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Buckets05
Savvy August 2018

Should Thank You Notes be Handwritten?

Buckets05, on August 21, 2018 at 11:08 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21
I got married on 08.11.18 and needless to say it was beautiful and just how I had envisioned it to be. We had around 200 guests and not all of the guests gave us gifts. Should we handwrite thank you notes to all of the guests that have attended the wedding or just the ones that gave us gifts? I was thinking to place a photo of our wedding on stationary paper with nice verbiage and signed by both my husband and I. I read somewhere that I should handwrite each letter. Just asking for advice...

21 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on August 22, 2018 at 7:12 PM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    Definitely handwrite each note but you only need to send a thank you to people that gave a gift or money. The reception is the thank you to your guests for attending the ceremony.
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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    Yes thank you notes should be handwritten, but agree that only needed for gifts rec'd. Some people will do a card with a photo "thanks for coming" type of thing but not necessary.

    Also the reception is not a thank you to guests. It is based on the old practice of a new couple receiving "society" as husband and wife, hence the name reception and why they are the hosts.
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  • C
    Beginner August 2020
    Cassandra ·
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    I have been in contact with my wedding invitaion vendor and requested matching thank you cards. But after reading this thread im thinking I should cancel that order.
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  • C
    Dedicated September 2018
    Cristina ·
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    Yes I would hand write only the ones that gifted something to you guys. I agree that the reception it the "thank you" for everyone cause the free food, fun and favors if your doing them also! Good luck!!! I would invest in a stamp with ya'lls address on it tho, your hands are probably gonna hurt during and after that!
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  • C
    Expert September 2018
    catobx ·
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    Yeah, in all honesty they really should be handwritten. My aunt came to one of my fittings a few months ago and she mentioned another wedding she went to and said she was slightly offended the couple used a typed out template for their thank yous. Mind you, she's from the south, but I do think proper etiquette calls for a handwritten note. It will be tedious and you don't have to do them all in one day....spread it out...but people have traveled near and far and given gifts etc. the least you can do is hand scribe a thank you.

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  • G
    Dedicated January 2019
    Gabby ·
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    Congrats @ yes handwritten is the proper way and only those who gifted.
    Have a return stamp or label made so it cuts down on the writing of the envelope. You will also have it for future use as well.
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  • J
    Expert September 2018
    Jody ·
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    Yes, handwritten for sure. But only for guests that gave you gifts. You don’t need to send thank you’s to all attendees
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  • Christine
    Expert September 2018
    Christine ·
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    Hand write and send to people who gave you a gift.
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  • Buckets05
    Savvy August 2018
    Buckets05 ·
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    Thanks so much everyone!! You all have been helpfulSmiley smile
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  • J
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Josie ·
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    Just people who gave gifts or money!
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  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    Yes, and IMO to all guests, not just those who gave gifts. Everyone who came made an effort to be there and may have spent a lot to do so. A simple thank you goes a long way.


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  • Chariece & Sterling
    VIP January 2026
    Chariece & Sterling ·
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    Thanks this forum was very useful I wasn't sure if all guest get a thank you card. However I recently went to a wedding and when I received the hand written thank you I felt very appreciatied
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  • M
    Expert September 2018
    M ·
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    Why would you need to cancel? I'm thinking about having thank you cards printed also that match my invitations. But they would have thank you on the outside and blank on the inside. So you can personalize what you're thanking for.
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  • Kay
    Super November 2018
    Kay ·
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    Definitely hand write and I would say you only need send to guests who gave a gift or helped in some way...for those who just came, you presumably thanked them at the wedding.

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  • Kay
    Super November 2018
    Kay ·
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    I was at a family friends house and the Mom received a thank you card that was typed out in font meant to look like handwriting, there was a good 15 minute discussion on how rude and lazy that way by all of us, of different ages and we were in NYC and I am originally from South Africa, so I think its a pretty global sentiment to handwrite the cards!

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  • queenbee
    VIP October 2018
    queenbee ·
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    Yes definitely hand write thank you cards for all people who gave you a gift or was in the wedding/helped in any way. People definitely appreciate a nice hand written note.
    One couple whose wedding we went to last year, which FH was a groomsman in and I gave them a sizable monetary gift, sent us a “thank you card” (if you can call it that) 8 months after the wedding. It was addressed only to FH (like I didn’t even attend the wedding), said “thank you” on the front and on the blank inside they had stamped a pre-made stamp that said “thank you” with the couples names and wedding date. They didn’t even sign it! So lazy and unappreciative and you better believe I will never ever forget that card. I’m still not over it lol. I plan to thank my guests properly.
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  • Mrs. Cohen
    Super October 2018
    Mrs. Cohen ·
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    100% Hand write those thank you notes! And I totally agree with everyone else; only send thank yous to those who brought you a gift/money

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  • kymarmck
    Super March 2020
    kymarmck ·
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    I agree with everyone saying that they should be handwritten. We've gotten just a thank you post card in the mail (said thank you with their wedding picture on there) and although it was cute it didn't feel personal.

    Our friends last year handwrote their thank you notes and it made us feel appreciated and it was so cute!

    I agree that only people who gave a gift need to be sent a thank you letter!

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  • P
    Dedicated September 2018
    Pom ·
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    I agree with handwritten. As for the other thing, it's up to you. If somebody attended and they could only afford to give me a card, honestly I'd write them a thank you note. Otherwise, if they didn't bring a card or a gift, I don't really see how'd they'd be on my radar for a thank you note. That's a lot of people to keep track of.

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  • PurdyAikey
    Super January 2019
    PurdyAikey ·
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    I went to a 50th wedding anniversary, and gave a gift and a card, and I have kind of gotten a verbal thank you, but it is very off putting as a guest to not receive a thank you! My cousins also didn't send one and then invited me to a baby shower. Unfortunately, I haven't received a thank you from either event. FH cousin's did a template, and I had made them a very special gift, but that was not mentioned. I am really disappointed with etiquette of all the recent events I have attended. I would definitely hand write something for people who get you gifts/cards/money!

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