Should i let my bridesmaid bring her 2 yr old kid?

I would leave it up to her. If she has asked, I feel like you should honor the request. It's her choice how she wants to enjoy the wedding. Some people like to be kid free and others prefer to have their children.

Are you inviting other children? In many circles they are all or none. Can you or her cover expenses for a babysitter for the evening? How does she handle child care other times? You mentioned that one of her kids will be attending, so will she be watching that child or will they leave for a sitter? You have one of two options: invite the younger child but be prepared for upset guests who had to find their own child care if you decide to not invite all children or don’t have the one child attendant so she can enjoy herself as you mentioned and they both can stay home with grandparents or regular sitter.

View Quoted Comment So no children are invited except the flower girl (her oldest) who will only be 8 at the time so not old enough to actually watch her youngest. I thought about asking for him to be the ring bearer but he’s still so young so I worry about her being in the wedding with 2 kids and absolute no help. My fiancé didn’t really want a ring bearer though. I’m just so lost but leaning towards leaving it up to her.

Can you hire a babysitter from care.com for the evening to watch the kids? It sounds like she doesn’t have one at all. Is there something that can be cut to cover the charges?

My fiancé and I are hiring a sitter who will be on site in a nearby room to watch his nieces and nephews (only kids of any of our guests). The groom's 'getting ready' room is being designated as the kid room after the ceremony. He was strongly against having any kids there at all for the same reasons you are describing (wanting his friends and family to enjoy the time, not wrangle children). We went this route mostly to help his one sister who can't afford a baby sitter for her 4 kids since all of the family who would usually watch them will be at the wedding. Also, I wanted to involve his oldest niece and have her be the flower girl durring the ceremony. She is the only one old enough that she will remember anything when she is older.

I don't really think its fair to her for you to say she can bring one kid and not the other. Allow her to bring both and either hire a babysitter (can be a 13 year old neighbor, they'll be at the event so its really a mother's helper) or accept that she'll be doing some childcare at your wedding

View Quoted Comment Based on everyone’s responses I’m going to leave it up to her. If she wants to bring him she can but I can’t afford to add a babysitter. I also don’t know a neighbor or anyone like that. She has help from both grandparents back home if she chooses to leave him for the weekend. We’re trying to keep our list smaller but already it’s at 140 because we both have huge families. I also debated depending on final headcount if Enough people say no then I can invite her dad and he can watch the baby during the ceremony. Overall I’m gonna leave it up to her.

I’ll also add she’s my only friend that has kids. The only other people who even have young kids are my fiancé’s 1st cousins. There’s too many of them to begin with including spouses so next generation cousins are not invited on his side.