JessIca
Just Said Yes May 2022

Should i make an exception for my Godmother

JessIca, on October 19, 2021 at 6:34 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
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Hi. I would like opinions about if and how to invite my Godmother to my Small wedding. I have a big family and I really broke tradition to have a small non 200+ person wedding. It is not so much because of budget or COVID as it is about having less stress both leading up to and on the day, although the other reasons are nice too.


We decided to do just immediate family and some friends. My mom is not excited about the idea. I have 4 aunts and uncles on my moms side and 2 aunts on my Dads side, most of which I feel close to. I want to make an exception for my Godmother to attend but I’m worried it will hurt my other aunts and uncles feelings (especially my Dads other sister.) My Godmother is one of my Dads 2 sisters and the only one who lives out of state (until last month when my dads other sister moved to the same city) but I still feel close to her even though I saw her a lot less. Also I thought it would be nice to have the woman who baptized me be there for my Catholic wedding. Is it wrong to make an exception? How do I do it without hurting feelings and playing favorites?

8 Comments

Latest activity by JessIca, on October 21, 2021 at 11:17 PM
  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece ·
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    I completely understand and sympathize with your situation. I have an extremely large family which I am close to, but FH and I really want a small, intimate affair. So I will be the first of the (over 50!) cousins who will not be having a 200-300+ guest wedding. We are inviting our closest friends and have decided to limit family members to parents and siblings only, in order to keep it fair. Unfortunately, I do not think there is a way for you to invite one aunt and not the others without potentially hurting feelings and looking as though you are “playing favorites”. This is likely going to be a situation where you have to decide which is more important to you- inviting one aunt and causing hurt feelings or drama.. or getting married without your godmother present.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    If people are hurt or angry, that’s not your fault. While it would be nice to invite everyone, some don’t want the stress or expense that comes with a large guest list. Invite those you can’t imagine the day without and have a family reunion picnic at another time for all relatives to get together.
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  • J
    January 1895
    Jessa ·
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    I truly don't think inviting one of your aunts over all the rest would be good for family harmony.

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  • Frankie
    Dedicated April 2022
    Frankie ·
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    100% sure it will hurt other uncle's, aunt's feelings no matter the way you break the news. However: the fact this particular aunt is your Godmother is a legit reason to do invite hrr. She has a more special place in your heart, she's more than a 'regular' aunrts and your folks should understand that.

    At a kid-free wedding,exceptions for underage siblings of the bride and groom is totally acceptable.

    At the end of the day, not having her would make you sad so put your (and partner's!) feelings and wants first.

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  • JessIca
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    JessIca ·
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    I tried to respond to this post several times but I’m having a hard time with this app. Anyway, I want to thank you all for your honesty. I asked my mom about my Godmother and she said the same thing about it hurting everyone’s feelings. I’m so sad that my engagement went from a happy affair I was so ecstatic for, to the thing that is causing so many tears. My FH is so angry that everyone is so upset. He says I’m not being selfish but I feel a lot of guilt. Anyway thank you all for the help.
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  • Frankie
    Dedicated April 2022
    Frankie ·
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    Your FH is right: having a vision for your ideal wedding and your ideal guest list is not selfish of you. Their behavior,trying to guilt-trip you IS selfish of them.

    Had your wants been selfish, I would have replied this: the wedding planning and the day-of are the only times of your lives when being selfish it's acceptable and even understanding since the 2 of you will be the center of attention... as long as you and your groom remain respectful,polite.

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  • Veronica
    Dedicated November 2021
    Veronica ·
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    This guilt is your Catholic upbringing. Smiley smile I know how you feel. But like someone mentioned, invites those you cannot imagine not being there. I did a lot of cutting down due to COVID, but when things opened back up, I realized I never went back to add them. I am having a moderate size wedding of 100 friends and family I communicate with on a regular basis.

    If you are paying for the wedding yourself, then don't let anyone guilt you into how you celebrate. Your FH is right, you are not being selfish.

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  • JessIca
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    JessIca ·
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    Yeah. I feel guilty all the time either way. lol my mom keeps reminding me that she and my Dad will pay for the whole thing but I don’t want them spending that kind of money on my wedding. Thank you for the support
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