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B
Just Said Yes July 2018

Should i cancel shower?

Beth, on April 5, 2018 at 10:45 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16
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I am throwing a bridal shower for my sister. She currently lives across the country, and most of her friends live in her state. My mom and I decided to throw her a shower in her home town because of family that lives around here, and it would be too challenging to plan a shower in another state. She having a destination wedding of about 100 people. I knew the shower would be small because we do not have a big family, and it would be alot of travel for people, but I expected more people to RSVP yes. People who I expected to come rsvp'd no, and half didn't bother to respond. Her 3 other bridesmaids are not even attending. Out 25 people invited, 7 are going, including me, our sister, mom and the bride herself. Should I just cancelled the event? I don't want her to be upset her friends didn't show up. And I am embarrassed to have a shower with techniqually 3 guests. My heart is broken.

16 Comments

Latest activity by No , on April 6, 2018 at 10:42 AM
  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
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    That's really sad, and I'm so sorry.

    Honestly? Yeah, I'd probably cancel. I'm not sure there's any way to spin that in a positive way.

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  • C
    Savvy April 2018
    Colleen ·
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    My shower was hosted by my sister, we had: my
    mom, sister, me (bride), future mother in law, both his grandma's and his aunt. I had a great time. I wouldn't cancel.
    • Reply
  • augbride
    Super August 2018
    augbride ·
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    Aww this makes me sad! For similar reasons I asked my mom not to throw me a shower. My best friends all live out of state as well as most of my family so honestly know one would come. However, since you said you had seven people coming maybe explain the situation to your sister and let her decide if she’d still like to have a shower?
    • Reply
  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    Did you reach out to the half that didn't respond? You need an answer from them before you can know for sure how many you have coming. If even 3 or 4 of the 12 or so you haven't hear from are coming, you'll have a very nice shower.

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  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Both my showers were 7 or 8 people. I had a wonderful time at both. I was disappointed for the first that my aunt/cousin/her daughter couldn't attend because of a dance recital, but I still was happy to have a shower, however small.

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  • PrincessLawrence
    VIP June 2018
    PrincessLawrence ·
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    Is there any way to change the date?

    I feel fortunate to be having a shower of 65 this weekend.

    But i would not cancel
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  • Amandaw
    VIP April 2018
    Amandaw ·
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    Maybe cancel it and yall gi it somewhere special or di a spa day enstead
    • Reply
  • Christina
    Dedicated May 2018
    Christina ·
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    Call the people who didn't respond
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  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
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    Can you follow up with those who did not respond? You know your sister, if I were her, I’d appreciate you all making the effort! I wouldn’t care about the small turnout. Maybe her oot friends will plan another shower where she lives, but maybe they won’t. Don’t chance it and do this for your sister!
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  • C
    Expert September 2018
    catobx ·
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    I am scared of the same thing, but IMHO, don't cancel. The people who cared to reply, and are coming, want to be there to celebrate her. She will understand, given that so many people are out of state. My MOH just sent out my bridal shower invites, and I do not expect a majority to come.

    It sucks, but she deserves it just like any other bride. Just focus on who comes, and have a wonderful time. Even if it is super small, it will be memorable.

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  • Cassie
    Super April 2018
    Cassie ·
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    My mom threw me a surprise shower in my home state and including me and my FW, there were only six other people. It was perfect, I would def not cancel. Small showers can be nice and intimate!
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  • P
    Master April 2018
    Powers2 ·
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    Have you followed up with the guests you have not heard back from ? Sometimes people need a nudge to get back to you .

    If her bridesmaids are traveling already for her wedding, it’s a lot to ask to travel for just a shower.

    if you think this is too small of a number for a shower, consider hosting a luncheon instead.
    • Reply
  • Future Mrs M
    Super June 2018
    Future Mrs M ·
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    A lot of people have small showers in a home. Those do not have more than 10 people. It makes it more intimate and because of the traveling, I am sure that she will understand.

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  • F
    VIP August 2019
    Futuremrsk ·
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    I would follow up first with the people that didn't respond. If some of them say yes they are coming, then I would still hold the shower. If they all say no, then maybe you can still hold the date and instead of having a 'shower' maybe just do a nice brunch or lunch with those people?
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  • J
    Devoted June 2018
    Janie ·
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    I would reach out to the people who didn't respond, and if the guest list is still a lot lower than you were expecting, I would talk to your sister about it. Tell her you'd love to still host the shower, but if there's something else you can do for her, you'd be happy to host something else for the wedding. You could offer to put together a day of or day after brunch or a welcome dinner for out of town guests.

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  • No
    Devoted September 2018
    No ·
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    I'm am having a really small intimate shower, about 10ish people. That's what I wanted though, so my MOH respected that and is planning a super fancy tea party (little me has always wanted this). Is she hoping for a big shower? If she's indifferent about it, then I say continue. Either way she'll know that not a lot of people can attend. Would you rather continue and throw a small, super fun shower? Or tell her you can't do the shower because no one can come? Just do something that is suitable for a small group, maybe a nice brunch somewhere with mimosas...

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