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Devoted September 2020

Should we invite them?

Anna, on July 29, 2019 at 12:17 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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I’m going to try to make this easy to follow. We are unsure whether to invite my fiancé's brother’s in-laws. My fiancé’s brother will be our best man. We are inviting the best man’s sister in law with her new husband because they invited us to their wedding. Also, best man’s wife will need help with their 3 kids all under 4 years of age. We have been to best man’s in laws’ home multiple times because they have hosted birthday parties and showers. And if we invite both their daughters and not them, will that be rude? My fiancé doesn’t care for them so he’s not helpful. My future MIL also said it’s our decision so she’s not helpful.

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Latest activity by Jennifer, on July 29, 2019 at 2:33 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 29, 2019 at 12:21 PM
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It doesn't sound like you really have a personal relationship with them, so I wouldn't invite them.
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Devoted September 2020
Anna · on July 29, 2019 at 12:24 PM
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My fiancé is the 3/3 siblings getting married. His sister invited the oldest brother’s in laws even though she’s not close with them either. We just don’t want to be rude and not invite them if they were at the previous siblings wedding.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 29, 2019 at 12:26 PM
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Okay so, it sounds like you're pretty set on inviting them?
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Devoted June 2019
C R · on July 29, 2019 at 12:37 PM
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I’m not at all following who is related to whom, or in laws with whom, in this scenario, but generally, I would invite those you have a personal relationship with, and omit those you don’t. My husband’s siblings had certain family friends that they all grew up with at their weddings, along with some distant cousins, etc., but my husband is not particularly close with them today, and our wedding had a different feel & structure to it than his siblings’ did, so some of the same people were included while others were not. No guilt involved, no hard feelings involved. If you think about it long enough, comparing other people’s guest lists to yours will, in fact, raise issues if you let it. Just don’t go there, is my advice. Everyone has people they wish could’ve been included - reserve that guilt for people you’re actually close with or really really like!
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VIP July 2017
Becky · on July 29, 2019 at 12:43 PM
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We invited my brother's in-laws, because I had a previous, cordial, relationship with them. We did not invite H's brother's in-laws, because he has never had a relationship with them. Can you imagine your day without them? Then invite them, otherwise, it's unnecessary.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on July 29, 2019 at 12:48 PM
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In your situation, I think it's okay to not invite the brother-in-laws!
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on July 29, 2019 at 2:33 PM
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I am not inviting my brother's in laws. I've been to their house a couple times for some parties, etc. but don't have a relationship with them. They are my brother's family with his wife. They're not mine haha! You do whatever feels right, but no, you are not required to invite anyone's in-laws unless they are your own. If you are worried about the best man's wife needing help, maybe give her a "plus one" so she can bring one person to help her with the children, whomever that may be (it would be up to her).
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