Should we stay with this officiant, or...

Our officiant is somewhat similar to yours. He isn't "pay whatever you want", but he doesn't do deposits or a contract. He's a retired naval officer, follows his planner religiously, and has never missed a wedding in the five years he's been doing this. He said if we'd be more comfortable, he could write up a contract, but it's just not his style. He also has hundreds of raving reviews and very affordable, we loved him after our meeting.

I feel very comfortable having him as our officiant, but I was a little concerned at first with the no deposit. It really just depends on the vibe you got from him. I could tell our officiant was a very genuine guy, that's why we're comfortable. But if you feel like this guy is shady/unreliable, I would see if you could at least have a contract made up like our officiant offered to do for our piece of mind.

This definitely isn't the norm in the industry, but sometimes it's just about reading people. I really appreciate the "no nonsense" type of folks, that's a big thing in the south. Genuine and honest, no smoke and mirrors. I have full confidence with the man we booked with. He joked that on May 3rd (our date) he'd either be at our wedding or six feet under, no negotiation

I wouldn't "hire" any vendor without a contract. I'm sure that he's a great guy, but things happen even in great people's lives. If he falls ill on your wedding day, or gets into a fender bender, or his kid has a soccer game that he forgot about, you have no recourse. I'm sure he has good intentions, but this wouldn't work for me.

View Quoted Comment

Wow, the similarities are uncanny! I mean, this officiant seems like a nice guy. No denying the fact that all the ceremonies he has officiated have been very successful. He is literally 5 stars. So I was sort of taken aback by his lack of concern with payment. Usually, everyone wants to talk about money, making sure they are getting paid. I mean he simply told us to have someone in the wedding party hand him the money in an envelope following the ceremony. VERY lax. So I guess I was a bit surprised. The deposit thing is the worrisome part. Usually a deposit secures your booking. It's your backup. And we don't have that. I'm just really not used to it. But, I guess fiance and I will sort of pan it out and see what happens? Thank you so much for your feedback

View Quoted Comment

And that's sort of my stance as well. Fiance and I like his demeanor, he's nice, seems very professional and thorough but no contract? No deposit? What do we have to fall back on? You know? You've made valid points. So, I don't know. I mean I've looked and looked for officiants and he really stood out. I like his vibe and he seems to generally care. We'll see, though. I may start looking for other officiants just in case. Thanks for your feedback!

I would maybe ask him if you all could come up with a contract for a peace of mind. I'd he says no I'd try to find someone else.

View Quoted Comment

Hey Erica,

Thank you so much for your input. I really appreciate it

View Quoted Comment

I know it sounds weird to all of us who are trying to plan the biggest party of our lives. But I have found that some people do these kinds of things because they truly love it, not because of money, or any other ulterior motive. He probably really loves doing it, and doesn't need the money, so he's laid back about when he gets paid. His relaxed nature is probably in part to get you to relax. If he's been doing this for years, he knows what it means to be a nervous couple on the edge of marriage. He's probably had these conversations a lot over the years. It doesn't mean you can't trust him.

There is always the fear that something may go wrong, which is why it's a good idea to protect yourself and your investment, with a contract. Maybe just speak to him about that. Tell him that it honestly makes you nervous not to have one, because what if something goes wrong? You can't get married without an officiant. See what he says. If you feel ok with his answer, or his reasoning, then go for it!!

View Quoted Comment

But how would having a contract in this case make any difference since he's not requiring payment before the ceremony? If a payment was put down, and something happened day-of that made the officiant miss the ceremony, that's where a contract protects you. But in this case, she wouldn't need to fight to get money back because the payment is due after the ceremony. I agree that I would never pay a vendor upfront without a contract, but this situation is a little different.

View Quoted Comment Contracts are about more than just payment. Most professional vendors put a backup plan in their contract. If my officiant isn’t able to make it for whatever reason, he has others who would fill in for him. The same way with my photographer, videographer, and DJ.

View Quoted Comment

True. I was more thinking of day-of emergencies, where a backup may not be able to make it there in time.

It's definitely not ideal, but if you want to stay with this officiant and still have a backup plan, ask one of your friends/family members to get ordained online and serve as a just-in-case backup. I may be naive for saying this, but I would give the guy the benefit of the doubt, especially if he has good reviews. But make sure that you continue to communicate with him.

Of all the people I would want the warm fuzzy feeling from, it would be my officiant. They’re the one who is going to put into words the love between you and your fiancé. If this isn’t happening with this officiant, I would find another one. No matter how good his reviews and how nice a guy he is, if you’re not getting what you need, just move on.

View Quoted Comment

Yes, what Caytlyn said. I personally would not hire anyone without a contract and deposit. It at least holds them accountable for your day. He’s already flaked on you twice, as well. That alone to me would be concerning.

Thank you all for your input! Much appreciated!!