Should I invite FH family to bridal shower? Stressed out about it.

If it helps: i invited all of fh's close local female family to my shower. Fmil, fgmil, both future sil, as well as his cousin, and his aunt. His family is really close, and i feel like inviting some and not all of the local gals would have been a huge slap in the face.

They are all local. 5-10 mile radius from us. Ugh. I feel like, the people in my side are my closest friends and family that are genuinely happy for me and wish me the best along with his immediate family. That is why they are my guest. But for the others I'm just not feeling it from them. That's the only thing that's bothering me. A bridal shower is suppose to be fun and happy for everyone and me. I know it's all about not hurting his family's feelings but what about my feelings when we weren't invited to his cousins kids party or his uncles bday party or a family bbq. I felt left out. We were not included but they'll question why they weren't invited to my bridal shower and I'll look like a B for that? And btw, my FH is taking it personal too.

Depends how close they are. Typically the grooms family would throw one for you if they're farther away and then you wouldn't have to invite them to this one. It does kind of sound like you want to be included in their activities though, so I would invite them and maybe this would start the tradition of including each other more.

Of course I want to be invited to their events. I've always wanted to be apart of his family since the beginning. I had a big baby shower of 110 guest. They were all invited and showed up. I had to cut down my friend list to have his family included. I thought that would bring me closer to the family. Even after that, no invites. No "how are you Maria?" His cousins act like they don't know me after showing up to my baby shower. I thought maybe it's me. Do I seem unapproachable? So, I started taking the initiative to say hi to everyone by name and start a conversation. I have shown nothing but respect. And still nothing. Making me feel like crap. That is why I'm having this dilemma with my bridal shower guest list.

I am in a similar boat, except that FH is not close with his family, other than his one brother and mother. His parents are divorced and he had a tough childhood with his family. As much as I dislike most of his family, we plan to invite them to everything, however we also know they won't show up, even if they say they will, because that's just how they are. We are taking the high road by inviting them, that way they can't complain about not being included.

Any woman invited to our wedding is invited to the bridal shower.

Seriously, FHs family are EXACTLY like that.

They do the hi and bye at family events but make no attempt at holding conversation with me, and he has alot of aunties/uncles/cousins. The immediate family though, his parents siblings and grandparents are amazing, and i think of them like my own family.

At our engagement party, all his side were invited, mainly because it was held at FH home and all my family are miles away and couldnt attend.

That seems to have helped though, since then ive been getting invited to more things, even the aunties bachlorette. Maybe the same will happen with you? As long as youve made the effort at some point thats all that matters

I only invited his mom. When you start expanding into extended family it makes it hard to draw a line. I would stick to mother, sisters, grandmothers (??? I think the only showers I've been to the FH didn't have any grandmothers left so I'm not actually sure about this one). If he has a lot of aunts and you don't really know them, then I wouldn't include them.

I have never met a few of his Aunts and they are in other states, however we invited them to make them feel included. They don't have to send a gift or anything, just wanted to make sure they didn't feel like they were being excluded from anything. This was especially important since FH mother decided to not be a part of anything. I wanted to invite his other family to make sure that they know this isn't on us, this is on her.

FMIL and my mom are co-hosting a joint shower with both sides of the family...so I let them come up with the guest list. Basically just about every woman that was invited to the wedding will be invited to the shower

My sister and FSIL are co-hosting a shower. I am debating inviting some of my side of the family. I just really don't like some of the people on my dad's side. My aunt especially isn't any fun and would probably be tut-tuting the drinking and/or complaining the entire time. On one hand I want to say, it's your shower invite who you want to invite. On the other hand I completely understand the politics of your dilemma.

Tough situation. Sorry his extended family has not be warm to you. I think if they're a woman they need to be invited to the shower. If they've done something particularly egregious, then maybe not?

I was in this same situation! FI's family is Mormon which means. SO. MUCH. FAMILY. And they're all very close. 3 of his cousins are getting married in April and all the family is invited to each of their showers (including me), so I felt like I HAD to invite everyone, too. Problem? His family alone was literally over 50 people. I didn't feel like I could do that to the BM who is hosting my shower.

Solution?

I talked to FMIL about it. I asked her what she thought I should do. She said it was really important to her that all of the family be invited, so she offered to host a family shower just for his side separately from the one my BM is throwing me.

Problem solved.

I spoke with my mother in law about who to invite.

I only invited his mom and grandma (he's not that close with his aunts and cousins and he doesn't have siblings).

You should invite all of FH's family to the shower. You do not want to alienate them, after all you are going to technically be IN their family! Think of this as a great way to get to know them better.