Shouldn’t wedding planning be joyful and not so tear filled?

I'm sorry you feel like way, but unfortunately no one is obligated to help you with wedding planning. I think that right now everything is uncertain for September, as no one can say how the world will be operating. If you do a buffet style I would definitely hire waiters because COVID will still be a thing. Who knows if people will feel safe travelling by that time or not, no one can really tell. That is the downside of being a COVID bride. It's very unfortunate but its so uncertain.

Sorry that you are feeling this way though.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm in a similar situation myself where my parents are providing very minimal inclusion in the wedding planning. Even before the reschedule despite them claiming they were going to chip in, we had paid for everything up to that point because they thought we were trying to plan too early except for my dress which my stepdad paid a third of. We decided that we would plan a wedding my FH and I could afford to pay for in case they didnt contribute any more money. If possible I'm planning to hire a wedding planner to help me.


Every company has their own deposit return policies. I'd take some time to become familiar with their contracts to see what cancellation policies they have. As for the buffet I personally would have one or two people actually dishing out the food to minimize contact. As for friends traveling that's probably just going to depend on the friend and their state restrictions at that point.

I'm sorry to hear that this is causing you so much stress! Unfortunately, no one knows whether things will be improved by this fall or not, though with the vaccine available, I'm hopeful that things will at least be improved. As far as deposits for any rentals, check with the company before you book to ask whether you'd have the option of postponing at no additional cost if the pandemic is still a major issue (meaning, they apply your deposit to the new date and don't charge you extra). That way, you could still reserve everything you need, but without the stress of losing out on your deposits. If you get a caterer, ask them about providing servers! It may be included in the cost, or you may be able to get them to provide servers for a low fee. As for the involvement of friends and family, I think it's likely a combination of things. Typically, the bride and groom are the two people who are most excited for the wedding. That's not to say that your friends and family aren't excited for you - I'm confident that they are! But they also have other things they need to focus on in their lives, so it sometimes feels like they aren't interested in the wedding (even though they probably are interested). Also, the pandemic has taken a toll on many people emotionally. It can be difficult to feel excitement about an upcoming event when many other events are being cancelled or postponed. Talk with your fiance about whether you want to continue planning for this fall, or postpone to 2022 in hopes that things will be better. No matter what you choose to do, your wedding day will be beautiful!

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Thanks Yasmine and Violet. I appreciate it. Violet, Your wedding will be beautiful I’m sure of it! We too are having little financial assistance from family, which is part of bringing it down a few notches, but also, we just couldn’t see spending thousands and thousands of dollars on one day when we want to travel and work on our house and so many other things that mean alot to us.

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I 100% agree with this here. Only you and your fiance are the only one obligated to plan. No one knows where September will be but I will say this. I would not base your happiness of the day on who can show up because even in a non pandemic time that may happen. Your feelings are valid and you have a right to be upset but it is up to you two how you choose to proceed. I have been to buffet restaurants twice and each restaurant has in place that people must be masked and use hand sanitizer or wear gloves when getting their food so I suggest the same and maybe someone to man the buffet to ensure people are following accordingly. I would wait for now to see how to proceed as you have time. I would try to do the happy moments as normal such as dress shopping and planning and try to focus on the happy moments.

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Thank you so much Lisa, your words are comforting. We scheduled our wedding 2 years out thinking that would take alot of stress out of it having ample time to plan. Then covid hit and we kept everything up in the air. Now that the vaccine is being released it feels like everything go put in to hyperdrive! So many moving variables to wrap our mind around in hopes of getting out save the dates and deposites in time. We talked about waiting til next year when things are more predictable but we’ve already waited so long. I appreciate you reminding me that so many people are stressed and not in future party mode. I get it that “no one’s as excited about your wedding as you” but some excitement would be nice. It’s not like our wedding is up to debate or an “on the whim” thing, I just don’t get it. I really needed to hear the reminder you gave me. What if we send order our save the dates and then find out the rental places are full? We’re in a time crunch!

Take a deep breath! Planning a wedding is stressful; planning a wedding during Covid is extra stressful. 🤗


1) As others have said, planning a wedding is only the responsibility of the engaged couple. What is your partner doing to help? If planning isn’t your thing (for either one of you), why not hire a pro?
2) A backyard wedding usually isn’t less money (money has to be spent on unfun items like bathrooms, power generators, lighting, heaters, etc). And from what I’ve read here, it’s waaaaay more stress. A venue often provides what you need.
3) Sadly, any wedding in 2021 may be dealing with Covid (and a lot of venues already booked for fall). Do you want to postpone until 2022? Or might you consider a smaller guest list if you want to stick with 2021?

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Thanks Kristen and all you lovely ladies, it’s helpful hearing from others about this. I’ve been alone in my own head about it way too much and that’s never a good place to be lol. One step at a time... deep breaths... .. deep breaths...

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Or drink ha ha ha. Sometimes wine was helpful. I am sorry and I do hope it gets better. I mean in FL where cases are rising people have had full weddings. I think if you ensure social distancing measures people may feel comfortable attending. I know I would during this time.

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Thanks Pirate & 60’s Bride.

We love our property and we homestead and have a great view, so celebrating in front of our garden and having people up to watch the sunset from high in the clouds and enjoy lawn games and stay for star gazing was something we thought would be really beautiful. We thought we knocked it down a few notches by eloping and having people over for a fun barbecue reception, but covid seemed to put way more bumps in the road. Maybe a smaller guest list , (originally I pondered inviting our entire town of 120 people lol but later decided just family and friends,) and now need to make that to just close family and friends which is more intimate and lovely anyway but also feels more stressful if they don’t make it. Deep breaths... deep breaths....!!

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LOL I live in Vermont where outside of a few bad apples, we’ve taken this distancing and precaution thing pretty seriously. No full weddings here that I know of. We get take out but haven’t been out to eat since.... i can’t remember. With that being said, even distancing is not going to make most people feel ok to attend. I’m just banking we all get the vaccine by september and people feel ready to party!

And a stiff drink or two!

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Ahhhh I understand. I only go to places that have social distancing procedures in place as I do not play and I want to keep myself safe. Since cases have gone back up I have kind of limited going out as much and will continue to. I hope things get better and you can have your day.

Hi Jasmine! I truly understand! I felt the same way and disappointed my mom would be highly involved, but I too felt so alone.


With that said, I knew if I wanted it done right it was up to me 👍 and it IS possible!
Not sure if you already have a venue in place, but if you don’t or are able to back out of your contract, the backyard reception sounds amazing. In PA, we rented tents, chivari chairs and linens for $800 for 40 guests. We loved it and was more affordable then expected. It is smart to plan for covid. Layout options and get prices lined up so you can make an informed decision. Pivoting is possible, you just need to line up options. Keeping plans simple is best. Hope this gives you hope ❤️

Thanks Katie, That was really helpful. We wanted simple yet my feelings are complicating things. I need to keep it simple! And YES keeping things flexible so seamless change can occur if needed, is a good thing to keep in mind! Thanks for that tip! I can be a bit particular and it’s our day so maybe less involvement from others only opens a wider door for us to have everything the way we like it perspective I need reminding of!

Thank you Kristen for all your kind words!

All of you ladies have been so helpful in a moment I really needed it! Pre-pandemic I thought I was ahead of the game with so much was figured out and so much time ahead. Lately it’s been a huge guessing game my mind can’t seem to wrap itself around. Thank you so very much for all your support!

Many others feel as you do. I stopped worrying and planned as if the pandemic would still be here. We are marrying outside with less than 10 guests.

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Mrs. Spring, That sounds beautiful and intimate! Best wishes to you both!

After hours of weighing pros and cons and looking at different options, we decided to postpone our reception and elope for the ceremony just us There were too many health risk concerns, added costs and things we had our hearts set on, that a reception shortly after covid (hoping this ends soon with the vaccine out) wouldn’t allow us. Like family style/make your own dishes and guests all sitting at one or two long tables, we’re also having guests camp on our property and people might not feel comfortable doing that this fall, even if everyone’s vaccinated. Our family’s have never met so maybe spacing would be a good thing LOL but in the long run we decided to wait to have the reception we’ve envisioned