Should your theme be meaningful/representative?

For my wedding events, I personally would only choose themes that are meaningful to me and my fiance based on our shared interests. However, if someone else were planning an event for me (such as, a bachelorette party), then I'd be fine with whatever theme they chose, because they're the ones planning. I do agree that if I personally chose a theme that was only based on what was popular on Instagram (and wasn't something that I connected with otherwise), I feel like I'd look back on it later and wonder why I went with that theme. As far as what other people choose for their themes, it doesn't make a difference to me whether or not it relates to an actual interest of theirs. I think the themes can help make it fun and unique for both the couple and their guests, but a meaningful theme makes it even more special.

View Quoted Comment You make a very good point about others potentially choosing The theme of a wedding shower. I would think they would naturally choose a theme that would be meaningful to the bride, but you never know! LOL I know the breakfast at Tiffany’s themed shower I went to was chosen by the bride herself (Who had never even seen the movie). I thought it was such an odd choice, but the decor turned out super cute nonetheless!

View Quoted Comment Oh, for sure! If I were planning an event for someone else, I'd definitely want to base the theme off of what they were interested in (as opposed to my own interests lol)! Though in the case of a surprise event, I could also see themes like "lemonade stand" for a summer event or "winter wonderland" for a winter event being generic themes that could still turn out super cute, without having to find out specific interests. I've never seen the Breakfast at Tiffany's movie, but I've seen pictures from bridal showers with that theme, and I could definitely see how the decor would be beautiful and why people might want that theme!

I don't really think it matters just because it's another party and having a theme just makes it more festive. but if there was a theme that was meaningful, that would just make it all the better!!!

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I agree with this, I don't think it really matters

I think even if they’re an arbitrary theme, it could still be meaningful in the sense that the couple likes those particular colors and/or design.
Sometimes we just want something that looks pretty and that’s ok!
And sometimes it might not look that meaningful to an outside person, but the couple does find the theme meaningful to them. Example: we got married in December and had a winter wedding theme. It might just look like a random theme to everyone but we really do looooove the winter and everything rustic/woodsy so it was still meaningful to us.

I don’t think it matters that themes and trends “ go out of style”. That’s what makes looking at older pictures of yourself and others fun. Seeing what was in style then and what you thought was stylish at the time triggers nostalgia, laughter and inspiration for new trends.


If we all had the same tastes and everyone’s weddings and showers looked pretty much the same it would be BORING.
It also doesn’t necessarily have to be a reflection of the couple and I don’t think you have to see the movie, live the life or be a recognized monarch. If you dress up as a ghost on Halloween it doesn’t mean that you believe in ghosts or watch spooky movies, you just may find the look aesthetically pleasing.
I say let people have fun and enjoy things. This reminds me of people who wear band T shirts and people say that they’re “posers” and to “name the members of the band and their songs. If you like the shirt buy it. If you want a sponge boob theme and you’ve never watched an episode so what. It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree if everyone’s weddings looked the same it would be super boring! I also agree that themes all go out of style. But that’s kind of why I wondered if people would regret choosing an arbitrary theme. At least when you look back years later, you can say that out of date style held a special meaning. Whereas Halloween is just a fun holiday that comes around once a year and the purpose of which is to dress up as something arbitrary, your wedding is a once in a lifetime event that is 100% about the couple. I just wondered of other people who had themes for their weddings chose something random because they thought it was cool at the moment, or if they actually put thought into choosing something that was very meaningful or reflected them as a couple. In the past, whenever I have been to weddings that had themes (not just color schemes) it was because the couple had something they were super into they wanted to share with others because it reflected them as a couple. The past couple years though, it seems to just be random. But of course people can do whatever they want at their weddings, and I am in no way condemning the reasoning behind anyone’s themes. I was just curious what other people’s thoughts were- If they would only choose a theme that was meaningful to them, or just skip a theme altogether if they didn’t have something super meaningful they wanted to base the wedding around. Themes are fun, and I’m totally here for it!!


(And girrrrrrrrl, I am TOTALLY that person who cannot stand when someone wears a band shirt and they aren’t a fan of the band! 😆)

View Quoted Comment Lol! For shame!!!! I have a million T-Shirts that I bought just because they match my sneakers 😂😂😂.

View Quoted Comment Hahaha! I managed a music apparel store for 7 years where we sold hundreds of band shirts. Everyone that worked there was super passionate about music, and this was our biggest pet peeve! 😆 But hey, everyone has the right to buy any apparel that’s for sale- we don’t get to dictate the motivation behind the purpose.

Shhhh just let people enjoy things. If it makes someone happy to pretend to be a princess when they're not what concern is it if yours? Obviously no one in real life is a Jedi either but I know a couple who did a Star Wars themed wedding and they were extremely happy. Just let people choose an aesthetic they like and don't try to set a bar for who's qualified to use it.

View Quoted Comment No one is saying people shouldn’t chose anything they want. In fact, I said multiple times everyone should chose whatever they want. I simply asked if anyone has regretted choosing an arbitrary theme and if others who are planning to have a theme will be choosing one that’s meaningful, or what others thoughts were on the subject. I could care less what other people chose to do with their weddings 🤷🏼‍♀️

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And yet you made a whole thread detailing how someone doing a particular theme must have made an arbitrary choice because of X Y Z... it seems awfully judgmental to just assume a couple chose a theme because it's trendy. You're making a lot of judgements and assumptions about how these couples will obviously regret their choice when you have no idea what went into it. Maybe that boho couple just likes the boho look, maybe that "royal" couple just wanted to feel special for a day. Even if they did just pick a theme at random... if you really don't care, why make a thread about it? Why fish for people to justify your assumptions and judgements? Let them enjoy being a sparkly princess or whatever and move on with your meaningful wedding theme, whatever that may be to you.

I made a thread asking people’s personal opinions on a subject that is current in wedding trends in order to start an open discussion on a forum.. about current wedding trends LOL Never once in my post did I ever even give my opinion on the subject, except to say “obviously couples can choose to do whatever they want at their weddings”. I simply shared an experience that I, personally, have had multiple times recently… and asked other peoples thoughts/opinions on the subject. And I did not make any assumptions about how the couples came to their theme choices- it was told directly to me by the brides themselves. It seems the only person being judgemental and jumping to conclusions here is you 🤷🏼‍♀️

I personally would prefer a theme that is relevant to me, but I think any theme could potentially end up being cringe-y later on!

For my bachelorette, I've asked my bridesmaids if they can suggest (not demand!) the guests wear pink if they'd like to, since that's my favourite colour and I thought a photo with everyone in pink might be cute, but I'm not precious about it and people don't have to if they don't want to!

While I suppose it's entirely possible I'll look back and think oh god, WAY too much pink, I've loved pink ever since I was a child and I don't think I'll look back and regret it - and if I do I have bigger problems - both my engagement and wedding rings have peach coloured stones, and I intend to wear those every day for the rest of my life, haha!

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"I can’t help but wonder if these couples will look back and regret choosing an arbitrary theme for such an important event, rather than something that is meaningful, or reflects them as a couple. I know there is always the trendy theme of the moment that we see on Instagram, but the cool factor passes and it becomes old news/out of date quickly."

Your base argument is essentially that certain couples shouldn't choose particular themes that aren't relevant or meaningful to them (for instance, non-royal people choosing to do imitation royal weddings), or at least if they do it's most likely they'll regret it. You say you are not offering an opinion, but this is essentially your opinion -- that these themes are arbitrary, that they're not meaningful, and/or that they're simply a trendy Instagram theme. You may just be quoting what your brides are saying, but you're not framing it that way, you said you merely witnessed these weddings; you're putting out observations and opinions and then acting like they have nothing to do with you, that they're just facts. I'm sure there's some people that do regret their choice of theme. But there's no rule in weddings that the theme has to be in any way meaningful. Your examples are essentially gatekeeping. You say that couples can do whatever they want, but the subtext here is that you feel like the superior option is to pick a theme that's meaningful or relevant. If people could only choose themes relevant to their lives at weddings it'd be boring indeed! It's a party, dream up whatever you want.

View Quoted Comment Once again YOU are the one who is being judgmental. YOU are the one that is assuming you know what I mean… YOU are the one placing meaning on my words, when I (the person who wrote it!) is literally telling you the motivation behind it. It seems YOU want others to jump in and admonish me for something I never even said. You literally quoted that fact above… I WONDER if people who choose arbitrary themes (not people who dont.. and never once did I say everyone did… only those who DO) will regret them… never did I say they would, or should. The entire post was written about those who DO choose arbitrarily… not my, or anyone else’s, judgment or opinion on WHETHER they did. Never did I say a theme needs to be, should be, has to be something meaningful. Not once. I simply asked if people thought choosing an arbitrary theme for a wedding would lead to regrets down the road. And somehow you have run with this and turned it into some crazy interpretation you made up in your own mind. So once more… in case you still don’t understand… I AM JOT JUDGING PEOPLE’S CHOICE OF THEMES OR THE MOTIVATION BEHIND THEM. This was a very straightforward question that did not require interpretation. Have a great day and good luck on your wedding 👍🏻

View Quoted Comment Thank you for understanding the question! I completely agree, most themes are going to be
cringe-y later LOL I wonder if it will be less cringe-y if the theme has significance to the couple (“omg, this is ridiculous but it totally reflects us” 😆) or if everyone who chose a theme will be rolling their eyes the same some day. In your case I think you’re safe! Just having a color theme seems like it could hold a timeless appeal. And you’ve made it this far loving pink… I doubt you’ll ever hate it! 💕

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I mean, look at this another way, and tell me there's no judgement involved in what I'm saying. I only swapped out a few things in what you said.

I can’t help but wonder if these women wearing crop tops will look back and regret choosing this kind of shirt to wear, rather than something that covers more of their belly, or reflects their personality. I know there is always the trendy clothes of the moment that we see on Instagram, but the cool factor passes and it becomes out of date quickly.

Frankly don't care if people back me up on this. You're over a year out from your wedding. You're going to hear so many different opinions about what you should or shouldn't do with your wedding, what's trendy, what's not trendy, what people want to see, what people don't want to see, etc. All I'm saying is, don't worry about what others say, and definitely don't bother worrying about what other people are doing with their weddings. Do the things you enjoy no matter if it's trendy or not, if it's "arbitrary" or not, just do whatever you want. I don't see why this even needs to be a discussion, people can pick whatever themes they want, move on. I find it sad that anyone has to worry about whether or not their theme will be "cringe" on top of all the other things to worry about. Don't be like me and waste over a year on this website wondering what other people think. Just choose things that personally make you happy!

View Quoted Comment Once again… thank you for your contribution to the discussion and good luck with your wedding 👍🏻