Sibling wedding attire

There is no reason, never has been, why the guests or family must coordinate for photos, beyond the correct level of formality ( how formal, how casual). If they are under 10 -12, they should either choose from their closet, or pick new clothes, with their isial parental help. Older than that, it becomes more important that the choose to be a part of this special occasion by picking what to wear. Please, leave your family that independence to choose for themselves, rather than setting a bad example of manners for younger sibs, and your lack of good manners to older ones. A little gift of earrings would be nice. They do not dictate an outfit. I cannot imagine one of my 4 brothers or many cousins when ages -30 who would consider a gift of a specific tie, that he had to choose a set of clothes to go with, anything but the worst kind of gift. Why not stick with conventional etiquette here, and have no coordination from the Bride or Groom of family or guest clothing, beyond formality. Let people present their own dressed up selves with no supervision or suggestions. There is no reason for it. Tend to your own clothing, and Groom's.

Trust your guests to dress themselves. There is never any appropriate time to dictate/request what your guests wear.

I agree with others. Family shouldn't be required to match even if you were having a bridal party. We had a bridal party, but not all siblings were in the wedding. Those that weren't we didn't dictate what they wear. We also didn't try to tell our parents or anyone else what to wear. The most you can request is the type of type like formal or casual.

From your description they are the bridal party in everything but name. Why not just have them be a bridal party? Their presence is the only requirement and then it would be appropriate to ask them to coordinate. They don't even have to buy new outfits if you don't ask them to.

Unless they’re actually having them as part of the wedding, you really can’t “invite” them to wear coordinating colors. The ties & earrings will be nice. Only way you can ask them to wear a certain color or style is if THEY ask.

Hey Allison, I actually respectfully disagree with some/most of the prior posters. I would advise the following: you could ask them to be in your “minimony wedding party” or “minimony family party” or something like that. That way, they will feel more (formally) included. To me, it sounds like these family members would have been in your wedding party regardless, so while you may not want to dictate the exact outfit they wear, it sounds like they’ll want to OK their outfit by you anyway.
I think the matching jewelry/accessories is a wonderful idea!
I would call/text them individually (or send it via letter/package) and say something like “we would be so honored if you would help us celebrate our union on dd-mm-yyyy. We would have to have our ladies/gents in such-and-such color to help distinguish you as the guests of honor that you are!” Or something like that. I’m not great with cutesy wording, but I do absolutely understand the vibe you’re going for. At the time of my minimony (before the word minimony was a thing haha), I had asked my sister to be MOH (in general, I guess). I asked my BMs too (for my sequel wedding), but my sister was the only “attendant/guest of honor” of mine present for my minimony. So I’m just saying I don’t think it’d be too much to ask your siblings to wear a particular color. I wish you the best of luck!!!

Whew i don't have the energy to maje requests like that. I did tell my three guests to dress business casual and appropriate or they may be cropped from photos.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this statement, I think everyone else is blowing it out of proportion and making it bigger than what it is. If you want to suggest that they wear a certain color to distinguish them, then I don't see a problem with that. And at the end of the day, you know your guests more than anyone on this platform. Ignore the negativity or people saying you have bad etiquette, it's not their minimony. They can have an opinion but at the end of the day, they won't be a part of your special day. Goodluck with everything ❤️

So whenever I have a micro wedding (less than 30) I plan on letting the women in my life know our colors. Half of the adult women will be my bridesmaids and will be matching anyways. That way if people want to match they can. My mother really likes matching and having things coordinated so I personally think it will make her happy! I was only going to let them know very casually in regular everyday conversation nothing formal as it is not so much a request

And oops I accidentally typed “we would have to have....” instead of “we would love/like to have”.....!

View Quoted Comment Allie, really appreciate the input and the sample phrasing! Exactly what I was trying to work through. I already informally chatted with my sisters about it (they're excited to coordinate the colors) and your phrasing will help us formally make the ask so they feel special. Happy holidays, cheers!

View Quoted Comment Thanks, Yasmine!

View Quoted Comment Thanks, Krista! My sisters and I similarly will be consulting with each other on what we're wearing regardless!

View Quoted Comment I’m so glad to hear this! That will be wonderful! Happy holidays!!!

A lot of etiquette rules took a back seat when Covid hit. Your idea sounds so fun and I’m sure your siblings will love it!