Should this person be in my wedding?

Your first sentence says it all - that you don't really want her in your wedding. So I wouldn't ask her just because you've been friends for awhile. I would just let her attend as a guest.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. If your heart is saying you don't want her in the bridal party, don't include her in the bridal party. You are under no obligation. She can be invited as a guest if you so choose.

Exactly was Yasmine said. If you don't want her in it, that is definitely fine. Invite her as a guest and keep the peace in your bridal party.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, this 100%.

Follow your gut. Is she part of your current innermost support system? If not, then don’t ask her to be a bridesmaid. I would not ask her to be a guest either.

No. Absolutely not

No I would not have her in the wedding if you don't want to.

"I have been friends with this girl since kindergarten, but I don't really want her in my wedding."

No need to read past your first sentence - NO

View Quoted Comment

Agree with this!

You don’t want her there but you don’t feel right not asking her. You don’t feel close to her like your other friends especially your college friends but you’ve known her the longest. She annoys you and you don’t want her antics on your special day or any events leading up to the day. She did not show up for events related to your other friends Wedding and she was kicked out of that Wedding but this friend who kicked her out says you need to invite her to be in yours.
Has this friend been a good friend to you regardless of the fact that you may not be as close and that she annoys you when your around others? Would you want her to ask you to be in her Wedding if the situation was turned? Are you to then exclude her from your group texts whenever you talk about the Wedding so you don’t hurt her feelings? What will that do long term to your relationship and what kind of uncomfortable positions will you be putting your other friends in? Would excluding her hurt her and make you look bad to the friend group? It seems like you asked everyone to be in the Wedding except her, so there’s no way just to have your college besties by your side at this point. I think the answer is easy, invite her but try to uncover what went wrong with being a bridesmaid at your other friends Wedding. Maybe by opening up the conversation she may reveal something that might make a difference in her decision to be in the Wedding or not and together you can come to a final decision. Could it have been financial reasons ? Could it be she has social anxiety around groups of people? Maybe just as much as you don’t want her in your Wedding she may not want to be in the Wedding. I would approach the conversation with a very personal touch.

View Quoted Comment

I haven't asked anyone to be in my wedding yet. But, everything you stated is what I have been thinking. We are not as close as we used to be, but I know she would be there for me if I needed as would I for her. We have gotten into fights in the past, but that was high school and we are 25 years old now. After thinking about all of the things you stated, I think I am going to ask her. I am going to be upfront about costs, behavior, and other expectations. She can decline if she wishes as can all of my bridesmaids. I know being a bridesmaid is demanding financially and timewise and I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. I do believe this friend would be an asset to helping me plan my wedding because she is pretty creative. I do believe there are some underlying issues at to why she acts the way that she does sometimes. I will have a talk with her when I ask her. If she starts to cause problems I will talk to her or have one of my other bridesmaids talk to her. Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it!

View Quoted Comment Good luck and maybe consider just having your College friends as bridesmaids since you didn’t ask everyone yet? Just a thought…