Should I Invite FMIL to Cake and Food Tasting?

How involved do you want her to be? If you're happy to have her there, invite her along. But if you feel like she will try to take over (and that's the impression I'm getting from reading your post), there's nothing wrong with going just as a couple.

For my daughters wedding my husband, myself and her FIL's all went to the tasting.

Is your mom going. My fmil went because my mom went otherwise neither would have came

I would have her go if your Mom, or someone you are close with, also comes to keep things equitable.

If she has experience wedding planning then she might ask questions you don't know to ask

If you want to do it alone then you don't have to invite her. You can always ask her to write you a list of questions to ask.

I've been taking my mom to a lot of things, she's been really good about letting me and FH decide on things, and offering her opinion on things we're not sure on. My FMIL on the other hand is kind of ridiculous with just shoving her opinion around and not listening to what we say. I love her, but she already had a wedding so I only ask her opinion on things that don't really matter to me.

She is a little opinionated. I told her we could save money by eliminating one of the passed around appetizers and she told me from a wedding planner's perspective that this wasn't a good idea. It will be just my fiancé and I and her if I decide to allow her to go. My mother isn't coming simply because our wedding is our of state and it is a long drive for her.

I had my tasting last week and they allowed us to bring 4 people. We brought my dad and some friends. I wish we had limited it to maybe just one person. There was too much going on at the table, too much passing around the food to really concentrate on what we were tasting and the presentation. Bring her if you value her opinion but don't let her take over.

I feel like if you wanted her there you wouldn't be writing this post. Just tell her that you guys are going to go alone because you'd prefer to do it as a couple. It would be different if you had your mom going and said no to her.

My parents paid for our reception. Only my husband and I went to the tasting. My parents wanted us to make all the decision. The venue only gave free tastings to two people. My mother rationalized that if they paid for her and my father, they would also end up paying for the in-laws. MIL is very opinionated. She's the reason why my Dad said throughout the planning process "No pay, no say!" We agreed - the less opinions the better.

My fear would be that she would take over the wedding planning. If she really likes entrees a, b and c, but you and FH like entrees d, e and f, will she get pissed off and pull the wedding planner knows best card?

We decide the food before we go. She has no say in that. She would just come to the tastings just for the heck of it and for us to decide if we need more salt or something added to it. She has pulled that shit but I am very open with her and I have no issue telling her that isn't how it will be, lol.

It is free and she is housing us for the week and has paid for the DJ. My parents are helping more so than his family which is no big deal, we are gracious for that, but it is sad my parents cannot be more involved for that reason.

Free* meaning if she would come it would be free for her to do tastings as well.

Personally, I love my FMIL almost like my own mother. So I'd love to include her in everything I can, but if that wasn't the case then I'd probably just ask her to let us enjoy our time alone.

For our tasting it was just FH and me. I really liked that.

I brought my dad and his parents came too. It was fun and they all got to meet each other and hang out. The food was AMAZING which helped too. I had worked with the caterer in advance and chosen specific items for us to choose between. It was a lot of pre planning but it made it very easy and I only got the input on things I wanted. We did alcohol tasting together as well which was also fun and everyone got to choose something. Taking them to things that were less...controlled...like rentals, was too overwhelming because there were too many options and too much input.

I need my mom for everything I do, but we're really close. My FMIL is awesome, so I've been trying to include her in a bunch of stuff.

I should add that all have been pretty good with not pressing their opinions on me.

I am doing my best to include FMIL in the planning or at least keeping her in the loop.

She did not come to cake tasting or food tasting but that was because we were in FL at the time (wedding in FL, we live in OH, FMIL lives in MI).

We did plan wedding dress shopping near her so she got to be there with me for that. She also assisted in planning the centerpieces and went shopping for them with us.

She had a hard time when FSIL got married a year ago. She wanted to be a part of everything but FSIL's indecisiveness caused some upsetting moments. It's not that she didnt want her mom involved, its that she really just wasn't thinking that she would care. I tried to offset that a little.