Should i Still Attend

I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding ( the only other person is the maid of honor). I graciously accepted and have been planning a wedding shower with her maid of honor all summer. The week of the shower, I find out that she's basically throwing the shower for herself and only wants me to show up and help decorate and pay for the food. To top it off this is three weeks before the wedding and she just gave me my bridesmaid dress which is 6 sizes too big. I had already ordered a dress and had it so long that I was unable to return it when she changed her mind and wanted a new dress. She agreed to buy the dress since we had already lost money and never asked me what size I needed. I find out it's going to cost me more to get it altered than what it is worth, there are a lot of layers, Etc. Anyways she had all the decorations prepared even down to the very games personalized so I asked her how many games she had because I already had games I needed to make sure I have prices and she just simply responded with, my maid of honor has the prizes. I asked her what we were doing the day of the wedding and when I needed to meet up and she said she didn't know because she would be decorating that morning and then her and her maid of honor we're going to be going to get their hair and makeup done at 10:30 and specified that I was not included in this ( she wanted me to decorate and help get the food ready for the reception while they went and got done up). Anyways, I was under the impression that maybe I was overstepping my bounds as a bridesmaid and she wanted her maid of honor to be in charge of most of the things that they were best friends so I just took a step back and I didn't show up Friday the night before her shower to help decorate. It was obvious to me that she was throwing her shower for herself and she wanted her decorations a certain way. The maid of honor messages me Saturday morning and asked when I'm coming to help with the shower and I said oh about an hour before to help get the food ready. When I get there everybody is giving me the cold shoulder and not talking to me I suck it up and prepare the food chit chat with guest and then after the shower when everybody is gone, they start the cold shoulder again. I have children and my life is busy so I went ahead and took off without saying anything to anybody. A few days later she says something to me about not getting her a gift and I told her that I had planned on throwing the shower for her and that that was going to be the gift from me. The shower gift is normally smaller so I spent more on food then I would have on a shower gift anyway. She just messaged me and told me that she thinks it would be best that that I not be in the the wedding and just come as a guest and mentioned something along the lines of money being an issue for me. I told her that money was not an issue that I had already spent the money, and I wanted to be there for her and to let me know what to do. She has not responded. Should I still attend the wedding or use that quality time for my own family?