Should i invite guests i dislike to an intimate wedding

Unfortunately, they are a package deal. While I don't know what he has done, but if it's something unforgiveable, abusive, etc. then he will be apart of your life as long as he is with your friend, and as long as you remain good friends with this person. Putting your friend in the spot of you vs her SO isn't the way to go IMO. More often than not, not inviting a partner is seen as a slight and usually doesn't go over well.

Does your friend know how you feel about her SO? If so, maybe mention to her how you hope everyone can behave (hint hint). If not, you'll probably have to decide if its more important to have her at your wedding (with him in tow), or to not have him at your wedding (and lose her as your guest). Unless she agrees to come without him which of course we don't know all the details.

Is he toxic and rude or abusive in any way? That would be the only reason it would be okay to invite your friend and not him. If you just don’t like his personality or you’re worried he’ll try to sell insurance then you still have to invite him. I know it sucks but they’re a packaged deal

I am not seeing how to get out of that one. If they were dating and not living together, you could possibly get away with it. But in this scenario I don't think it is possible. I am sorry. It is so awful to have to waste space and money on someone you can't stand, especially when you are trying to keep it intimate.

Whatever the reason is for you not liking your friend's partner, be prepared that, that can often be a friendship ending move. Regardless of how small your wedding is, unless government restrictions mean that you are not allowed to have more than X people, not inviting the partner is a deeply disrespectful move and you will possibly lose your friend if you don't invite their partner.

They live together and have been together for five years. Barring nothing abusive/illegal yes, you invite him.

They aren't "dating", they're in a long term relationship. Unless he's abusive or violent, he needs to be invited with her. Would you consider not inviting either of them?

Unless he is abusive, violent or racist, a significant other is a package deal. Either invite him and ignore him at the wedding or don’t invite her at all.

View Quoted Comment It’s to the point where we have considered not inviting either of them. But she’ll eventually find out and it’ll be awkward anyway. He’s not abusive, but has made it clear in the past that he dislikes my fiance & I and didn’t want my friend to maintain a friendship with us. The idea of inviting someone to our wedding who we know dislikes us was just seemed weird. Thanks for all your advice, it seems I really am inevitably stuck with him :’(

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately that happens. Based solely on your description, it sounds like he is abusive toward her by trying to isolate her and cut out friendships she already has that are otherwise healthy. That’s not something people can or do recognize when they are in the middle of the situation. How close of a friend is she on her own, not taking him into consideration? It also sounds like he would maybe punish her or not allow her to attend if she is invited by herself, because as you mentioned he doesn’t like you and wants the friendship to end. Best of luck!

View Quoted Comment Its amazing how much you figured out from so little info! She was my best friend from college, but when she first started dating him I didn’t see or speak to her for 3 years. As far as I knew, she wasn’t speaking to other friends either. I remember inviting her to celebrate my birthday as usual, but her responses during this time was “he has work and i’d feel bad having fun without him.” I would eventually learn that it was actually because he would get mad at her for having fun without him. And not too long ago she reached out to say “i can hang out more often now.” If it was his intention to isolate her it definitely worked because i feel severely disconnected from her. This disconnection is the reason I considered not inviting either of them, but I will because it is still a friendship I value. 😥

Based on everything you've said, including the disconnect you feel with your friend, I would not invite either of them, and just tell your friend that you're having a very small intimate wedding and you don't have a budget to include everyone you'd like but would love to grab dinner with her after or something.

I feel like I wouldn't invite either of them if he dislikes your FI. Be there for your friend if she decides to leave this situation, of course.