Should i be this frustrated?

Have you reached out?? I’m sure she’s very disappointed and overwhelmed. I’m sure she would appreciate some communication from her guests sharing compassion and understanding of the situation. It’s a really hard decision to have to postpone your wedding. Maybe she only communicated with people who expressed interest in going to her wedding. I know I only reached out to people who RSVP’d yes, because I knew they wanted to be there.

View Quoted Comment I don’t have way to contact her and she didn’t even send anything for me to RSVP. I’m one of those people that plans ahead and replies to invitations as soon as I get them. The only information I received was the save the date.
My mom found out through a friend of hers (who owns the establishment where the bridal shower is happening) that the shower has been rescheduled to the original wedding date in June and rumor has it that the wedding is now in August.
I understand being compassionate and understanding, but at what point does it cross over from that?I don’t know. My cousin was engaged to her before a few years ago and things went sideways very quickly. So I’m not the biggest fan of his FW. I just don’t want him to get hurt again.

I think it’s fine to be a little frustrated, but you need to deal with it and let it go. Of course you didn’t receive a shower invite, there probably wasn’t one. As for wedding invites and new save the dates, maybe they’re still working on postponing and don’t have an official date yet. I honestly would assume that any summer wedding is going to be cancelled or postponed unless told otherwise.

View Quoted Comment ....so I’m assuming you’re not that close to your cousin If you don’t have any way of getting in contact with them....in a world of social media and texting, surely you could find a way, and if you don’t like her, you could reach out to him. He’s probably pretty disappointed too. I know my fiancé was happy to hear from his guests when we had to postpone.

I think it's fair to be a little frustrated, but not that much. It's their wedding and their day - I'm sure they're very upset and are trying to figure things out. We all have different planning styles and you have to respect how they handle things for their day. Maybe just reach out and ask how they are doing with all the stress. They probably need some support, especially from family.

No, you are not wrong to be annoyed but if you haven’t received any follow up invitation with a means to RSVP or they haven’t tried reaching out to their invited guests about updates, chances are they aren’t going through with it as originally planned. Not telling guests the month before if an event is cancelled is bad etiquette particularly if they have out of towner guests who have to arrange travel accommodations. Just chalk it up to poor planning on their part. I would definitely do what others suggested and follow up with either the FW, your cousin, your cousin’s parents, or really ANYONE who is close to them and can get their contact info to you so you can verify things from the source. Don’t depend on the grapevine.

Um, there is a pandemic. This couple is probably desperately trying to figure out what they can and cannot do and may be making decisions as the reality of the situation unfolds. Perhaps they are going to attempt to do something if they can, but it might mean cutting the guest list, and they just haven't decided yet. I'd cut them some slack. If they have postponed, they may have pushed the date back but still expect that cuts will need to be made, so haven't reached out yet because they don't know what that will look like. Maybe you're on the list for August if its a 100 person event but won't make the cut if it has to be 50 people or less, so they just have held off on giving out information because they just don't know. Yes it would be nice if they communicated more clearly but they are likely super stressed right now, and perhaps making sure every person on their guest list (especially if they were planning a big wedding) gets weekly updates as their plans change isn't a big priority.

You can also reach out to them. I see above it says you don't have a way to contact her, but what about your cousin? Does he have no idea what is happening with his own wedding? If you don't have a way to contact your own cousin I'd say you're probably not super close, so it makes sense that you wouldn't be intimately looped into their ever changing wedding plans and might not be included in whatever revamped plans they have.

I think it's fine to want more communication, but taking it personally just shows a lack of empathy for what this couple is going through at this point. I'm an organized person, and I like information, but someone else's disorganization is their problem, not yours. Just because you are also a bride-to-be doesn't mean you are experiencing this or handling this in the same way as this couple. Accept that you don't have as much info as you want, and take each day in stride. Right now, you have never received an invite so you are off the hook in terms of attending or responsibility for RSVPing. If that situation changes, then you can follow up as necessary to make sure you have the info you need to responsibly RSVP, send a gift, attend the wedding, etc.

No couple wants to be in this position. I think wedding guests in general need to gravitate towards empathy and understanding before getting annoyed, angry, or frustrated with whatever decisions couples are making at this point. Some of us who normally have our ish together are really struggling right now, and if you don't have contact info for the couple, you definitely aren't close enough to understand the complexities of their personal situation. Reserve your judgement and just support them however you can.

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I agree they are probably scrambling to reschedule and save what they can from their original plans. I think reaching out and showing you care would mean a lot to them. I know if it were me I'd be a mess and maybe wouldn't have the heart to reach out to everyone, I would do it eventually but I'd have a tough time doing so.

View Quoted Comment So I was about to write a whole big response, but Kari said everything I was planning to say perfectly. The couple probably doesn't know what they are doing yet because no one knows what the situation will be like in a month's time, 2 months, etc. The situation with COVID is rapidly changing and the landscape is so different from state to state that planning anything right now is basically a gamble. Is August going to be fine? Maybe. It's also just as likely that they may have to postpone a 2nd time. They are probably just trying to rangle all their ducks before they can even attempt to put them in a row and reach out to their full guest list.

I agree it is a little weird to not have gotten any change of date or notice or info at all regarding their wedding. But you do at some point gotta let it go too cause they probably have more to worry about or sometimes things are pushed back so much cause of the pandemic

I think it’s fair to be a little frustrated but also you should put yourself in their shoes. Trying to make decisions with so little information from the authorities about the future is really difficult, especially when it’s a huge life event like your wedding. Personally, my wedding is in June and I haven't sent anything to my guests yet. I just ordered postponement cards and I’ll be sending them as soon as I get them in the mail.
If you’re worried about travel, I’d suggest reaching out to one of their close family members to ask about potential new plans. I wouldn’t reach out directly to the couple unless I was super close with them. Just my opinion since I’m basically in their shoes atm.

Thanks ladies.
I think my normal calm demeanor has been deteriorated from being trapped in the house so long.
I reached out to my cousin as suggested. And he seems to be fine and said that postponing wasn’t very stressful. He also shared the new date and that save the new dates were going to be mailed out soon. Thanks for being an ear!

I think u have a right to be annoyed but she probably doesnt know what her plan is yet. i think no news is good news in her case. i havent reached out to my guests yet

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We are all going crazy! I hope your cousins wedding and your wedding are able to happen as planned and are wonderful!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Kari!
It’s a busy late summer/early fall for my family.
Cousin wedding in AugustAunt’s wedding in SeptemberMy wedding in November
🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 Think positive thoughts. I just scheduled my alterations appointment today 😁

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We had to push our date back from May this year to June next year and I'm so nervous about it. I'm really hoping everything goes back to normal sooner rather than later and your weddings can all pave the way for those of us who had to reschedule. Best of luck!