Hey everyone, so this is the situation. It's a bit long.
My fiance and I are getting married in Fall of 2019. We know that our list is not going to surpass 60 people; we're pretty comfortable with that. A lot of my fiance's family won't be in attendance because my fiance finds them to be bad-minded and very negative. Me on the other hand, my family makes up the bulk of our list. One individual I was not planning on inviting was my absent godmother.
My godmother messaged me on Facebook on the 24th of July asking me what's new. Mind you, I haven't spoken to this woman for 5 years prior to her message. I obviously told her what was new, which was my engagement. She didn't seem really affected by my news. She just asked when the big day was, and I told her. Never invited her. Simply just told her. She said "Well, it seems like you have your life together, and you know what you want. We'll talk another time." And that was that.
Fast forward a couple days. When I told my grandmother I was getting married, she was ecstatic, wanting to tell everyone about my upcoming wedding. I told her not to tell many people, but I knew deep down she wouldn't be able to keep it to herself for very long. She called me a few days after I initially told her about our wedding, with extreme excitement in her voice. "Your godmother is so excited for your wedding. She said she's going to make up for all the years she was never there for you. She told me she is going to make sure your wedding is beautiful!" Honestly.. I didn't know what to think at the time. I said okay grandma, not really taking it all in at the time. So then my grandma insisted I speak with my godmother so we can discuss the plans.
When I finally spoke to my godmother on the PHONE this time, we were on the phone for 45 minutes or so. She did not seem to exude any excitement about my wedding. She was asking a bunch of questions about the wedding, which I found understandable. (Quick thing to note, my godmother is married to my uncle, which is my grandma's brother.) While we were talking on the phone, she asked "How can I help?" So... I took this question with a grain of salt. I told her I don't usually like asking for help, but I did tell her about my venues I've been looking at and what not. But while talking to her, I did get like really strange vibes off of her.. Like she was forced to talk about this.
We ended up ending the conversation with how she was going to talk to her friend in a neighboring city to see if they can help me with a banquet hall. I appreciated it that, and we ended the convo. Well, 2 days later, my fiance and I found our venue we wanted. We went there, met the owners, took pics and videos of the venue, and realized this is we want the reception to be. I messaged my godmother out of courtesy to tell her we found the venue... so she called me back, and asked me a bunch of questions about this venue. She asked a really weird one like "If I help you with the deposit, is it refundable?" I thought that was weird.. like I'm your goddaughter, if I said I found a place, and you genuinely wanted to help, why would you want to know if you could get your money back? She knows how the banquet hall industry works. I told her the deposit is non-refundable. She seemed disappointed. Anyway, She said I sounded really excited... I was like of course I'm excited! She said she will talk to my uncle and see what they can contribute, and how I should send her a video on Facebook of the venue. We then ended the phone convo.
Immediately I sent her the video. She commented saying it's a really nice place, and I said yeah, my fiance and I love it so much. Then she says "Well, I will speak to your uncle and see what we can contribute, IF ANYTHING because it's such short notice."... I thought that was a weird comment as I don't understand how she could have thought it was short notice.... I told her whatever she felt comfortable with helping with, would be much appreciated. (Was that something wrong to say?)
Anyway, my partner and I weren't relying on her or anything so we paid the deposit on the venue. Once again, as a courtesy, I messaged her and told her don't worry about any of the expenses, it's been taken care of... and all she messages back is a thumbs up... once she did that, I got a very weird feeling about this. I all of a sudden don't want her there.
Being caught up with all of the wedding planning, all of the new feelings that came with it, I let this situation get out of control. I do not know what the conversation was that my godmother and grandmother had, but my godmother does not seem genuinely happy for me. She's making my wedding seem more of a business venture. I never was going to invite her, but I didn't want to just come out and say that to my grandma. She and my godmother are very close. It's her sister-in-law, after all. Now, I think that my godmother probably assumes she is coming. I do not want her there. She isn't happy for me. She has NEVER been there for me, ever. I could probably count on my fingers and toes how many times in my entire life I've seen her. Any time I would talk to her, it would be ME reaching out to her. Now, she was trying to hold money over my head. Telling me make sure I have a BACK UP PLAN in case she can't help.. as if she determines whether or not my wedding is going to be successful.. I got caught up, and now I do not want to send her an invite. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Everyone, please be honest, and let me know what you guys really think. I would thoroughly appreciate it.
