Should i make an exception for my Godmother

I completely understand and sympathize with your situation. I have an extremely large family which I am close to, but FH and I really want a small, intimate affair. So I will be the first of the (over 50!) cousins who will not be having a 200-300+ guest wedding. We are inviting our closest friends and have decided to limit family members to parents and siblings only, in order to keep it fair. Unfortunately, I do not think there is a way for you to invite one aunt and not the others without potentially hurting feelings and looking as though you are “playing favorites”. This is likely going to be a situation where you have to decide which is more important to you- inviting one aunt and causing hurt feelings or drama.. or getting married without your godmother present.

If people are hurt or angry, that’s not your fault. While it would be nice to invite everyone, some don’t want the stress or expense that comes with a large guest list. Invite those you can’t imagine the day without and have a family reunion picnic at another time for all relatives to get together.

I truly don't think inviting one of your aunts over all the rest would be good for family harmony.

100% sure it will hurt other uncle's, aunt's feelings no matter the way you break the news. However: the fact this particular aunt is your Godmother is a legit reason to do invite hrr. She has a more special place in your heart, she's more than a 'regular' aunrts and your folks should understand that.

At a kid-free wedding,exceptions for underage siblings of the bride and groom is totally acceptable.

At the end of the day, not having her would make you sad so put your (and partner's!) feelings and wants first.

I tried to respond to this post several times but I’m having a hard time with this app. Anyway, I want to thank you all for your honesty. I asked my mom about my Godmother and she said the same thing about it hurting everyone’s feelings. I’m so sad that my engagement went from a happy affair I was so ecstatic for, to the thing that is causing so many tears. My FH is so angry that everyone is so upset. He says I’m not being selfish but I feel a lot of guilt. Anyway thank you all for the help.

View Quoted Comment Your FH is right: having a vision for your ideal wedding and your ideal guest list is not selfish of you. Their behavior,trying to guilt-trip you IS selfish of them.

Had your wants been selfish, I would have replied this: the wedding planning and the day-of are the only times of your lives when being selfish it's acceptable and even understanding since the 2 of you will be the center of attention... as long as you and your groom remain respectful,polite.

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This guilt is your Catholic upbringing. I know how you feel. But like someone mentioned, invites those you cannot imagine not being there. I did a lot of cutting down due to COVID, but when things opened back up, I realized I never went back to add them. I am having a moderate size wedding of 100 friends and family I communicate with on a regular basis.

If you are paying for the wedding yourself, then don't let anyone guilt you into how you celebrate. Your FH is right, you are not being selfish.

View Quoted Comment Yeah. I feel guilty all the time either way. lol my mom keeps reminding me that she and my Dad will pay for the whole thing but I don’t want them spending that kind of money on my wedding. Thank you for the support

I would like to know how the relationship with your god-mother is now 3 years later. If you care to share how after all the drama of the event has settled down, has it impacted your relationship with her? You stated that you were closer to her, so she probably felt the same way and may have been more hurt than the other Aunts and Uncles that did not get invited. Did she share her feelings?