Shy FH doesn't like attention

I'm also reserved like your FH. I also don't like being the center of attention ( yep I know it's weird lol). FH doesn't want a first look. We're actually debating on scaling back and doing something smaller- I think I would be in panic mode with a large group and wouldn't be able to enjoy my wedding. Then have a less formal celebration at a later date. Maybe that could be an option?

Some venues we looked at offered a traditional head table.

I'm not someone who likes that much attention, and I'm the bride. I'm planning on doing a first look to help settle my nerves, and probably a decent amount of champagne as well. We're also keeping it small, but that's for financial reasons as well as the nerves. I'm undecided between no bridal party and only a maid of honor, because a ton of people around all day will just wear me right out before I even get to the venue.

Our venue offered the option of the sweetheart table or a family/bridal party table. Perhaps that would make him feel more comfortable?

I'm the same way as your FH, especially as far as crowds go, and I'm pretty nervous about being watched all night as well. Hopefully his BM and GM will help him out by making sure he drinks just enough to loosen up without going overboard.

As far as helping him stay comfortable the rest of the night, it's really based on what helps him at home. Do those things if you can.

For me, when I start getting nervous or freaking out I squeeze FW's hand to let her know I'm uncomfortable. Then I either step out for a minute (hide in the bathroom/outside to calm down) or she rubs my back to let me know it's ok.

Little things can help A LOT with this kind of stuff. Just pay attention to his body language and have a plan to calm him down.

Both my FH and I both hate eating in front on people....I've lumped the wedding party at 1 table to help ease him a little but I have a feeling it's not going to work but as always he will power through it and probably stop at McDonalds on the way out haha

We did a King's Table with our entire wedding party and their dates. It worked really well for us.

DH is an introvert (not shy--just prefers not to be center of attention or around people), and he had a blast because there were so many of our loved ones present. Also, we were really focused on each other and just having gotten married vs "all attention being on us".

Here's a couple pics of the King's Table...

I'm getting my FH a little drunk. Lol! He definitely comes out of his shell after a drink or two. I don't think there's much you can do. It's going to be people he knows so maybe that will help.

You can do a dais table. That's a long table populated by your entire wedding party. That's the way it was done for years, but now, the sweetheart table is, according to my experience, the norm.

The problem with the dais table is that during dinner, your honor attendants are separated from their significant others who are seated at regular guest tables. Is that a deal breaker? No, because after dinner, everyone is moving around, dancing, and hanging out with whomever they want to.

If your FH is crippled by social anxiety, the dais would probably work better for you. I'd suggest you go that route.

I'm like your FH. I'm definitely doing a first look, and I'll be indulging in some spirits. Also, I hired a wedding planner who I expect (wishful thinking) to help me relax while getting ready. Also, FH knows me how to keep me relaxed when I'm around a ton of people (nothing naughty lol). This is why we are skipping out on things like "catching the garter". Will you be skipping that as well?

eta: clarity

Thank you everyone! We don't have a bridal party but maybe I'll ask him if he wants a table with his parents and my parents. A few drinks will definitely help him .

No we aren't doing a garter toss, ick! Lol

My FH gets very socially anxious, to the point where we wondered if he would be able to say his vows. We considered having a first look and saying our vows to one another, and then just have the officiant do a reading or something but I'm not sure. We kept our guest list small too, just family and a few friends, 50 people or less.

Definitely get a few drinks in him! Consider an immediate family table or a table with your parents.

The only time I actually felt alone the day of my wedding was sitting at our sweetheart table during dinner. We were sitting at the front of the room in front of everyone but it felt like we were by ourselves. I loved it.

DH and I are both this way. We did have a sweetheart table, but we were only sitting at it for like, 10 minutes tops, the rest was up and mingling/dancing. Things that helped- We kept it on the smaller side with 70 guests, only people we are close to and most comfortable with. We got a photographer that made us laugh and feel silly instead of uptight. No grand entrances, no speeches, no garter/bouquet toss. Just good food/drink, good music, and good company. We made it all very "us", and very laid back. The one thing we did do was a first dance, which I ended up having a panicking a bit during (I do suffer from anxiety/depression). I hated it, I didn't want to do it, but we decided to because we were afraid we might regret not doing it. It was the worst 2 minutes of my life. I don't even remember hearing the song. DH was just quietly trying to talk to me and sooth me during the whole thing but I can clearly see my irritation in the pictures lol.

Yes, mine is like that, too. He does like to talk, but he's very introverted (as I am, too) and he hates attention. He actually doesn't want to have the size wedding we are having. I haven't discussed the head table situation with him yet, though. With him, there's not much I can do to ease his comfort. I've already compromised on changing the ceremony location to cut costs which made him happier to have the wedding. I think he'll be alright when the wedding comes. He just needs a Monster and booze. His job has him dealing first hand with global suppliers, so I think he'll be alright, lol.

Maybe your best option is to have a really small wedding with your reception at a restaurant then it will like an everyday occurrence for him

Not trying to sound self serving just because I'm a wedding photojournalist....but that type of approach may benefit you because he won't be asked to pose nearly as much if any. I had a couple hire me because of that, the groom has aspergers and couldn't handle all the posing and structure. Fine, enjoy the day while I capture it. Certain other structured parts of the event you may want to skip as well.