Sibling planning her wedding before mine. Family drama.

You are definitely right to feel angry and hurt--she knew that you had your date prior to her choosing hers. Shame your parents can't just tell her that they've already committed to you and she needs to push back her date since your plans were first. If they couldn't help you financially would you still be able to afford your wedding on that date?

Is the only reason you're being asked to move your date for financial reasons? Or is it also so that family has the ability to travel and be at both weddings?I think you have a right to be upset about all of this because you had plans and now you're being asked to change them, but you have to decide what's most important. Keeping your date but doing so knowing that you won't have financial help and/or some of your family won't be able to travel to both weddings, or sucking it up and moving your date so that things are easier on your family.
If you can afford the wedding you want without putting yourself in debt and all VIPs will be able to make it, I'd keep the date. If you can't afford the wedding you want, then you'll have to postpone it.

Stand firm on your date. I know that is easier said then done but you should not have to move it because your sister decided she is going to get married a month before you. I am sorry to say this but it sounds like your sister was trying to purposely do this. If her wedding comes first your parents have to spend money on hers first in a way and so on. It’s sad when there is sibling rivalry but that’s what it sadly seems like. Your sister should be able to move her date around since she just decided to get married too and already knew you were getting married. Hope everything works out.

Yeah I would sit down with your family and sister and see if they can postpone her date--- just stay calm and remember this isn't to start a fight. Your date was planned first and your sister should postpone. At least that's my opinion and I'd be sitting there and saying that.

Hi Esther! Welcome to the WeddingWire Community! Oh no, I am sorry to hear about this! I can completely understand how you feel! Being that your wedding is so close by, I can imagine how difficult it might be to move it. Do you think you could try seeing if your parents can work with you since you had initially established your date prior to hers?

I agree with SRD, you should keep your date. I would ask her to move her date since you have already started planning for yours. I would also talk with your parents about this to see if they are still willing to help you and to see if they will let her know that they already committed to helping her. I hope everything comes together on both sides.

Your sister was irresponsible to get pregnant while in a long term relationship??? Why are you slamming her for that?? Honestly that's an awful thing to say. She's not obligated to ask you simply because you're sisters.

You family shouldn't be asking you to move your wedding, that's rude, and awful yours has been planned first.. Either tell them it'll cost more to move it, or refuse their financial assistance and pay for it yourself. Your sister used the finances meant for both, technically she couldn't have done that without your parents says so and giving her the money. So it's both of their fault. If your date is August 2018, it would potentially cost thousands to move it. If your parents can't financially afford to pay for your weddings, i'd rather decline their help, and pay my self. I'd not risk my parents going into financial crisis to pay for my wedding.

I agree with a PP, you selected your date well before her. She should be respectful of the time frame you and your FH selected and she should work around your time frame. It's fine she got pregnant and engaged, but she should be mindful of the progress you and your FH made towards your own wedding.

Yes I think your sister your sister was rude to choose a date just before yours but with her being pregnant she may not have had much choice. You didn't say how far along she is. Perhaps she wants to get married before being too far along or before having the baby and if so then her options on dates are limited. As far as moving your date, you'll have to weigh whether you are financially able to afford your own wedding if you don't move the date and whether you don't mind potentially less family members present at yours. As Dr. Phil says, Do you want to be "right" or do you want to be happy?

I would have a sit down with your parents and sister to see what type of compromise could be made to make everyone happy. It is rude that your sister is deciding to go ahead and use all the money your parents had set aside to put towards both of your weddings. And to ask family to attend 2 weddings within a month of each other may cause financial strain that may cause some to only be able to attend one. For you and your FH, could you financially afford the wedding moving forward? Not sure what you already have paid for in full and what needs to be paid going forward.

To the situation of her being pregnant. It may not have been planned. But not a reason to rush down the aisle anymore. I understand different cultures believe in marriage first and kids second still. My FH and I are having a baby this August which was not planned. Not rushing into a wedding/marriage just because of our pending little one is something we discussed (FH married his ex because she got pregnant and it ended very badly). We have kept our wedding set for 2019 like originally planned.

Tell your parents Ok! you'll move your wedding! Then move it to a month before your sister's wedding. See how that works for everyone.

(kidding. kind of)

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Oh my goodness!! That's amazing, do this^

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Yassss!!!

On a serious note, it's all very unfortunate and I feel for you. I think you need to decide if you can and want to move the date. It's your decision. I really hope that your parents are being fair in helping you. If not, it sucks. Been there, doing that. Unfortunately, I've learned you can't count on the money until it's in the bank. That said, tough situation, you need to do what works best for your and your fiance financially and emotionally. Best of luck!

At this point I would think it would be too hard to postpone the wedding only two months out. Your vendors must already be booked and invitations likely already been sent to guests. Have your guests already booked travel/accommodation that might help reason with your parents? How much will it cost to move your wedding at this point? If you can't afford to move it, there's not much you can do, but if your parents are paying and you can't afford to pay instead of them, unfortunately that's their choice. I'd sit down and discuss the work and cost involved in moving it and what compromises you both can make to try find an alternative with your parents. But it's not fair to be upset at her for not making you a BM or for having a child

I'd be mad and livid and furious too. If they want you to move the date, then they should pay for whatever cost that entails.

I'd probably never speak to my sister or friend who did that to me.