Andrea
VIP April 2020

Should i invite her?

Andrea, on November 23, 2019 at 9:23 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7
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My MOH lives with my godsister. Also in the house is my godsister's young son, her mother, two younger sisters, and her brother. I love my godsister, however I've not put her on my guest list for several reasons. One, we don't really talk much anymore. We just don't. Could be the distance, could be something else. I don't know.


One thing is for sure. I wouldn't mind inviting my Godsister, her brother, her son and her two youngest sisters but I have a major issue with her mom. Her mom has known me for my entire life and our relationship has always been somewhat strained. In 2016, my MOH took my daughter to her house at the time for the weekend, and my daughter came back with a huge bump on her head (this was the second time that happened while at that house). When I was talking on the phone with my MOH about how my daughter got the bump on her head, I could hear my godsister's mom LAUGHING at the situation. Saying "Are they really angry about that? It isn't a big deal. It isn't really that big of a bump." My daughter was BARELY 2 at the time. The bump was enourmous and I had to explain to her daycare how she got that bump. When I heard the woman laughing at my daughter, I blocked her on all social media accounts, deleted her phone number and have not spoken to her since. My MOH UNFORTUNATELY still lives with them. So I hope you guys can understand why I don't know if I should invite my godsister and her household. I can't stand her mom and her presence would be a disturbance for me. After how she treated our child and the situation, I can't have someone like that around. I just wish they all didn't live in the same house. So, I don't mind inviting the above mentioned people EXCEPT their mom. We both loathe her. Should I just let it go and not invite any of them? What do you think?

7 Comments

  • Yoice
    Rockstar March 2019
    Yoice ·
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    Oh this is a difficult one. Can you simply invite your godsister? Extending the invitation to her sisters, her brother and son and not mom is wrong. Not inviting her is kind of odd as well but I can justify just inviting her. You want closest people to you there therefor you can’t have the entire family. Maybe have her and her son as her date.
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  • Andrea
    VIP April 2020
    Andrea Online ·
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    Thank you so much, Yoice for your input. I really appreciate it a lot!!

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  • T
    Devoted May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    So, this woman is your Godmother? Is your MOH related to them, and also a Godsister?

    I think, of MOH is not related, I agree with pp and would either just invite her, or just her and your Godsister. While inviting everyone but the mother would certainly make your point that you don't like her, it could make things awkward for everyone else involved. She sounds awful, and I'm sure she'd take the opportunity to ruin everyone's day.

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  • Andrea
    VIP April 2020
    Andrea Online ·
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    Hey Theresa,

    No, the woman is not my godmother. LOL I know complicated. My godfather is the father of my godsister. So yeah!! My MOH isn't related to any of them at all and isn't blood related to me either, but she's family regardless and I love her dearly. My MOH went to high school with my mother and some of my uncles and my dad, so MOH has known and taken care of me my entire life. Thank you so much!! I appreciate your feedback!

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  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
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    Can you please explain to me what a godsister is? I'm really lost

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    You are talking multiple generations in one home. Think of it like a 22 year old who was at school, her own apt, or the army, who moves back to her parents home. She can be invited to things separately from her parents. Most parties she goes to, and weddings, will be for friends, family of her SO, whatever. They will not even consider her parents. And the parents will be invited to parties, to play bridge, to weddings, without the daughter. She is now grown and a different social unit, no longer automatically included with parents, since late teens . . . . . Your god-sister and family , and her mom, live in the same household, but are considered separate social units. If you invited the mom, it would properly be with her own invitation, recognizing she is an adult, not her daughter and son in law's dependent. And if you invite the GS and husband, kids , you need not invite the mother also. If you invited a school friend from Jr. And Sr. High and her current SO, you would not invite the parents, even if neighbors, unless you wanted them there because even considered separately, you felt close to them whether or not daughter came. ...Forget the feud, however important, for a few minutes. Under standard etiquette, you need not invite her, along with the rest, unless you want her even if the others cannot come, because you care for her so much. So why use the feud as justification if anyone asks. Say, as with many of my friends, I am close to GS and her husband and kids, but not to their parents. Period . If that is reason enough, and proper etiquette, why invite criticism from others about your ( understandable) issues about your daughter? Don't over think things, or make them more difficult. And feel no guilt.
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  • Andrea
    VIP April 2020
    Andrea Online ·
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    Thank you Judith for your thorough feedback!

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