So my fiancé and I have been planning our wedding for 12/11/26, this is our anniversary of when we started dating and it is both of ours dream date. I recently interviewed for a job (3/1/26) that asked if I have any dates that I would be unavailable to work and of course I gave them my date and sometime for the honeymoon after. Because we were unsure if I would get the job or be approved that time off we decided to wait on sending out invites until I got the job and the dates were approved.
We told our families that we were waiting to hear from the job and once everything was set and confirmed we’d send invitations out and that we were planning for 12/11/26. We didn’t want to tell people a date and then the date not actually work out.
A few days after my interview, on 3/15/26 I received a save the date for my friend’s destination wedding which is on 11/28/26. This is only 12 days before the date we have been planning for.
I do want to attend her wedding, however, just the flights to her destination alone are $2,000 not including hotel, food, or the week of activities prior to the wedding.
My fiancé and I are both financially struggling which is why we were waiting to send out invites and our wedding budget is only $1,000 with our family and friends providing their home as the venue and making our cake etc.
When I got engaged in 2025 I had asked her to be one of my bridesmaids and our other best friend to be my MOH. Both of these girls are like family to me and it is important to me that they are both present.
3 days ago she sent me a video asking me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and because of the complicated situation and stress I’m under (moving states, failed small business, sick dog needing multiple surgeries, financial hardship, etc.) it took me a day to get back to her because I really don’t know how to handle the situation.
Once the job and time off were confirmed I told our other best friend (my MOH) that we had been planning for 12/11/26 and she seemed optimistic and happy about it.
Well yesterday my MOH sent me a video message telling me that because she sent her invitations first that I need to save my budget for my friends wedding and move mine from December 2026 to 2027 if I want to have my dream date or my friends wont be there and that her wedding will be the priority over mine so I won’t get to feel special.
My MOH is suggesting this so that our friend doesn’t get hurt by me choosing a date that she can’t attend. She also thinks that December is a bad choice because of the holidays.
The issue is now not only that I can’t afford to attend my friends wedding even using my wedding budget, but also the time off has been approved and I can’t get the time for her wedding approved off. And my MOH is confident that this will ruin my special day and I’m just at a loss of what to do.
TLDR: I’ve been planning a wedding for 12/11 and before I sent my invites my best friend sent me a save the date for 11/28
