Kayla
Just Said Yes September 2022

Should i warn my non-nerd family of our nerd wedding?

Kayla, on June 23, 2021 at 4:54 PM Posted in Planning 1 12
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Hi y'all! My fiance and I are planning our September 2022 wedding and it felt off for us to not have any flair of our nerdy personality in the planning; So we added them. I've gotten these cute planters of each nerdy aspect we love for our centerpieces like a Death Star (Star Wars), the question block (Mario), a moon (Sailor Moon), Navi (Zelda), a D20 (Dungeons & Dragons), and the One Ring (Lord of the Rings). And that is just the start of our personality seeping into the wedding, I fear that my family will be immediately turned off once they come in to see an untraditional take of what they would suspect and start questioning our judgment.

Would it be weird to give a nerd disclaimer on the invitation so our family would know what they are getting into? Or should we not say anything and let our true selves be out there for all to witness?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Mayene, on June 24, 2021 at 9:52 AM
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    Maybe you feel like being "nerdy" is unusual, but Star Wars and comic book stuff is so completely mainstream by this point. And aside from there being no reason to "warn" guests of any decor items (unless there were, like, severed fingers like someone posted about planning to mail them with her invites!), most people don't pay that much attention to decor; what is in the centerpieces certainly won't affect their experience as guests.

    I honestly think it would cause more trouble to include that "disclaimer" on the invitation, because then you open yourself up to everyone's opinion and advice.

    • Reply
  • Tone
    Devoted July 2021
    Tone ·
    • Flag
    Maybe just do a themed invitation? There’s no need to put a line on your invite but if you include some of the nerdy aspects in the invite too then I’m sure they’ll know exactly what to expect. Otherwise though just do what makes you happy, who cares what other people think about your nerdy wedding!! (P.S. We’re having a dnd theme!!)
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    I don’t see why you need to warn anyone. Do what makes you happy and don’t mind the others . The only thing you need to worry about is hospitality and gracious manners.

    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think you should warn anyone - it’s nothing offensive. I agree with themed invites as a cute idea - or the website.
    • Reply
  • Molly
    Expert August 2021
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    We're doing a Disney-themed wedding which can be seen as nerdy and the thought of warning anyone never crossed our mind. Your guests know who you and your FH are and your interests. They won't be shocked to enter the ballroom IMO because they might even be expecting it (a lot of my family joked about how our wedding would be Disney-themed before we even confirmed it).

    I love the ideas you have for your centerpieces. If you are worried I agree with the invite or website being themed.

    • Reply
  • I
    Expert August 2021
    Ingrid ·
    • Flag
    There is no reason to justify the decor you and your FH have chosen. I don't understand. . .how does your family not know your "nerdy" side? Unless you are talking about extended family. Try to incorporate your theme into your invitations, engagement photos and website. With those they should get the theme once they get to the wedding.
    • Reply
  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn't tell them.
    They'll figure it out when they get there. If you tell them before they might try to talk you out of the nerdy wedding that you want.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Definitely don’t share. The peanut gallery will squawk. Be you and your friends & family will get it.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    PS I want to go to your wedding!
    • Reply
  • Sara
    Expert August 2021
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    Just make the invites nerdy and that should be warning enough! Our wedding is FULL BLAST NERD. And I am so excited. From the music to the centerpieces everything is nerd themed in some way. The thing I am happiest about is my husband and I (eloped last year big celebration this year) customer made both wands and swords for the groomsmen and bridesmaids and they won't find out until rehearsal time! It was so much fun in the wood workshop making everything and designing all of them for each person! So excited to see their faces, nerd out girl!!
    • Reply
  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
    • Flag

    I've always heard that the invitation gives guests clues about what to expect at the wedding. In your case, maybe you could work some of the nerdy elements into your invite. They can be subtle or obvious depending on your preference.

    If you are expecting them to cosplay, participate in lightsaber battles, or something, then that may be something you'd want to disclose, but I don't think you need to warn anyone about a nerd-themed wedding.

    • Reply
  • Mayene
    Savvy March 2023
    Mayene ·
    • Flag
    First time posting, but just wanted to say I appreciate this discussion and agree with everyone here!


    We're planning a video game themed wedding but don't feel the need to "warn", especially because our rings already set the tone (I had custom rings made based on aspects of the game) and had the proposal all themed out already, and I'll be designing the invitations and website with pixel art elements.
    I'll probably also mix in classic elements with nerdy elements, but we'll see.
    Have fun! 💖
    • Reply

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