Should i Invite my Sister?

You said it perfectly, "Family or not, if there is no support, you will not be there." That answers the question for me.

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Thank you Caytlyn

Invite her. If she “can’t/doesn’t/won’t attend” then don’t worry about it any longer.

I know that sounds easier said than done, but I had to make a decision regarding inviting co-workers.

You'll have enough to worry about on your big day (weather, dress, vendors, etc.) than stressing over "which" sister will show up or show out. She's demonstrated to you who she is and what she'll do if she doesn't get her way or the attention.... and she's said how she feels about you. It's not about you being the bigger person... sometimes it takes more courage and strength to walk away from a toxic person that to keep letting them poison you. Be Blessed, Be Happy and enjoy your life!

You dont have deal with anyone that is negative, including family. Choose happiness

View Quoted Comment Thanks Mrs. Bubba

View Quoted Comment Ingrid, thank you. So can I ask you, do you think I should invite my mother? She does not approve but will support what I choose to do, but will be kinda fake about it. If that makes sense.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Lorna. Well said. ❤

This is your and your FH's special day! Having only people that genuinely love you both and support your marriage will make the day so much more special. I say because of this you shouldn't invite her. Maybe after the wedding you both can try and settle your differences but from what you mentioned she will most likely not be on her best behavior on your special day and that is not worth the risk!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Shayna. I agree. I really so not want our day ruined. We've survived a lot and we deserve this day.

This is a terrible position to be in and I'm so sorry you've had to deal with so much drama surrounding your wedding! I'm not sure what your relationship with your Dad was like, but regardless I'm sure it's hard enough to not have him there. i have a sister I don't really see eye-to-eye with on just about anything. But we're civil to each other and she's never tried to ruin any major events in my life. I actually had her in my bridal party and it was fine for me. I do agree with what Lorna said above... she's clearly demonstrated she doesn't support you or your decisions and you don't need that toxicity in your life, especially on your big day. I say don't invite her. I don't understand why your family can't support you and be happy for you?! Unless your FH is treating you terrible or abusing you or something crazy like that, there's no reason they can't just set their differences aside and support you and your love! If you're happy, that's all that matters!!!

I suggest maybe talking to your youngest sister and getting her opinion. She's heard your 34 year old sister complain about you and said horrible things. See what she says.. but overall, I say don't invite your sister as she won't be happy for you anyway and will most likely try to steal the spotlight and cause all kinds of drama and heartache for you. It's difficult sometimes, but walking away from people who only cause you pain may be more difficult. I would recommend inviting your mother, if you're on speaking terms and there are no hard feelings. You can't have people there you didn't invite once the day is over.

I think the last sentence of your post says it all. You've already decided you don't want her there, for many reasons. So, maybe you're just feeling a little bit of guilt over not wanting to be the bigger person--again. I don't blame you one bit, but you don't have any reason to feel guilty. Your sister has done this to herself, with her rudeness and nasty mouth. Maybe later on you could patch things up and move on, but not now.

I don't know if it's too late for this, and it is kinda petty. But she didn't see fit to include you--even in the knowledge--of her wedding. Maybe you should give her the same. If it's possible to keep the details of the when and where from her, I would do that.

View Quoted Comment I'm going to speak from a parents perspective first...my oldest daughter got married last August, I didn't approve of the choice but I wouldn't have wanted to miss it for the world. I chose to support her and her choice even though I disagreed because I dont want to miss out on anything. A healthy relationship between me and my children are of the upmost importance.
Now, from a daughter's perspective. I got married at 19 to my now ex husband. My mother didn't approve but was there in support. I didn't realize it at the time because we didn't have the best relationship but I'm so glad that she was there.
So, I would definitely invite so that your conscious is clear.

View Quoted Comment Tara, thanks for your response. Very insightful. And for the record Ladies, my FH is not a jerk and is not abusing me and doesn't treat me horrible. He has actually been my Rock and a great supporter through my rough times. My family just wants me to do and be with whom they want me to be with. That's all. I am leaning more toward not inviting her because I really don't want the drama. If she were to mess up my beg day, I really don't know how I would react after all she has done to me. I don't want my son seeing that. Also my youngest sister feels the same. She is hurt that things have to be thus way between us but she sees my point of view and supports me. She acts way more mature than the 34 year old. My mom, we speak, but she acts really fake and phony to my FH and I hate it. Its such an awkward space to be in. I am just so thankful that his family is supportive and they love me, we have really great friends and I just want us to enjoy our day.

View Quoted Comment Hey Cristy, you are right. I do feel guilty about not wanting to be the bigger person again. I'm always the bigger person. And I don't mind it, I'm just tired of being it in the situation when I know deep down I do no wrong to her. Thanks for the insight. Very helpful. ❤

View Quoted Comment Ingrid. OMG thank you sis. That was Very Helpful. To read this and gain the perspective from both sides was what I needed. Know I have to figure out my brother. Lol

View Quoted Comment Girl it's your day and you need to do what's best for you and your FH! If your family can't see how happy he makes you and how good he is to you, you certainly don't need to go them there. It's your day and you guys should do what makes you happy!!! I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax and enjoy the planning process! Congrats your engagement and enjoy your big day with your FH!

Stephanie, this is tough and I’m sorry that this is your experience. I, too, don’t have the most easiest of relationships with my siblings. I won’t be inviting my dad or my “sister” either. I hate the need to always be the bigger person. I am christian and I don’t know your spiritual beliefs. But, for me, my Christianity pushes me to be that bigger person especially, because it’s not in my character. Sometimes, being the bigger person feels like such a curse because we often forgive and excuse those that aren’t deserving and don’t do the same for us even when our “mistakes” don’t compare to theirs. I pray you find peace. Not just for your wedding day decision but for life too. Discord with siblings and parents is never easy and comes with bittersweet life moments.

It is important to maintain your peace and your want to have only those who genuinely support you and your FH on that day. Trust me, I know the desire to only see those faces in the crowd. However, I’m also kill them with kindness petty. Very petty. You don’t like me? Cool. My good morning to you will be extra nice. Let me watch you cringe because this joy I have, you didn’t give it and you can’t take away. So, invite them all. Watch them, watch you marry the love of your life, beautiful in that beautiful dress, dancing your night away to your blessed and forever marriage. They want to act up? Leave. Period. And keep it moving. However, I understand it’s not that easy and you’ll have to decide what you’ll do regardless of our suggestions. Just make sure that whatever you choose, you won’t regret. And that regret isn’t about their actions either but how you’ll assess your character afterwards.

I hope this helps.

View Quoted Comment Tara, thank you so much love ❤❤❤❤❤

View Quoted Comment Brandi, beautiful response. Thank you so much. I do feel obligated to be the bigger person because I always have, that's how I was raised, and I too was raised in a christian home. I would regret not having my mom there, but my sister, not so much. If we were in a good place, she'd be my maid of honor, but the place we are in, I really want to stay away from her. Honestly I've had so much peace in my life now that o have backed away. Thanks so much. I am going to pray about it and let it go. ❤