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Jackie
Dedicated October 2020

Should i invite this friend?

Jackie, on December 12, 2019 at 6:12 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9
I have a friend who I haven't seen in approximately 10 months. I feel like I've been putting all the effort into this friendship by texting her and trying to make plans to catch up. I understand that life gets crazy and busy, so I'm not taking this personally, but I'm also wondering if I should skip giving her an invite to my wedding due to going so long without talking or seeing eachother?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on December 15, 2019 at 11:20 AM
  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
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    How do you feel when she bails on you every time?

    I would say no. It takes 2 to make a relationship work. She's not putting in the effort to come see you when you are trying. I understand life gets in the way, but after a certain point it's tiring dealing with other people who don't care enough for the friendship.

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  • Christine
    Expert September 2020
    Christine ·
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    Don't make the decision based on not seeing someone in 10 months (I have plenty of friends I haven't seen in years who I'm inviting, because I don't live in the states I went to college and grad school in). Focus on whether you still value her friendship. It is totally fine to not extend an invitation to someone who hasn't put any effort into staying in touch with you and for whom you feel the friendship has started to sour.

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  • Alma
    Devoted June 2022
    Alma ·
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    I just made a decision like this today.

    I have a friend I see maybe once a year due to schedules conflicting. I had not seen her in months, well I saw her today at the gym. It was a hard decision because I didn't want to just x her out. But I considered if she would know anyone else at the wedding? Also she has never even met my FH and we've been together for 3 years.

    Ultimately it would be your decision how important that friend is.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Well it sounds like she doesn't want to make an effort to hang out with you. I have a friend that I recently just decided to stop asking her to go out because she won't bail with that I noticed that I was always the one inviting her but not the other way around. I understand that you may not see someone for months but if you at least still keep in contact and have a close relationship that is different as opposed to a one-sided friendship. I would maybe think of do you want to have her see the happiest day of your life when she doesn't say be putting in effort into maintaining your friendship.
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  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
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    Honestly, I feel like if you have to ask this question then you already know the answer. I'm just saying that because I did the same a while ago. FH and I originally chose October 26th as our wedding date, but something crazy happened with the first venue and we had to push the wedding back. I had 2 friends that I really wanted to invite and I texted them about it and gave them the details. They were "so honored to be included", well that date has come and is long gone. As October was getting closer, I never received a text or call about the wedding or a check in to see how things were going. The only reason they know that it was pushed back is because on October 26th my cousin wrote on my FB wall "isn't it crazy that today would have been your wedding day...4 more crazy months of planning to go!!" They both liked the comment, but still never check in or anything with me. I've come to the conclusion that we are just social media friends 🤷🏾‍♀️.
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  • Jackie
    Dedicated October 2020
    Jackie ·
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    Thank you, I appreciate you sharing that. It's a hard decision but you're right.

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  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
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    It's going to hurt, I can tell you that for sure. It looks like your wedding is in October, I would stop texting her first and just see if she makes contact first. Not the Merry Christmas or Happy New Year's texts. I mean something like her texting you to hang out and catch up. I would give her until about April and if not then she made the decision for you.

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  • Simone
    Dedicated April 2021
    Simone ·
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    I personally wouldn’t but you have to think long and hard about if you would regret excluding her.
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  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
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    Is she in a different city from you? If she's local and you havent seen each other in 10 months then yea i wouldn't invite her. I'm in a similar situation with someone but it wouldn't feel right to not invite her.

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