Should i Make Someone Who Didn't Put Me In Her Wedding a Bridesmaid?

I think you should ask her why. I would. I was in that situation before, and I found out my friend didn't want to put the financial burden on me because she knew I was having money problems

Is there a way I can do this without seeming rude? She bought all of the dresses herself and still invited me to all of her showers and bachelorette parties.

I was not in my cousins wedding as a bridesmaid but she had my two sons as ring bearers so she wanted me to walk down with them. But she is in my wedding. I was also very hurt to not be a bridesmaid for her wedding.. I think you may need to have a conversation about how it hurt your feelings and have an understanding. That's what I did.

I honestly don't think you're under any obligation to have her in your bridal party. Choose those closest to you

It sounds like you really want her to be involved, so maybe you should talk to her about why you weren’t a bridesmaids in her wedding.
It might be a financial thing. The 10x BM - were they family? I know some people who come from large families & invite sisters/cousins as BM.

However this is all speculation - the best was to understand is to talk to her about it.

Good luck!

I don’t know if this is the case for your situation, but my fiancée’s family is pretty massive and it is really common in the weddings that they have for the cousins to be invited to be the bridesmaids, even though the bride is marrying in to the family! I think they use it as a way of getting to know the family better since there are so many of them. It might be a situation like that.

If she's your consideration for a bridesmaid despite the fact that she didn't include you, it's clear you really want her around, and that it's nothing out of obligation.

Like others have suggested, talk to her about it-- if she knows you want her as a bridesmaid and have forgiven her then it might be a lot less painful for her to explain why she didn't ask you to be her bridesmaid.

This kind of happened to me with a close friend. My feelings were a little hurt even though I knew logically they shouldn't have been - so I never said anything. At her wedding, she told me she has wanted to ask me but that their wedding party had gotten really big really quick and she just felt like it was out of control.

By the time her wedding came around I was actually thrilled to be a guest and it was nice because I didn't have to get there early, spend money, etc... I just got to have fun. She had asked the photographer to get pictures with just me and her at the reception. It was nice to know.

When my wedding came around I didn't ask her for the same reason. My party got to be 5 and my husband had 6 and I had wanted a smaller party. She was pregnant and I didn't want to put that on her. I just talked to her about it and we were both fine.

Not everone talks about it though. I wouldnt take it personally. And if you want her in your party then you should ask her. It's not a tit for tat situation to be a bridesmaid. You should have who you want in your bridal party.

I had a similar situation, is torn on asking one of my really close friends when we growing up. I kept going back and forth on asking her not. A lot really being with her religion as she not able celebrate certain things then came a financial burden on her. I decided to bite the bullet and ask her the worse she could say is no. I was nervous just because we haven’t talked in over 3 years. I knew I had to ask her or I will regret it. She did end up saying yes and I do feel that this has brought our friendship back to what it was I say go for it. The worst your friend can say is no. I think if you don’t ask her that you may end up regretting it later.

Ask her. People are not necessarily in each others weddings. It is more often one sided, and a person should mot be upset they were not in a friend's wedding party. Because it has to do with many factors, including pressure from both families such that after sisters, SIL, first cousins, there is barely room for more than 1-3 friends to represent a lifetime of friendships. . . . I have 4 sisters, 35 female first cousins who live within 30 miles of my home and are within 5 years of my age, Hubby has 7 sisters. What a minefield, if I chose some over others. So I didn't. But I learned that I am blessed with a MIL, mother and aunts who have seen family messes and put on no pressure. Where your friend may have had family pressures you cannot know. I had my auntie ( godmother)as MOH, and a more distant cousin who is my godchild. Leaving me space for 2 friends. But my wedding was the 40th I was ever in. No way I could have invited the 39 people I was a bridesmaid or MOH for.. . . . It is easy to look from outside at a friend's wedding and say, why not me? But I think you should stop being upset about it, and take the fact it did upset you as a positive thing: It tells you, you really feel a bond over time, and this is a friendship you would like to continue, and carry over to married life. Ask her. Pregnancies, jobs, finances, other commitments, she may want to but not be able to. But either way, you will have made the gesture that says, I feel a connection & I want to keep the friendship. Ask her.

If she is one of your top friends you should have her in your wedding. There are a lot of reasons why people don’t make the cut for friends weddings,siblings, cousins, future SILs....if it really bothers you talk to her about it. But I don’t think you should drop her from yours IF you can’t imagine not having her stand by your side.