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Amanda
Beginner June 2020

Shy Brides Who Can't Dance?

Amanda, on March 7, 2020 at 9:22 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 18

Any shy brides who also feel very weird even trying to dance in front of crowds? I'm not worried about the first dance but actually getting into the crowd and dancing with the guests. I've always had issues with this.. Do I need to dance with guests? I'd much rather linger and talk lol

18 Comments

Latest activity by Kaylex, on March 18, 2020 at 3:04 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Nope. I'm not much of a dancer and I stayed plenty busy mingling and taking pictures with guests.

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  • Jennifer
    Dedicated May 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I'm a very awkward dancer, but I've already told myself I'm gonna let loose and have fun. It helps that my dress hides my feet lol but you only get to do this once.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I agree that you don't have to dance, but I also agree with the poster who encouraged you to try and do it anyway if it's just other's potential impressions of you that would hold you back. I can pretty much promise you no one is going to notice or care if you're an awkward dancer. Honestly? I think there are very few people who AREN'T awkward dancers -- that's part of what makes it so fun! Most social dancing I've been a part of is just a bunch of people having fun together. God love him, my sweet husband has ABSOLUTELY no sense of rhythm at all, like, I think he must not be able to hear the beat of the music, but we still have a blast dancing together. Sometimes life is about deciding doing things is more important than worrying about what people think about you doing that thing! Good luck to you whether you dance or not! Smiley heart

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  • Rosabelle
    Dedicated May 2021
    Rosabelle ·
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    My FH is shy dancing 🕺 but I think it’s because he doesn’t know how to dance 💃 I’m teaching him because I want him to dance with our guests
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I didn’t dance much either. I sort of just went my way around and mingled while dancing went on. We had a photo booth and people really occupied me there because they wanted me to jump in a photo with them
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  • Mcskipper
    Rockstar July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    I love to dance but even so I feel like I was only on the dance floor for maybe 2 songs— I was just too busy talking to people! No issue with that what so ever.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    I think the best thing, way in advance, is to take dance lessons from a pro. Everyone is more confident when they know exactly what they are doing. In many families and cultures it is traditional for older relatives and brothers, cousins, to dance with the bride. And if guests keep coming up and asking, after a while you will feel foolish. If you even learn a couple of easy ballroom dances , to do with FI or others and are seen to dance a few times, then people often stop asking. Take lessons by yourself, several times. Not with FI. Since one person leads and one does the dance backwards, or one lifts an arm while the other turns, many things where you and FI are supposed to do different things, it is easier to learn just your part til you have it cold. Then a lesson or two with FI. Dancing is a social skills you will use all your life, if you learn. Why not learn to do it very well, before you do it in public. You will not embarrass yourself, and knowing that, some of the shyness will go. Another advantage to learning from a pro: dancing a waltz, foxtrot, swing dance, lovers tend to hold close, sometimes just stand and sway. But there are formal places to place hands that keep your body a set distance from your partner all the time in social dancing, with friends, family, anyone not your lover. No body contact or hands in strange places by unfamiliar guys. Knowing how to set your arms to get that distance, so you don't start wrong, helps a lot . It signals to your partner you are on polite, not intimate terms, and will dance that way. And pros can show you how to handle dancing with a long full skirt. It is a real boost to your confidence. You need not dance in a showy way, or one that attracts attention. In fact, while you are dancing, you may talk but need not. Even with those you know and love, having to talk and interact with people all prep time for the wedding, and hours and hours after, you might find a half hour or so total dance time to be restful.
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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    1) Alcohol.

    2) It's your wedding, and if you want to talk and not dance that is totally fine. If you are worried that guests will REALLY want to see you on the dance floor, what about learning some simple line dances (macarena, cha cha slide, electric slide, cotton eyed joe) and having a couple of them played at your wedding? That way when the song comes up you'll already know the choreography and can dance along with your guests for a song or two.

    3) You can also consider dance lessons. My mom always said she would get them for me and my partner before we got married but I guess she changed her mind because me and FH have definitely not been offered any dance lessons.

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  • Kendra
    Beginner 0000
    Kendra ·
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    I'm shy too and dont really want to dance at my wedding either. I will dance to a few songs though because when else will you be able to dance with all of your friends and family at your wedding
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  • A
    Dedicated July 2020
    Ally ·
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    I hate dancing. Even as a child, I was uncomfortable with it. I'm doing my first dance with my husband and a dance with my dad, but that's it. I'd rather talk with my guests than dance. Plus, I'm clumsy and I really don't want to fall in my (only 2 inch) heels.

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  • Ester
    Dedicated April 2022
    Ester ·
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    My FH has 2 left feet so we are taking dance lessons for our first dance. After that, I will be dancing if I'm asked but I would rather not as I am super shy dancing around others.

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  • Sierra
    Dedicated July 2021
    Sierra ·
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    Our way to avoid the dance floor (FH is very anxious about dancing in front of others) is we are setting up lots of lounge spaces, a s'more pit, and lawn-type games. That way the dance floor isn't the only place all the guests will be and we can do activities we like more (eating and giant jenga) while mingling. Maybe you can infuse some of that into the day?

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  • O
    Savvy August 2021
    o1234 ·
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    This is what we are doing too! Yard games and a bon fire, so people have other things to do Smiley smile

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  • Angela
    Savvy October 2020
    Angela ·
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    Ugh, yes. Hate the thought of a "first dance" in front of everyone. I wanted to get a few dance lessons, fiance is not interested, he's way more of a party animal than me, I don't think he gets just how much I hate the thought of some of this stuff! Dancing in a group not so much because people won't be paying as much attention.

    You don't have to dance with the group if you don't want to!

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  • Harmony
    Dedicated June 2021
    Harmony ·
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    I am in the same boat.

    He is excited for the wedding but dreading having to dance. I think we are going to need to take dance classes.

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  • Rosabelle
    Dedicated May 2021
    Rosabelle ·
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    Mine is excited for the wedding too
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  • Molly
    VIP September 2020
    Molly ·
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    You don't have to dance, but I always think its fun when you go to a wedding and the bride gets on the dance floor in her dress and lets loose. I am not at all a dancer but I think its fun to dance silly like. I am sure you will be very busy talking to guests though. It is your wedding every person there loves you and won't be judging you!

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  • Kaylex
    Savvy March 2021
    Kaylex ·
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    I'm not the most confident dancer either, and the people around me know that. Your family & friends know who you are so I don't believe they'll expect you to go crazy with the moves. But I also think you'll be so happy in the moment you may start dancing without a second thought about it Smiley winking

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