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Devoted October 2018

Should i make her my bridesmaid since I’m hers?

Josie, on June 14, 2018 at 11:10 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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My cousin is getting married next month and I am one of her (ten!!!!!) bridemaids. I am getting married in October, and I have not asked her to be mine. Our wedding is much much smaller than hers and I am thinking of just my sister as my maid of honor, and maybe my best friend as a bridesmaid, if at all. We also have a jr bridesmaid but that’s a whole different story lol. Is it wrong to not make my cousin my bridesmaid when I am one of hers? We have been close our whole lives but I just don’t want her as one honestly.

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10 Comments

Latest activity by c, on June 14, 2018 at 2:10 PM

Expert July 2018
Shanee and Brian · on June 14, 2018 at 11:16 AM
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10 bridesmaids! Oh my. You can just explain to her that your wedding is much smaller, so you kept the number at a minimum... But you still love her.
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Expert October 2018
Sara · on June 14, 2018 at 11:16 AM
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There's nothing wrong with not having her as a bridesmaid. There shouldn't be any expectation of being in someone's wedding just because they were in yours.
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Beginner December 2018
Janely · on June 14, 2018 at 11:22 AM
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There is nothing wrong. It depends on you if you would like to increase your bridesmaids size and there are no strings attached. So do what feels natural to you, no pressure. I would say to explain that you are keeping it simple and small. If this makes you happy then it's all about your wishes because it is your wedding day.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on June 14, 2018 at 11:27 AM
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I don't think it's unreasonable! I have 9 bridesmaids, 5 of my best friends and 4 of my fiance's sisters. If any of his sisters got married (2 already are) I wouldn't be mad if I wasn't a bridesmaid if they had a small bridal party. I'd hope I would be included, but wouldn't be hurt if I wasn't!
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Dedicated July 2019
Pearl · on June 14, 2018 at 11:56 AM
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"We have been close our whole lives but I just don’t want her as one honestly."
If you don't want her standing by you on your wedding day, then you don't have to include her in your wedding party. Just because you were in someone's wedding does not mean that they're automatically in yours. If she gets offended by it, simply state that you want a smaller party. If you've been close your whole lives but don't want her as a BM, maybe you could assign her a special role instead? One of my best friends lives 1000 miles away and I would love for her to a BM but it isn't 100% realistic because of the distance. I'm having her do a reading at our ceremony instead and she's thrilled.
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Super October 2017
OrangeCrush · on June 14, 2018 at 12:03 PM
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"We have been close our whole lives but I just don’t want her as one honestly."
You just answered your own question. Please do not ask out of obligation.
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Super August 2018
AugustBride · on June 14, 2018 at 12:03 PM
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You said you didn't want her to be one. It's okay not to have her be one
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Dedicated September 2018
Whippppss · on June 14, 2018 at 12:42 PM
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Nah.......
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Master October 2018
DC Wife 10.27.18 · on June 14, 2018 at 1:22 PM
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Nope. You are not obligated to make her a bridesmaid.
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Super May 2019
c · on June 14, 2018 at 2:10 PM
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No, you absolutely don't have to. Some mutual friends of ours got married and although the wife and I aren't close at all, she asked me to be one of her bridesmaid. For my wedding, she will not be in my bridal party. I'm just not feeling it asking her to be one of mine.
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