Should the parents help pay for the wedding?

Traditionally, yes the family's help (if they can afford to). If they can't afford to or can afford to but are choosing not to, that also is common. But I would say that gives them less of a "right" to add anyone to the guest list or have a say. I would just budget for your own wedding, and plan your own wedding with just your fiance.

Do you want them to Invite over 200 people? Because if they help pay they'll think they can do what they want. I personally would rather have a wedding I personally could afford than to be given money with strings attached. Good luck.

If they are demanding you have your wedding a certain way, I think that they should be helping you pay for it. If the wedding that they want is not the wedding you and your FH want or can afford, then you don’t need to listen to them or give them a say if they are not paying for anything. They can’t be mad that you cannot afford to host (or don’t want to spend your money on hosting) 200+ people if they are not willing to help. Honestly I would just tell them how the wedding you are paying for us going to go, and leave it at that. If you don’t want them to have any control over your wedding though, don’t accept any money from them if they do offer in order to get their way.
Families do traditionally help pay for the wedding. There were traditionally certain things a bride’s family and the grooms family paid for. My parents gave us money to spend however we wanted. FH parents want everything their way and have given us no contributions to the wedding. So every time they want something, we say no because we are paying for the majority of the wedding, with help from my parents.

Tradition says yes, but realistically in today's world many families cannot afford to help pay for weddings and I wouldn't ask/expect them to contribute at all. If they offer, that's nice but that tradition is changing. Plan a wedding you and your FH can afford by yourselves and don't let them dictate the guest list at all. They lose all say if they aren't contributing financially unless you want to be nice and incorporate some of their ideas.

If they are not contributing financially to the wedding they should have no say so in who comes.

Ok so this is a double-ended answer I suppose: (1) no your parents are not obligated to pay for your wedding (2) but they ARE obligated to pay if they expect to have a say in things, especially the guest list.

If they’re not paying, have the wedding you want and can afford. You do NOT have to throw a big wedding for them if you are paying for it.

Contrarily, if they are paying for it, you kinda have to allow them to have at least a little input.

If they don’t offer you any money then have the day you want and you’re not obligated to add any of their guests or do anything they want. If they DO offer you money, you have to think about whether or not it’s worth it to accept it. Money comes with strings. If you’re not ok with the strings, don’t accept it!

If they have a particular vision they would like to see, then of course, it should be expected that they would contribute. Maybe not foot the entire bill, but if you plan to stick to their vision, I would think they would want to help!

My family and I were on the same page with what we envisioned our wedding to be (his family as well, but generally the groom's family is a little bit less involved lol) so my parents were happy to contribute as long as they got a little bit of influence in a few things (mainly guest list, menu and food related things).

So I would say that if they "refuse" to help, then you do it your way. If you can't afford to do what they want, it shouldn't be expected of you to follow their dreams. You shouldn't have to put yourselves in massive debt for a vision that you may not even want. And all you can do is say that. "We would love to do _____, but if we are responsible for paying for this wedding ourselves, we financially cannot." Money matters are never easy!

If they want to be heavily involved and invite a ton of guests then yes, they should contribute. If they are not offering to help you out, they definitely don't get a say in any of your plans for your wedding. Being full time students and employees they should know how you live and understand first hand that you cannot invite 200 people. It's super unreasonable to ask so much of your wedding with little help in return. Plan the wedding you want and the wedding you can afford. If they want it different they can contribute.

No pay, no say.

It's strange to me that they would have such specific, and expensive, visions for your wedding and have not offered to help.

When my husband and I got engaged we didn't ask for money from either of our parents, but they offered it and we gladly accepted their help. If they hadn't offered, we definitely would not have asked and we would have just had a small wedding that the two of us could afford.

If your parents expect you to pay for your wedding then they basically get zero say in who is invited, etc. A small wedding can be really nice and more intimate than a larger one. Bonus, if you're paying then you get to do it entirely your way.

Our parents are not helping. I think you should save up to have the wedding you want.

They cannot be expected to pay, BUT if they don't pay they get ZERO say in the planning or guest list. My inlaws aren't contributing (which is FINE) but they kept trying to push more and more people onto the guest list. I finally said very bluntly, the guest list is split evenly right now between your side and my side to reach the max amount my parents are willing to pay for, if you would like to go over that it costs xx per head". Yeah some will say that's tacky, but all of the subtle hints and such at why we couldn't add more people weren't getting through so I laid it out. They were not willing to pay so they didn't add guests.

In the past it was customarily the brides parents who paid for bulk of the wedding. In todays society things are different. Some families contribute and others don't. Please realize that if the parents do contribute then they get some say in things. No money, no say. I would recommend that you and your other half pay for the wedding you can afford. If the grandparents wish to watch their grandson exchange vows then that can be accomplished at the courthouse, a park, a venue, restaurant etc. As for Other people wanting to invite 200 plus people, that is simple enough. If you want them there then you pay the expense for having them there.

If they want to invite all of those guest they will have to pitch in. Secondly dont let your family dictate your day.

Remember it's your day not theirs.

Agree with PP's, no pay, no say. You throw the wedding you can afford and that is it. If they don't like it, they can throw you the wedding they can afford. Or they can just be quiet and accept it.