Should i keep wedding to family only or make it more of a party with friends included?

I think this is a hard one but ultimately, you should be able to have who you want at your wedding to celebrate with you, whether you have been married before or not.

Maybe there is a compromise where you could invite some close friends? Is there a reason besides that he's been married before that he just wants family there- is cost the issue as well?

Talk to him openly and see if there is some wiggle room because you don't want to have regrets.

I agree with PP that you need to find a compromise. Family and close friends sounds like a happy medium.

I think you two need to sit down and talk about what you want. He needs to realize that just because he’s had a wedding doesn’t mean this one is any less important or valid, and since it’s your first (and only) wedding, it should also be what you envision.

I agree. Ask him why he feels that way. Same boat bc I thought my FH and I agreed on a small wedding. I had a plan in place, spent a lot of time contacting and getting pricing for him to hate the idea and ask what happened to us going to the courthouse? I told him I never wanted that and I had always wanted a ceremony where I wear a dress and pictures to look back on. He admitted that he hated the idea of all eyes on him and back story he never really believed in marriage (dad's divorcing wife 3) and he just wanted something him and I. We agreed to elope just us two but he knows I want a ceremony with an officiant and pictures...plus we agreed to do a post elopement celebration afterwards. I think maybe it is because he's already had a wedding so maybe the excitement is not there or like some people they just do not get happy about weddings. You need to find out but also express what is important to you because you pushing aside completely what you want will make you miserable. I refused to simply go to the courthouse LOL. Talk to out and come to a happy medium. Plus you can still have some informal get together with your friends prior to the wedding too.

We had a family member (her first marriage) who married a man who had been married before (a HUGE "society" wedding, and the eventual break-up was devastating for him at the time). When he and our relative got engaged, he had no interest in a traditional wedding, but realized it was important to her. They compromised on a lovely, traditional wedding at an Inn in upstate NY, with about 50 guests. On "his side," it was literally his parents and siblings, so 5 people. "Her side" was 45 friends and family members (with the majority traveling cross-country to attend). He seemed to be quite happy with her having the wedding she wanted, but also relieved to not have to deal with his concerns about the wedding having a "been there, done that" feel for guests who had attended his first wedding.... I agree with others, like in all things in a marriage, communication and compromise is needed. Good luck!

Thank you all. I appreciate all your suggestions and thoughts!

I spoke with him again and he believes that the simpler it is the more fun and enjoyable it will be for everyone. Also his company is doing as well this year as they have in the past 10 years, so when it comes to money, he doesn't want to spend a ton because he isn't making as much right now. When I speak to him about my plans for photography, food, and the invite list, he fears that it will all be too big and stressful. He even commented, about who would be responsible

for making sure certain things happen, to which I had to explain to him, babe, they have a person called a day of coordinator. If I plan it all out, it is their job to execute it.

I told him that I just don't want to plan what I want, and then for him to be right about it being too big and to not enjoy his day too. He did acknowledge, that I'm a very detail oriented person, and I actually plans events for work all the time, so I must know what I'm doing and he promises that if it's a tad bigger than he had in mind, he will still have a great time. So my goal is to try my best to keep it sweet and simple, but still classy.

That’s a tough spot. Just because he’s been married before doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get the day you’ve been dreaming of and to celebrate with friends too. I think you need to talk to him and tell him that’s not fair to you. You also want him to be happy to so maybe not over-extend invites to people you’re not that’s close with so just close friends.

Definitely compromise! It’ll be hard, I’m currently working through that but in the end you’ll your day will be great!