about anything and nobody gets excited or wants to be involved. My sister is my MOH and she literally is the only person who wants to help and be involved and share the excitement. I wish I would have gone with advice I was given and picked only dear friends to be in the wedding rather than family, all for the sake of worrying that Id offend his family.

I feel the same way especially because of the age gap. My fiancé feels like if they aren't included they will be upset so he's adamant about at least the boys having a role. If we had them as ushers do they need a tux? That's what I was trying to avoid! I think there is far to many to find roles for every single one! Mind you I have a brother whom isn't in the wedding party and I'm not trying to include lol

My FH has 7 siblings as well and we're only having 3 of them in our wedding party. All the others will just be guests. Don't feel pressured to have any or all in your wedding party or ceremony.

Have the girls to do the guest book and program, the older one could be personal attendent, or perhaps a reading of some sort.

What is the financial responsibility of the groomsman that's different for the ushers? I'm confused about that because I would assume you'd want the ushers to dress well too.

No one really wants to be an usher. No one wants to mind the guest book table or hand out programs.

Teri, a personal attendant is the rudest role ever and no one should be asked to do that.

I am confused as well as what an usher would wear if they just wear suits or would need a tux. I always thought that was one of the roles as the groomsmen was to usher if that's what you wanted? Personally at the weddings ive been to in the past I was never escorted by an usher and I've been fine with that. My fiance is so set on having them involved I don't know what else they could do? With such a small wedding roles are limited.

Being a guest is a role.

My fiancé has two sisters and he knew from the beginning that there was no way I would have them in my wedding party. However my FMIL wanted them to be involved. We compromised, one is reading, and one is walking down the gifts (Catholic wedding). They're happy, I'm happy, FH is happy, but most importantly FMIL is happy *eyeroll*. Don't stress about making them part of the wedding. But to comment on a PP, having the brothers usher, and the sisters pass out programs is a good idea!

Don't do the personal attendant thing. I personally would take that as a slap in the face. It's essentially saying "I don't like you enough to be a bridesmaid, but I still want you to help with the wedding." That's a nah for me

You could have the girls hand out the bulletins or as guest book attendant!

My brother is going to be an usher. I am just having him wear dress pants, a button down shirt in a similar shade of purple as the wedding party, and a tie. My wedding is not going to be a formal event and why spend the money on a suit for a day?

@heaven no its not. Its her saying, "I want you to be involved, so I'm going to make sure that you are."

Like I was just told- someone has to be watching the wedding lol

My FH and I both have numerous siblings (he has 5 I have 3) and we are not giving them any roles. We tried to figure out how to incorporate them all without favoring any of them. It was stressful on us. Eventually we decided to not have them do anything and honestly they all are okay with just being guests! My brothers are even happy they don't! I would honestly check and see how they feel about it because if they don't mind being guests that would save you some stress!

I am one of 7 siblings, and my sisters (22 & 15) are going to be bridesmaids and my 4 brothers are probably going to be ushers. That being said, my FH has two sisters (24 and 22) that will not be part of the wedding party, but of course included in family pictures.

And if my brothers don't want to be ushers, or if we don't need ushers, they won't be in the official wedding party.

I think as long as you make the families feel included, you don't have to force the bridal party roles to make everyone fit!