Should i step down as Maid of Honor?

The MOH is the person the bride feels is closest to her emotionally, not the 1 that plans parties. It sounds like she views you as an important person in her life. I would remain MOH if you feel like you care for this friend and want to celebrate her wedding day with her. I wouldn't worry so much about not being able to plan pre-wedding parties because you live halfway across the country.

I think you should talk to your friend! Maybe stepping down isn't necessary, but total understanding of your role and what she expects may make things feel a little less off. I agree that the MOH is just who the bride feels closest to, but there's also a sense of responsibility to plan and put things together for events like the showers and bachelorette. I personally would talk to the bride and just let her know that you want to be there for her but don't feel like you can do what she may expect from a MOH - based off of you being so far away and also planning your own, and it really seems like the other bridesmaids have taken on the role anyway. So the bride may not expect all of those things from you.

I would just have a discussion! It seems like you want to be there for her but feel like you're not able to do enough and I think she should understand and appreciate you talking to her about it as best friends!

I don’t think it’s necessary for you to step down! You shouldn’t feel like you don’t deserve to be her maid of honor just because her other bridesmaids have been controlling all of the planning when you can’t physically be around and they won’t include you in plans. I think she knew she wanted to pick you for a reason, and unless you feel like you don’t want to fulfill that position, you should stay as her MOH and just maybe try talking to her about reaching out to the other girls that don’t include you or talk to you in regards to planning for her.

Maid of Honor is usually given to the person closest to the brode, or the one who has known her longest. It is not a job with a set of duties, and you cannot be demoted. To recognize those whp put more time and effort into planning, or someone who planned a party, the bride may get them a bigger individual gift at thank you time, and give you a nice smaller thank you gift ( presented privately.)
Thanks for work done. But except for standing right with her wedding day, and maybe making a speech or a toast, MOH and bridesmaid do the same things. Those who want to work on and give showers do, but friends not in the bridal party, or relatives, can do those as well.
... EW and some other sites follow TV dramas, and go against traditional manners, or etiquette. The bride chooses to honor people by selecting them as bridesmaids or MOH. Each of these people has a relationship to the bride. But MOH is not a boss or supervisor. Any time bridesmaids should do something, the bride should address it with everyone, not ever delegate her relationship to BM to the MOH. WW and other recommend what anyone else considers bad manners. You don't delegate a role of friendship. When bride said you should start a communication line ( per WE,) that was wrong. So they promptly ignored you. The message: you, like BM, are someone the bride trusts and honors. They, and you, need to hear from the bride herself. They probably like you and don't want to raise a fuss. But you are not the bride's second in command, just her oldest friend. Don't step down. bit talk yo the bride about not delegating. I knew which of my friends would be far away til the wedding, and expected little of people at a distance, only the one close to me helping with things. Still, my oldest friend since childhood, was my MOH. Thpugh otget friends stepped to do 3 small showers, andOG, in different areas, none hosted by BP, she retained the closest or longest known title MOH, and my Godmother the Matron of Honor.

I think it's unnecessary for you to step down

I agree with other posters! It's not necessary for you to step down!

Honestly, the only actual duties of the bridal party is the buy the dress the bride wants, and show up to events on time, and ultimately just be supportive! I'm sorry the other girls don't seem to be including you with much, but like you said, it's probably easier for them to plan together since they can do it in person.

You friend chose you to be her MOH for a reason. The MOH is someone the bride feels the closest to, and cares for very much! She doesn't pick who she thinks will do the most planning and throw parties for her! She obviously cares for you greatly, and wants you to be her MOH.

Breathe, rest easy, and keep your title!

If you already expressed concern and she reiterated she’d love to have you, stay on. She’d be hurt if you stepped down.

There is no reason to step down. The bride chose you because you are her bestest friend out of the entire group. It's actually ok that you aren't able to actively participate in parties. The only responsibility you have as Maid of honor is buy a dress, show up on time to support your best friend, sign the marriage certificate as her legal witness and enjoy yourself. The rest is moot, especially if distance and scheduling are issues. Don't worry about it.

Obviously she knows you probably won't be as much help as let's say someone living with her, however all is really required of MOH and bridesmaids is them to get the dress, show up to the rehearsal and wedding, and show your support for the bride to be. As long as you can do that and she has no problem with it I'd say stay the MOH she obviously chose you because she's close with you. Plus a lot of brides/bridesmaids always make this one mistake and that is that it's not the responsibility of the bridal party to help the bride plan her day. The only 2 people that should be planning the wedding is the bride and groom.

My MOH lived across the country , and my other bridesmaids live in my city. I didn’t expect my MOH to come to my shower or even bachelorette. I chose her because she’s my best friend. I did not choose her for what she could do for me.