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Alejandra
Super November 2021

Should we invite my future Sil?

Alejandra, on July 18, 2019 at 7:49 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14
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Very long story short, my fiancé and I have been together almost three years, engaged a couple weeks ago. His sister has spoken to me maybe once it twice. (I’ve only seen her once or twice as she lives far away but every time has been for a few days at a time). She hates me. The first time we met she completely ignored me even though I tried to meet her. Her family was really upset with her and she’s been spoken to several times about this. At the moment, she, my fiancé (her brother) and I are not on speaking terms. She dislikes me because their cousins dislike me and decided to go along with it. We know she knows about the engagement now, and her husband sent my fiancé a congratulatory text but she hasn’t said anything. Should we bother inviting her or not?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Renee, on July 21, 2019 at 12:03 AM
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    Don't invite her or the cousins
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    This is really up to your FH. Does he want to invite his sister? Is he prepared that not inviting her may completely sever any chance at a relationship with her in the future?
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  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    They’ve never particularly been close. He was a groomsman in her wedding, but that’s the most interaction they’ve had in the last four years. He doesn’t want her there but is thinking about it for his parents sake. Outside of his parents and grandparents, no one would miss her.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You have a ton of time to decide this. The relationship could and probably will change within the next 16 months. I think this is your FH’s decision. Keep in mind that not inviting her will probably ruin any chance of ever having a civil relationship.
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  • P
    privateuser ·
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    This sounds like my situation but reversed. I am hoping I don't get an invite considering my BIL/FSIL do not speak to me or my husband at all. It would make things so much easier than going to a wedding of someone who doesn't like/ or talk to us. So knowing that, I would say don't invite them. Especially if she isn't talking to her own brother. It is one thing if she isn't talking to you. But to not talk to her brother....I would say no.

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  • N
    Expert August 2019
    N ·
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    Have him make the decision
    Give it til January and see what happens.
    I would definitely not want her there.
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  • Rachel
    Savvy April 2020
    Rachel ·
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    Well first off, congratulations on your engagement! I am sorry you are having to deal with this out of the gate. I have a similar situation with my FH's sister but I let him decide and we are not inviting her. I would totally leave that in his court. I'm sure he will also have to deal with his parents on this as well. I just supported my FH in whatever decision he made and we are both happy with it. Good luck!
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    That's kind of your fiances call to see if he wants his sister there
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  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
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    I'm kind of torn on this. I want to say don't invite her because of the fact that she's not on speaking terms with her brother but at the same time, as others have said, a lot can change in that time frame. It sounds like her husband is civil, how's he feel about all this?

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  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    I’ve never met her husband. He was out of the country the two times I’ve seen her. I’ve been told he’s pretty awesome lol. I think he would definitely try to keep her in check but FH is worried she’ll be annoying to everyone at the wedding.
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  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
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    I agree with other's that its ultimately FH's decision. Does he want to permanently end the relationship with his sister? because that might happen if you don't invite her. DO you want to potentially have a relationship with her in the future? Again, not inviting a sibling to your wedding sends a very clear message.

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  • Annemarie
    Devoted October 2019
    Annemarie ·
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    Nah, don't invite her or the cousins.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Why would you invite someone so hostile and bad mannered? Someone who jumps on the bandwagon and acts hateful because some other person does not like you, is having an infantile attention seeking tantrum specifically to mess you up. Neither of you should worry 5 minutes over not inviting her .
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  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
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    I hope everything work out for the 2 of you

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